Tag: manufacturing

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No, I am not the stripper, I work here!

Momginerd

As most of you know, I work in a traditionally man’s job.  I am a facilities engineer/energy conservation champion for a 2.4 million square foot manufacturing plant.  I have worked at manufacturing plants as an engineer for over 12 years.  I like it, I really do!  There are times when I hate it, but isn’t that pretty much every person’s job?  I was first introduced to the “joys” of being a female in a plant environment was when I was 18 going on 19.  You see, Momginerd wasn’t ALWAYS the biggest studious Nerd I grew into.  I had a short period in college when life was more about boys, partying, sports,  and anything BUT studying.  I was lucky in high school in that I made really good grades with minimal effort.  However, the rigors of a challenging college where everyone was intelligent was a different experience for me.  All of a sudden, I was making letter grades that I had never even seen before!  I got a C on my semester report card, and a bunch of Bs but the usual A’s were woefully missing…..in my family an A- was questioned, so you can imagine how a C went over like a turd in the punch bowl.

“Nic, clean all of these with toxic chemicals and a paint brush”

My wise father decided that it may be time for me to learn a lesson.  I do not come from a family of Office Workers.  My grandfather was a Coal Miner, my grandmother a Seamstress, my dad started his career as a skilled trades worker, and continued to work in automotive manufacturing for over 35 years.  The value of hard work was one that had been instilled in me my whole life…second only to the value of the dollar and the importance of an education.  For Pops to believe that I was wasting all 3 of his hard taught lessons led him to scheme the ultimate revenge:  He arranged for me to work in a machining shop for the summer….not in the office, but actually IN THE SHOP, as the only female.  Mind you, this was quite a few years ago, and this was an “old school” shop that was not unionized (thus how he could arrange for his 18 year old daughter to work 72 hours a week, I am sure).  I worked 12 hours a day 6 days per week.  I wore: Safety glasses, long sleeves, long pants, hair in a bun, mesh gloves, and steel toed shoes.  Isn’t that the ultimate outfit for a cute little 18 year old to wear? Oh, and in case you don’t have the full picture of this “opportunity,” I had to drive about 30 minutes each way for a start time at 6:30 AM and there was NO air-conditioning in the shop.  Not only did I look gorgeous, I smelled FANTASTIC by the end of the day.

This is an industrial press similar to the ones used in my shop

Since I obviously had no skilled trades experience, I was informed that I would be the shop machine cleaner, and if I was really lucky, I could work my way up to loading/unloading parts from the presses.  Oh Goody!  Anyway, I show up for my first day with my required safety equipment and my brown bag lunch.  On that first day, my start was later than normal since I had to go get a physical and drug test prior to starting.  I walk into the shop and a guy comes up to me and says: “Oh you must be here for the retirement party!”  I replied, “I don’t think so….”  My confusion was at a high level at this point.  He then escorts me to an area of the plant and asks me, “Where is your boom box?”  Confusion mounting even more, I replied, “I really didn’t think this would be the sort of job where I would need one.”  Now, he is looking at ME very quizzically.  We continue walking through the plant, and I notice I am getting a lot of very “interested” stares, and the guys are following along like I am the Pied Piper or someting.  Now, this was not normal for me at all, but I was beginning to think I may like working there!  We finally reach the back of the plant and everyone starts gathering around and staring at me.  I was thinking, “Wow! they must be SO happy to have a fresh face in here, look at how eagerly they are looking at me!”  So, I said, “Thanks for gathering together to welcome me here, do you know what I will be doing?”

At that point, 45 men started realizing that there may be some confusion as to who and what I was doing there.  One of them, after a very long pregnant pause, said, “You aren’t here to strip for Fred on his last day of work?”  I then stammered, with much embarrassment, “Um, no, I am your new employee.”  That response was met with many people talking at once.  Some of the snippets I remember included:
1.  WTF? A GIRL in here?
2.  Ummmmm…..where IS the stripper then?
3.  She won’t last 2 days after this! (I detected much glee with this one)
4.  Who did she piss off to have to work here?

The stripper did end up showing up about 15 minutes later, much to the relief of the guys and the mortification of myself.  I oftentimes wonder what the hell my dad thought of the fact that his lesson led me to be mistaken for a stripper….I do chuckle, now, but at the time you can believe the lesson was learned, and I can honestly say all that hard earned money, stripping machines of their grime, not me of my clothes, led to a marked improvement in my study skills and grades.  Lesson learned, Dad!

I think the funniest (Now, not then) days must have been when my dad or uncle would visit the shop for business and see me working covered head to toe in metal shavings and grease.  I literally had to strip to my skivvys at the entryway to the house before my parents would let me enter.  I spent much time that summer with a needle digging out shavings from my hands, face, scalp, neck, etc….If nothing else, that experience taught me to work smarter not harder, and to dress ALWAYS in a way to NOT be mistaken as a stripper!

Until next time,
Nic

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Dear Dumbass Manager:

Momginerd
Not the actual dumbass, but an actor portraying him

Dear Dumbass at work,
You are a major f-tard.  Just because you screwed up and are now scrambling to find a scapegoat for your misguided actions I will NOT be your punching bag.  In case you didn’t notice, you are 6’3″ and I am 5’1″, so it is probably unlikely that I was bullying you when I pointed out the reality of your lackadaisical actions over the past 9 months.  Yes, now YOU have some ‘splaining to do and I am not going to bail you out.  YOU are the one with the 2 fancy lease cars, corner office, and staff.  I am the peon that has been going behind you cleaning up your shit-pile like a street sweeper.  Is it really my fault that now you are being questioned?  Should I just bury my head in the sand  like you have, and pretend that it is all going to work out when clearly you have created a big f’n mess?  I think not.  Oh, and YES I have documented every.single.time you declined to act on the situation, so just try to blame me.

For what it is worth, you may have felt better venting your pedantic frustrations on me, but you looked like a major ass.  All 5 people who witnessed your toddler-like outburst were full of indignation and umbrage after our meeting.  As far as your comment that I was “yelling at you”, all the while you were standing over me, projecting spittle in my direction and banging the table, next time I will try whispering.  Pardon me, I didn’t realize that you had such sensitive hearing to rational speech.

Can’t wait to see how you explain this!

I have decided that passive resistance is the way to go with you.  So even though you deserve to be brought to the carpet for your actions, I will be sitting back and watching you crash and burn.  I am sure the VP will be happy to know your decisions has cost the company a lot of money!  I hope you enjoyed your little venting session, because when you are the PEON next month, I am sure you will be handed your ass to yourself on a shiny platter.  Meanwhile, I will be laughing my ass off!

So, congratulations!  You are the idiot of the year.  Let me know how you like the reward that will be coming to you soon ‘cuz I am sure the company will appreciate your attempt to play hide the weeny with their money!

Even David thinks you are an idiot!
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Working in a Gender Bending Role…….The Negatives

Momginerd

Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career.  Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.

1.  No, I am not an expert on ALL things female.  I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn’t prepared when you get home.  I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change.  Please talk to your wife, not me.  Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin’.

2.  The noises.  Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son.  Some of the doozies are:  Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying.  Farting, no definition required, I am sure.  Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted “coming back up.”  Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking….just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.

3.  The advice.  Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a “smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career.”
4.  The Nicknames.  Oh yeah, I have a few.  Some of them are mean, some are condescending and pretty much most of them are inappropriate.  I have been dubbed the Princess Bitch, Little Lady, Work Wife, Bossy Lady, Aggressive Wench….etc, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  I would like to say that just because I am in charge, I am not a bitch.  I don’t hear you bitching about the Men who have similar expectations of you….my having female parts does not detract from the fact that I have a brain and I have earned my spot as a leader.  So, STFU and keep it to yourself.

5.  Did you know that if there is a woman in a generally all male workgroup it is the unspoken rule that said woman must organize all social events for the group?  She must remember all birthdays and arrange for any activities for the birthday?  She is also in charge of collecting and purchasing gifts for the group members’ wives who have children.  I did not realize that a vijayjay came with the unique ability to be the work wife of every person who works in my department!  Thanks….especially since when I was the one having the babies, nobody did jack shit.  I guess I should have purchased something for myself and then asked for donations and passed around my own card….Jackholes.

6.  Guilt.  I believe that when you work with all men, mommy guilt tends to be magnified.  Most of the men I work with when their kids are ill and unable to go to school their wives take care of them.  Well, I am the MOM and my kids want me when they are sick.  They also want me to go to their graduations, games and other activities that to me are more important than keeping a chair warm at my office.  I am mobile and always available via BlackBerry and laptop.  I am actually more productive from home as all my co-workers aren’t coming by to ask me about all their wives “womanly issues.”  However, it never fails that if I take time to do something for my kids, I get a snide comment from a co-worker the next day.

So, there are a few snippets of being a woman working in a Man’s world.  All in all, I enjoy it, but there are some days I want to just remind them of their manners and put them in time-out!

Until next time,
Nic

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Working in a gender bending role….The positives

Momginerd

This will be the first of a two part series.  Because I like to consider myself an optimist,  I am going to start with the positives :).

First a bit of background.  I am a manufacturing engineer and I work in a 2.5M square foot manufacturing facility.  I work for one of the Big 3 American Automotive companies.  Yes, there are other women who work in my plant, but the majority of them do not work in an engineering capacity.  There are many hardworking women working on the production line, a few work in Finance, and then there are a few who work in the Administrative role.  These are all very important jobs within my company, but are more stereotypically “female.”  Of the approximately 3,000 people employed at my plant, there are about 8 women in a “technical leadership role.” 

1. I ALWAYS look good.  Seriously, if you are a woman who is feeling down on yourself, consider a career change.  I never go at least one day where I am not cat-called, oogled, hit on, or otherwise made to feel like men find me attractive.  Of course, these are the SAME men that wouldn’t glance my way in a bar.  When compared to the competition in a plant, I AM the hot one, and frankly if feels good sometimes at my advanced maternal age.
2.  Just one of the guys.  After a while my breasts seem to lose their ability to make men check themselves in their manners.  At first when I started in this position, the “guys” would constantly be excusing themselves for swearing, putting down women, or otherwise just being men.  This may sound like a negative, but in actuality it is a good thing.  I get much more accomplished now that I am earning their respect for the quality of my work instead of the size of my bra. 

3.  Respect from folks outside of my plant.  I think that when acquaintances hear what I do for a career many of them are unnecessarily impressed.  In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t think it is that impressive.  I mean, at the end of the day, exactly WHAT I am doing at work really will not mean anything in the long run.  The fact that I am a divorced mother with 3 young children who have all thus far managed to not become derelicts and be placed in juvie, well that is impressive!

4.  I can hold my own in just about any situation.  I was blessed to have earned a fair amount of education and experience in the last 42 years of living.  Working in manufacturing has given me the opportunities to learn about a lot of things many women wouldn’t.  For example, HH and I are going to remodel our kitchen.  I have learned enough through my experiences that I feel confident in designing, planning, installing, and working on my own home.  Yeah, I know it makes you feel better that I am more concerned about engineering my own home than the car you drive your family around in daily.  The difference is, I have to LIVE in my kitchen daily, you, I may not even ever have to meet (just kidding, truly!). 

5.  I have a lot of male friends.  This is a good thing because even if I am totally not interested in any sporting/hunting/car racing/golfing/etc events I can discuss them with a level of intelligence as to not embarrass myself.  I gain these little tidbits through osmosis by having to hear the stats at the beginning and end of every meeting. 

6. Cutting through the bullshit.  Let’s face it, talking with men is a totally different dynamic than talking with women.  Women are about the details, men are about the facts, in most cases.  Through dealing with mostly men, I have gained the ability to listen to a topic and pick out the relevant parts of it quickly and succinctly.  Why is this a positive? Because, when dealing with teachers, coaches, kids, contractors, doctors, husbands (wink), etc, I can listen to what they say and then hone in on the main points quickly.  This speeds things up tremendously, and frankly I do not have the time to listen to long drawn out stories when I have exactly 23 minutes to feed 3 kids and cart them to 3 separate activities all while sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and managing both HH and my EX’s social calendars.

7.  The wardrobe.  I do not have to spend oodles of money on fancy clothes.  I wear basic pants, a blouse or a sweater, a blue supervisor’s jacket complete with my name and company logo embroidered on my breasts, steel-toed shoes, bright yellow hard hat, and safety glasses EVERY SINGLE working day.  And, because men or so fashionably clueless, I rotate the same 5 outfits every single week (yeah, I know I dress like that and #1 still applies!).  Of course, they still ARE men, so I do have one low cut blouse that I pull out if I really need to get a job done more quickly….works every time!  It’s funny how making the girls a little more perky can remind these guys that I am STILL a woman ;-).

All in all, I am fortunate that I have a good job that allows me to have a decent home, comfortable life, and lots of opportunities to learn!

Be looking for the not so positives in the near future!

Nic