balancing – Momginerd

Gadgets and Aps that Make My Life Easier

March 16, 2012 Momginerd

Being a self-proclaimed Mom-Engineer-Nerd (momginerd), I am often asked for advice on technological items that I would recommend. Although I am not really an expert on gadgets and tech, I LOVE them. So, I thought I’d share some of the items/aps that make my life easier or more enjoyable and hope that you will add a comment at the end of the Blog on some of the things you like too!

These will be in no particular order, but I like lists 😉

1. iPhone

I used to be a die-hard BlackBerry Girl. I would look down my nose at iPhone or Droid users and think that those are TOYS whereas I have a real workhorse in my crackberry. I liked the blackberry because I could get my work email and calendar delivered directly to the phone. This was HUGE as a working mom with 3 kids, as it gave me the ability to stay in touch with work, while still taking the kids to the doctor, going on field trips, etc. When my company announced they were going to start supporting iPhones with Good to do the same thing and simultaneously my Bold started acting up (for the 3rd time in a year), I took the plunge and ordered my iPhone. And let me tell you, it has been a double edged sword. Whereas before my phone was used as, well a phone, for email and calendar and texting, that was about it. Now, my iPhone is like an umbilical cord attached to all aspects of my life. Without it I wouldn’t remember to take my meds, read the news, or check FaceBook. Because of this flexibility I also have become entrenched in the ~~Curse~~ phenomena known as Words With Friends. I also check FaceBook a lot more since I can now do it on my phone more easily.

2. Evernote

This is an Ap that is available for all smartphones, PC’s, and Tablets. It is basically a “get yo’ shit organized” Ap that is FREE! In order for me to maintain any semblance or sanity and not lose my schmidt on a daily basis I do a lot of list making, note taking, calendar planning. Evernote works in that I can do this and COMMUNICATE the lists I have made to Hottie Husband seamlessly. For example, HH was grocery shopping (yes, he does this, NO you can’t have him), and I remembered I forgot to add kale to the shopping list. I simply went to the Evernote Ap and added it to the list. Meanwhile HH was shopping from his Evernote Ap and didn’t even know that I had added this item. This also works for adding things I want but am too guilty to buy (Ice Cream). *Ahem*

3. Say Mmmm

This is a website that allows you to plan menus, store recipes and create and organize grocery lists. It has made menu planning SO much easier for me. I religiously plan the weekly menus every Sunday. the BEST part about Say Mmmm is that it LINKS TO EVERNOTE!!!!! So I can create my menu, look up recipes and then send the weekly menu, recipes and grocery list all to Evernote. I also send it to my kids Evernote accounts and I no longer hear 100 times per day, “what’s for dinner.” Bonus, bonus, bonus!

4. Kindle

This is version of Kindle I currently own. It is my second Kindle. I read voraciously, probably 3 – 4 books per month. I also like to read 2 – 3 books simultaneously. An eReader is a great invention for me, because I don’t have to carry around multiple books, just the light and compact reader! Of course now I am drooling over the newest version the Kindle Fire. AND here is the thing, I will still be keeping my old one for reading during lunch breaks, taking to kids sporting practices etc. I just ~~need~~ want the Fire for the backlit screen, ability to watch movies, play games, and for magazines. Why not an iPad, I have been asked. And for me, it is mostly a matter of cost. Why spend $500 for an iPad when I can spend less than half that on a Fire and have all the things an iPad does? I already have an iPhone, so I just am (for right now) not interested in investing more money into an iPad which is an overgrown iPhone, without the phone. We are already avid supporters of Amazon.com, so streaming movies from their Prime site is very appealing. That is, of course, not to say I would not accept an iPad if it were offered, feel free to let me know if you’d like to donate one to me ;).

5. Waze

This is a navigation application for SmartPhones. It is a unique approach to navigation because it crosses navigation with social media. As you are driving, if you see an accident, traffic jam, etc you simply push a simple icon on the screen and it sends your report to all other drivers near you. Every time you stop, it will flash the local traffic issues on your screen. When you use the navigation portion of the application, it will look at your route and suggest alternative routes to save time if there are reported traffic issues. I commute 40 miles each way to work on the busiest roads. This application has saved me countless lost minutes and episodes of road rage already. Waze is a must, in my opinion for commuters! I also found this neat dash pad mat for my iPhone that allows it to stick to the dashboard without doing any permanent damage. I have been using it for 2 months and it has never allowed My Precious (iPhone’s nickname) to fall!

What are some of your favorite Aps and Gadgets? Any I need to add to my (ever growing) list?

Nic

divorce, parenting

Making divorce with kids involved work….sort of…..

September 21, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Lately I have been getting a few questions from colleagues and friends as to just how I make my divorce work. And eventhought Divorce and Making Things Work seems to be dichotomus, I thought I’d share some of the strategies that I have chosen to use and, thankfully, Ex follows along (if only he was so ammendable when we were married!).

1. Keep the kids first

Whenever I am deciding on a schedule change for the kids, personal decisions relating to my career, vacations, meal planning, etc I ALWAYS think of the kids first. If this change or decision would add undue stress to their schedules of lives, I just do not do it, or I change my plans. Even though I am remarried, HH is perfectly clear and understanding that the kids come first, and he, poor soul is a distant 4th.

2. Communicate, communicate, communicate

We use ALL these and more to keep
try and keep in touch, it seems.

Ex and I communicate every.single.mother.furking.day. Seriously! We either text, phone or email daily updates about the kids at least once a day. Some days, it seems like I talk to my Ex more than I talk to HH. I will admit, when we were in the process of getting divorced this communication wasn’t always pleasant or positive. It took time, energy, patience and dedication to strategy #1 for us both to make it work. I automatically forward every email/text I receive dealing with any of the kids school/social/athletic events. I will also Text and/or call Ex to REMIND him of events and exactly what is required for said event (special shirt, $$, gear, etc). It takes a lot of time, energy and patience, but it makes #1 work better…at the end of the day my mantra is “It is for the kids, if they are happy, I am happy.”

3. Agree to disagree

Ex and I definitely have different ideas on raising kids, morals, religion, etc. If we didn’t then we most likely would not be Exes. We finally came to a point about 6 months after our divorce was finalized that we agreed to disagree. This means that sometimes he makes decisions I don’t agree with (like having a babysitter for the kids almost every weekend he has them), but I do my best to keep my $.02 to myself about his decisions. He does the same for me, although he has little to complain about since I am so perfect ;-).

4. Let go and FORGIVE

OMG! They are KISSING
AGAIN!!!!!

No matter the circumstances that led to the end of your marriage you must learn to forgive your ex and more importantly, yourself. There can never be the end of a relationship that resulted in children when both parties do not feel some sort of guilt. Learning to forgive yourself and your ex will allow you to move on and become a better parent. Most folks had NO clue that Ex and I were going to get a divorce…until we did. We didn’t fight, we didn’t argue….we also didn’t love each other anymore. We were two people living separate lives in the same house. We do more together NOW than we did when we were married. I felt SO guilty about “breaking up my family and doing this to my kids.” I finally forgave myself when I realized that the marriage I had was NOT the example I wanted to set forth for my kids of a healthy adult relationship.

Until next time,

Nic

parenting

Here is my take on the different types of Adults in America

August 30, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

In America there are many different groups of “Adults.” These can be broken down into distinct categories, each with their own unique features.

Here is how I see them:

1. DINKs (Dual income, no kids): These are the people who have worked hard at their careers and have decided either by choice or circumstance not to have kids. To those of us with kids, these people live the high life. They tend to have fancy toys, go on vacations, have no clue about that particular torture other parents call “kid(s) in team sports”, or limitations on spending money. I have some of these friends, and I can honestly say I am jealous of their lifestyle. When my other parented friends discuss this we always go back to the “Oh well, we can do that when the kids are grown.” The failing I find in that logic is, I will OLD when my kids are grown. Will I really WANT a camper, boat, big house, huge yard, cottage, etc when I am in my 60’s?

2. Partnered Parents with 1 kid: I like to call these parents “Practice Parents.” When you have only one child you are really not that inconvenienced. 1 kid is portable and shareable. Each parent can have equal share (even though most times we know Mom’s do most of the work). If one parent has something they’d like to do, it isn’t too big of a deal for the other to keep the child occupied. It is also easy to hire a babysitter or ask a family member to keep one child. Start adding complexity to the equation, and your social life ends. Most of my friends with one child still seem to lead pretty fun lives. Their Facebook pages claim they are going on vacations, many have boats, cottages, etc. I know when I only had one, I pretty much did everything I wanted to do…I just brought Manudo with me…she was portable like that.

3. Parents with 2 kids: These are the justice scale parents. They either have 1 kid for each hand, or divide the kids up equally between the parents. Extra lucky are the parents that get one kid of each sex. Then they can divide by gender and everyone is happy! It is still somewhat feasible to ask a family member to watch them so you and your partner can have some alone time…just don’t do it too often, as that leads to:

Oh look, mommy and daddy were busy with 2 of the 3 kids!

4. Parents with 3 or more kids: These are the adults that are frazzled ALL THE TIME. When you have 3 or more kids you never have enough hours in the day, money in the bank, or hands to keep them all in line. For some reason adding that 3rd (and subsequent) child will turn your household into a war-zone. Why is it that if I take any one of my kids out of the equation the other two will get along and not fight at all? As soon as the 3rd returns from wherever they have been, all hell breaks loose! Parents with 3 or more kids also find it is more difficult to do things as a family…there is no more “pairing off” as 1 child will always be free to cause chaos upon the world. 3 or more kids is especially “fun” when they all have to go to the restroom and there is only 1 parent around. At what age is is inappropriate for me to force my son to go to the ladies room cuz the girls have to go? Am I supposed to just leave him out in the restaurant to his own devices?

Image result for single parent 4. Single parents: These folks are SAINTS and SUPERHEROS! I have been there and it was extremely trying, difficult, and many times overwhelming. No matter HOW many kids single parents have, it is always difficult. Add more than 1 and your life becomes ruled by the laws of fairness and your brain becomes fixated on technology for cloning. How the heck is a person supposed to work and get 3 kids to 3 different activities, all the while planning nutritious meals and helping with homework? At some point, a single parent learns a lesson that many paired parents do not figure out until their kids hammer it into their brains during the horrid “I hate my parents” teenage years. This lesson is: We are not perfect, we will make mistakes, and worst of all we will disappoint the little people in our lives who used to think we are perfect. That look in your child’s eyes the first time you forget to pack the permission slip or are late to pick them up after school is heartbreaking for every parent. I think the Single parents feel it to a higher degree because they feel like they have to be even more perfect than their peers who have partners. I mean at least partnered parents have someone else to blame, am I right?

Which kind of Adult are you? What are some of the challenges I have missed? What do you love most about the life you are living with or without kids?

Until next time,

Nic

Uncategorized

Working in a Gender Bending Role…….The Negatives

June 16, 2011 Momginerd

Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career. Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.

1. No, I am not an expert on ALL things female. I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn’t prepared when you get home. I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change. Please talk to your wife, not me. Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin’.

2. The noises. Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son. Some of the doozies are: Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying. Farting, no definition required, I am sure. Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted “coming back up.” Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking….just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.

3. The advice. Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a “smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career.”
4. The Nicknames. Oh yeah, I have a few. Some of them are mean, some are condescending and pretty much most of them are inappropriate. I have been dubbed the Princess Bitch, Little Lady, Work Wife, Bossy Lady, Aggressive Wench….etc, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I would like to say that just because I am in charge, I am not a bitch. I don’t hear you bitching about the Men who have similar expectations of you….my having female parts does not detract from the fact that I have a brain and I have earned my spot as a leader. So, STFU and keep it to yourself.

5. Did you know that if there is a woman in a generally all male workgroup it is the unspoken rule that said woman must organize all social events for the group? She must remember all birthdays and arrange for any activities for the birthday? She is also in charge of collecting and purchasing gifts for the group members’ wives who have children. I did not realize that a vijayjay came with the unique ability to be the work wife of every person who works in my department! Thanks….especially since when I was the one having the babies, nobody did jack shit. I guess I should have purchased something for myself and then asked for donations and passed around my own card….Jackholes.

6. Guilt. I believe that when you work with all men, mommy guilt tends to be magnified. Most of the men I work with when their kids are ill and unable to go to school their wives take care of them. Well, I am the MOM and my kids want me when they are sick. They also want me to go to their graduations, games and other activities that to me are more important than keeping a chair warm at my office. I am mobile and always available via BlackBerry and laptop. I am actually more productive from home as all my co-workers aren’t coming by to ask me about all their wives “womanly issues.” However, it never fails that if I take time to do something for my kids, I get a snide comment from a co-worker the next day.

So, there are a few snippets of being a woman working in a Man’s world. All in all, I enjoy it, but there are some days I want to just remind them of their manners and put them in time-out!

Until next time,
Nic

Uncategorized

Working in a gender bending role….The positives

June 8, 2011 Momginerd

This will be the first of a two part series. Because I like to consider myself an optimist, I am going to start with the positives :).

First a bit of background. I am a manufacturing engineer and I work in a 2.5M square foot manufacturing facility. I work for one of the Big 3 American Automotive companies. Yes, there are other women who work in my plant, but the majority of them do not work in an engineering capacity. There are many hardworking women working on the production line, a few work in Finance, and then there are a few who work in the Administrative role. These are all very important jobs within my company, but are more stereotypically “female.” Of the approximately 3,000 people employed at my plant, there are about 8 women in a “technical leadership role.”

1. I ALWAYS look good. Seriously, if you are a woman who is feeling down on yourself, consider a career change. I never go at least one day where I am not cat-called, oogled, hit on, or otherwise made to feel like men find me attractive. Of course, these are the SAME men that wouldn’t glance my way in a bar. When compared to the competition in a plant, I AM the hot one, and frankly if feels good sometimes at my advanced maternal age.
2. Just one of the guys. After a while my breasts seem to lose their ability to make men check themselves in their manners. At first when I started in this position, the “guys” would constantly be excusing themselves for swearing, putting down women, or otherwise just being men. This may sound like a negative, but in actuality it is a good thing. I get much more accomplished now that I am earning their respect for the quality of my work instead of the size of my bra.

3. Respect from folks outside of my plant. I think that when acquaintances hear what I do for a career many of them are unnecessarily impressed. In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t think it is that impressive. I mean, at the end of the day, exactly WHAT I am doing at work really will not mean anything in the long run. The fact that I am a divorced mother with 3 young children who have all thus far managed to not become derelicts and be placed in juvie, well that is impressive!

4. I can hold my own in just about any situation. I was blessed to have earned a fair amount of education and experience in the last 42 years of living. Working in manufacturing has given me the opportunities to learn about a lot of things many women wouldn’t. For example, HH and I are going to remodel our kitchen. I have learned enough through my experiences that I feel confident in designing, planning, installing, and working on my own home. Yeah, I know it makes you feel better that I am more concerned about engineering my own home than the car you drive your family around in daily. The difference is, I have to LIVE in my kitchen daily, you, I may not even ever have to meet (just kidding, truly!).

5. I have a lot of male friends. This is a good thing because even if I am totally not interested in any sporting/hunting/car racing/golfing/etc events I can discuss them with a level of intelligence as to not embarrass myself. I gain these little tidbits through osmosis by having to hear the stats at the beginning and end of every meeting.

6. Cutting through the bullshit. Let’s face it, talking with men is a totally different dynamic than talking with women. Women are about the details, men are about the facts, in most cases. Through dealing with mostly men, I have gained the ability to listen to a topic and pick out the relevant parts of it quickly and succinctly. Why is this a positive? Because, when dealing with teachers, coaches, kids, contractors, doctors, husbands (wink), etc, I can listen to what they say and then hone in on the main points quickly. This speeds things up tremendously, and frankly I do not have the time to listen to long drawn out stories when I have exactly 23 minutes to feed 3 kids and cart them to 3 separate activities all while sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and managing both HH and my EX’s social calendars.

7. The wardrobe. I do not have to spend oodles of money on fancy clothes. I wear basic pants, a blouse or a sweater, a blue supervisor’s jacket complete with my name and company logo embroidered on my breasts, steel-toed shoes, bright yellow hard hat, and safety glasses EVERY SINGLE working day. And, because men or so fashionably clueless, I rotate the same 5 outfits every single week (yeah, I know I dress like that and #1 still applies!). Of course, they still ARE men, so I do have one low cut blouse that I pull out if I really need to get a job done more quickly….works every time! It’s funny how making the girls a little more perky can remind these guys that I am STILL a woman ;-).

All in all, I am fortunate that I have a good job that allows me to have a decent home, comfortable life, and lots of opportunities to learn!

Be looking for the not so positives in the near future!

Nic