parenting

M.O.M. = Mean Ol’ Mom

Momginerd

M.O.M. (Mean Ol’ Mom) Yes that is me, and I am damn proud of the title.  Perhaps I am old school, but I believe that when I brought children into the world, I took on the job of insuring that they be: Respectful, Kind, Responsible, Independent, Inquisitive, Behaved, Educated, Kind, and Domesticated.

To accomplish these goals, I am raising my kids with a proverbial iron fist.  I do not believe they were put on  this Earth to be worshiped.  The fact that they were born of my body does not make them perfect, nor does it make me believe that everyone in the fracking (bonus points to those fellow geeks who get this reference) world must worship them.  When in public, I expect them to act like they have been there before…if they don’t then we will leave and go home where the wrath of M.O.M will be unleashed upon them and their precious privileges.

I also believe that those privileges need to be EARNED.  I work hard to EARN the privilege of my paycheck and I firmly assert that my kids need to earn the privilege of their computer time, play dates, video games, etc.  There are expectations that are set for them, and if they do not meet them, they lose out on their privileges.

For example:  Bubbie has had a lot of issues with his ADHD and behavior in the classroom.  He has learned that he can blame such behavior on said ADHD.  Little does he know, he is not fooling anyone but himself.  If he can sit and play Plants -vs- Zombies for 2 hours in front of the computer without invading someone else’s personal space, he can sit for a 20 minute math lesson in class.  Repeatedly, I was called by the teacher to address this issue regarding Bubbie.  We did due diligence and came up with a fair contract both at home and with the school to assist him.  Guess what?  The contract worked GREAT, until that smart bugger figured out that once he has XX days of success, he wasn’t going to get a damn prize for DOING WHAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO DO!  The very next day, and for 3 consecutive days thereafter, his behavior was that of a howler monkey who had his banana stolen and was shot up with adrenalin.

Image result for crazy ape
Give me my fraking banana or I will go ape $hit!

Bubbie and I had a “discussion” with the promise made that if he did not meet his minimum goal the following day, he would not attend a field trip with his class that week.  Obviously Bubbie is a bit stubborn and thinks that M.O.M. is a softie….He was SO wrong.  He sat home with the Nanny while all his classmates went on a fantabulous field trip.  Let me just say, Bubbie never failed to meet his “minimum expectation” again for that behavior.

Many of  my family/friends told me how unfair I was being to my poor precious male child.  Bah…I responded that I have earned the title of M.O.M. the hard way, by saying what I mean and meaning what I say and having the fortitude and courage to follow up with actions.  Trust me, this is not the easy way to parent.  Sometimes I think that “permissive” parents feel that they have made the choice that is the most work.  I disagree 100%.  It is so easy to let your kids treat you and others with disrespect, to run amok everywhere, to be rude and demanding, and to basically become drains on society.  It is MUCH harder to set rules and consistently enforce them.  It takes a lot of training of one’s offspring for them to realize that when they get “the look” or hear “the voice” (which is actually the opposite of yelling, it consists of clenching your jaw and hissing at them to “stop it right now”) to know that M.O.M. means business and they better straighten up right now.  If not, you may end up like this:

 

Help us! We didn’t respond to “the look” or “the voice”!!!

Teaching good manners are a huge goal of effective parenting to me.  It isn’t because “manners” are that important to  perse, but more because the act of teaching manners requires patience and consistency and the art of learning manners teaches respect and the ability to react consistently.  My kids rarely forget to say thank you, excuse me, or chew with their mouths open.  I firmly believe that by consistently pushing them to practice good manners, it makes it easier for them to follow all rues.  Manners is something that crosses all social situations both at home and in public so I think that they become more accustomed to life’s other rules and expectations.

I love (read hate) going out to eat when there are other families there and the kids are going bat ass crazy the whole time.  Really?!?  I want those parents to know: I do not like your kids, I do not think their behaviour is cute or funny or charming, and I think you are a failure of a parent if you can’t teach your kids that disturbing others who are also paying for their meals is rude.  When you give the other diners who are staring at you the raised shoulder smirk that means “Kids! What are you going to do?” You can be sure that we all have some friendly advice for you that involves discipline and basic consistent teaching of manners!
My parents Button

I get so frustrated and sick and tired of listening to all the complaining of other parents saying “I can’t understand why my kid is such a brat and so disrespectful.” Ummmm….maybe because these parents are so afraid of “hurting their feelings” that they don’t discipline them????? People can blame television, video games, etc, but at the end of the day we have to realize that if we do not have high expectations in the home, why should kids feel they have to exceed at anything? And yes, I have torn to pieces homework assignments that were done too quickly and were too messy to read. I have had kids miss fun activities because they didn’t clean their room well enough, do things “because I said so,” and many other M.O.M. things that “hurt their feelings”. I tell them to build a bridge and get over it.  Life is full of disappointments, but unless you learn to deal with both success AND failure, you will never be anything.

NO, I am not saying my parenting is perfect nor are my kids perfect. But I will say that invariably their teachers/other parents comment on how self sufficient they are, how respectful they are, and how they seem mature when compared to their peers. NO, I wouldn’t write a book about it or expect every parent to parent as I do.  However, I do think this country is in a world of hurt in the future if the next generation doesn’t learn that mommy isn’t going to be there to schedule their every activity, tell them that last place is always okay and reward them for just showing up and taking up space. You can have the world’s best self esteem, but if you can’t hold a job, be independent, follow rules, get along with others, or make your own decisions, where in life will you end up?

Rant over!

Until next time,
Nic

parenting

My Daughter is my hero

Momginerd
This is my oldest daughter.  I want to be like her when I grow up.  She is tall, thin, goofy, funny, modest, gorgeous and extremely intelligent.  I have learned so many things from her, and most of them are things about myself.

Manudo is a voracious reader.  I never thought that I would ever say to a child “Put the book down.”  I sometimes find her under her covers with a flashlight reading at night!  Then, she wakes up all cranky the next morning and can’t understand why…duh….

The biggest lesson Manudo has taught me is that it is OKAY to be different.  She is her own person, all the time.  She does not bend to convention or peer pressure.  If someone doesn’t like her, she really doesn’t care.  If someone does something stupid, she isn’t afraid to confront them.  Until Manudo, I thought being popular with my peers was really important.  To this day I still get hurt feelings if my friends have a party and don’t invite me.  My quirky daughter has taught me that the people who really matter are the ones that want you to be with them…and if they don’t then it really isn’t worth getting your panties in a wad about because they really don’t matter.

She is a fierce protector of her little siblings.  It is ironic to me that she will beat the Hell out of them and yell about how annoying they are, but if another person even comes near them she is like a tigress protecting her cubs.  Of course, five minutes later she is telling them that she wishes she was an only child.

Manudo is the kid that offers to help out at parties by helping the adults clean or watching all the smaller children.  She has an old soul, I think, and really likes being around older kids and adults more than kids her own age.  When I asked her about it she said, “Girls my age are into crazy stuff like Justin Bieber, make-up, giggling and other time wasters.”  I kid you not.  There are no posters hanging on the walls and most of the time she forgets to turn her cell phone on!

Manudo also has a very kind heart.  She never forgets a birthday or other special occasion.  She also still thinks I am cool.  That in itself is a great feeling and a miracle.  Many of my friends with kids the same age are already complaining that their kids don’t want to spend time with them….Sometimes I wish Manudo was more like that.  I swear that she follows me around like a shadow.  At least 10 times per day she bumps into me if I stop because she is constantly under-foot.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  This child is far from perfect.  I get eye-rolls, screams of  “You are so not fair” and other normal pre-teen angst from her.  But all in all, she is a fabulous daughter and an even more amazing young woman.  She has taught me that being a geeky nerd who never really fits in is Okay and to love myself a little bit more than I did before I met her.  I thought I was the one who is supposed to be teaching her life’s lessons.

Until next time,
Nic

Uncategorized

Autoimmune…..Or, Why is my own body trying to kill me????

Momginerd
Sorry Nic, your autoimmune system is shot

I have some serious issues with my autoimmune system.  It is like my body is Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles screaming “Aaaaaauuuuttoooooiiiimmmmmuuunnne” and then my body is the car he describes as destroying.  Here’s a clip for those of your born after 1980: Drunk as a Skunk (I highly recommend you watch this movie at least 500 times, preferably with your girl-friends and learn every single word).   I have issues with both my thyroid (Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis) and my joints (Rheumatoid Arthritis).  Basically, my life is a series of different “cocktails” of  medications to try and tell my autoimmune system to STFU.  And, unfortunately, these cocktails are not Mai Tais or Martinis.  They have side effects much worse than too many Hurricanes at Pat O’Briens in New Orleans, and don’t come with the fun of actually drinking said hurricanes and enjoying the nightlife in the French Quarter.  Instead my nightlife is more filled with the fun of “how many times will have to get up at night to go to the bathroom?”  And, “hmmmmm are those ACTUAL spiders crawling on my skin, or am I just bat shit crazy?”

My newest cocktail is 7 pills and a weekly self injection of a chemotherapy drug.  Oh yea, who wants to sign up for my kind of fun?  Nothing like sticking a big needle in your leg knowing it is going to make you feel like Hell for the next two days, am I right?  Then I get to have a nice purple bruise that is just starting to fade when I get to go through the fun ALL OVER AGAIN….every single Friday.  Whoo Hoo!  Let the weekend begin!

There is no fictional or non-fictional reading I do that scares the bejeezus out of me like reading all the warning labels on my meds.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I read:  This medication has SERIOUS side-effects, some of which can lead to DEATH….then there is this really small writing at the bottom that basically says that my doctor thinks it is okay to risk death, as long as I don’t actually die.  Headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fatigue, eye twitches, dry mouth, rashes, kidney failure, thinning corneas, hair loss, dry skin, etc are all acceptable.  My guess is if I did actually die, he probably wouldn’t give that prescription out anymore, but that is just a guess.  I actually asked him once if he has ever lost a patient to death from this cocktail.  His response?  “Not that I am aware, however, I have had some patients not return for follow-up appointments, I assume they got better.”  Um….think it is because they are DEAD, I asked? *insert sounds of crickets*  Then he responds, “Well you Engineers are always over thinking things, you always look for the statistics and want to know EVERYTHING.”  Needless to say, I am thinkingI am not his favorite patient, and I am guessing he could have given me a smaller needle size for the injection.  Next time, I will ask him ;-).


Okay, my needle isn’t that big, and I don’t look quite that crazed

 The best part of autoimmune diseases is that they are always hanging around like that Easter Egg that was lost under the couch….you never know when it is going to crack and then you will have to tear apart the entire house to find where the smell is coming from (true story).  I will go months and feel great, then the next day it is like a Mack truck drove through my bedroom with spiked snow tires, ran me over and then backed up to be sure it fully mangled my body.  The Cocktail is supposed to help stop that truck.  Fortunately, it does, for a while.  Unfortunately, your autoimmune system has the ability to become immune to cocktails, so you have to trick it with a new one.  Talk about irony, eh?  When this happens, it is back to the doc for a new cocktail, and a new set of “side effects” that may or may not kill me…Oh, and the process of determining the next cocktail involves lots of blood work, x-rays, MRI’s, cortisone shots (I had 2 in the soles of my feet most recently), and pinching/prodding.  I swear, I have been x-rayed and MRI’d so many times I should at least have some superpower like Spider Man or at the very least glow in the dark!

I am on week 3 and trip to the bathroom 1002 on my new cocktail.  The all mighty doctor said I have to give it at least 6 weeks to calm down the side-effects and know if this cocktail will work for me…..for awhile.

Until next time…I will be in the bathroom.

Nic

divorce, relationships

No, I am not your wife anymore….

Momginerd

My kids’ dad is still very much involved in their lives.  We share 50/50 custody, so we interact a lot.  A lot more than I would really like, but in the theme of “keeping the kids first” I always answer his calls and try to help him if he asks.  My Ex likes to think that since we once were married, I should still do lots of favors for him…NO not that kind of favors, step up to the gutter people! ;-).

For example:  He decided to get Lasik eye surgery.  Not that big of a deal, but then he thought it was appropriate to ask ME to take him to his appointment.  Um….really!?!   I would have had to take one of my few precious vacation days to do this and I have much better things to do with my vacation days.  I did, however, arrange for my uncle to take him.  And, because I still felt guilty for not taking him, I made him a home cooked dinner and delivered it to his house that evening (yeah, I know, I am enabling the behavior).

Not a single day goes by when he doesn’t call me at least 10 times to ask me something.  Sometimes they are important, like what exactly is it again that Bubbie is allergic to eating (yeah, you would think after 8 years he’d know what the kid can and can not eat, but I digress).  Other times it is stupid shit.  He literally called me 3 times once to ask directions to Manudo’s softball game.  Did I mention that I bought him a GPS one year for Father’s day?
Some of the other lovely things he calls about is to ask me to set him up with my friends.  Like I would do that?  He wasn’t a good enough husband to me to stayed married to, so why would I foist him off one one of my friends, I mean I actually LIKE most of my friends?  Now HH’s ex…that would be another story ;-).  He also thinks that I am his permanent babysitter.  Whenever he has a date, tickets to an event, golf game, hangnail, eye twitch or headache he thinks it is my job to take the kids.  Most of the time I welcome the extra time with them, but sometimes I actually have plans!  I mean, one of the benefits of sharing custody is that I actually can make plans sometimes without having to worry about hiring a babysitter.  He then likes to pull the guilt trip on me if I occasionally say no.  He will say: “but you are remarried so you have 2 adults to care for the kids….I am all alone.”  I want to say to him:  “Ever think you are all alone because you keep acting like you are still married to me?”  What lady would want to be with someone who can’t even remember how to get to his daughter’s softball game, at the same field she had just played at 2 days ago, without calling his Ex 3 times for directions?

His latest “favor” is asking me to plan a vacation for him.  He’d like me to make all the plans for him to take the kids on a vacation this Summer.  He said, and I quote: “you know what they like, here is my budget, just tell me where and when and I will take them.”  REALLY!  Like I want to plan some fantasmic vacation for YOU to get all the credit?  You know what they really like?  Going someplace and having to do lots of chores.  Let me know how that works out for you.

Now, as I said, 90% of the time I suck it up and help him out.  But some days, I just want to tell him to stick it up his arse.  I feel like I give, give, give, and 90% of the time he just takes.  On the rare occasion I will ask him to return a favor, he invariably says no because he is golfing, watching TV, picking his ass, or any other myriad of excuses.

At the end of the day, I just keep chanting this mantra:  It is for the kids, the kids appreciate that I help their dad out.

I know that one day the kids will know that even if I am the strict parent, I am the one that helped hold their lives together, especially their Dad’s.

I do have say that I am absolutely happy that my Ex is so involved with the kids, and he does try.  I would much prefer to have to schedule and run his life than have him abandon or miss out on time with the kids.  All in all, he is a great dad to them, he is just clueless about what is and is not appropriate to ask me.

Until next time!
Nic

Uncategorized

Working in a Gender Bending Role…….The Negatives

Momginerd

Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career.  Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.

1.  No, I am not an expert on ALL things female.  I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn’t prepared when you get home.  I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change.  Please talk to your wife, not me.  Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin’.

2.  The noises.  Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son.  Some of the doozies are:  Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying.  Farting, no definition required, I am sure.  Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted “coming back up.”  Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking….just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.

3.  The advice.  Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a “smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career.”
4.  The Nicknames.  Oh yeah, I have a few.  Some of them are mean, some are condescending and pretty much most of them are inappropriate.  I have been dubbed the Princess Bitch, Little Lady, Work Wife, Bossy Lady, Aggressive Wench….etc, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.  I would like to say that just because I am in charge, I am not a bitch.  I don’t hear you bitching about the Men who have similar expectations of you….my having female parts does not detract from the fact that I have a brain and I have earned my spot as a leader.  So, STFU and keep it to yourself.

5.  Did you know that if there is a woman in a generally all male workgroup it is the unspoken rule that said woman must organize all social events for the group?  She must remember all birthdays and arrange for any activities for the birthday?  She is also in charge of collecting and purchasing gifts for the group members’ wives who have children.  I did not realize that a vijayjay came with the unique ability to be the work wife of every person who works in my department!  Thanks….especially since when I was the one having the babies, nobody did jack shit.  I guess I should have purchased something for myself and then asked for donations and passed around my own card….Jackholes.

6.  Guilt.  I believe that when you work with all men, mommy guilt tends to be magnified.  Most of the men I work with when their kids are ill and unable to go to school their wives take care of them.  Well, I am the MOM and my kids want me when they are sick.  They also want me to go to their graduations, games and other activities that to me are more important than keeping a chair warm at my office.  I am mobile and always available via BlackBerry and laptop.  I am actually more productive from home as all my co-workers aren’t coming by to ask me about all their wives “womanly issues.”  However, it never fails that if I take time to do something for my kids, I get a snide comment from a co-worker the next day.

So, there are a few snippets of being a woman working in a Man’s world.  All in all, I enjoy it, but there are some days I want to just remind them of their manners and put them in time-out!

Until next time,
Nic

Uncategorized

Working in a gender bending role….The positives

Momginerd

This will be the first of a two part series.  Because I like to consider myself an optimist,  I am going to start with the positives :).

First a bit of background.  I am a manufacturing engineer and I work in a 2.5M square foot manufacturing facility.  I work for one of the Big 3 American Automotive companies.  Yes, there are other women who work in my plant, but the majority of them do not work in an engineering capacity.  There are many hardworking women working on the production line, a few work in Finance, and then there are a few who work in the Administrative role.  These are all very important jobs within my company, but are more stereotypically “female.”  Of the approximately 3,000 people employed at my plant, there are about 8 women in a “technical leadership role.” 

1. I ALWAYS look good.  Seriously, if you are a woman who is feeling down on yourself, consider a career change.  I never go at least one day where I am not cat-called, oogled, hit on, or otherwise made to feel like men find me attractive.  Of course, these are the SAME men that wouldn’t glance my way in a bar.  When compared to the competition in a plant, I AM the hot one, and frankly if feels good sometimes at my advanced maternal age.
2.  Just one of the guys.  After a while my breasts seem to lose their ability to make men check themselves in their manners.  At first when I started in this position, the “guys” would constantly be excusing themselves for swearing, putting down women, or otherwise just being men.  This may sound like a negative, but in actuality it is a good thing.  I get much more accomplished now that I am earning their respect for the quality of my work instead of the size of my bra. 

3.  Respect from folks outside of my plant.  I think that when acquaintances hear what I do for a career many of them are unnecessarily impressed.  In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t think it is that impressive.  I mean, at the end of the day, exactly WHAT I am doing at work really will not mean anything in the long run.  The fact that I am a divorced mother with 3 young children who have all thus far managed to not become derelicts and be placed in juvie, well that is impressive!

4.  I can hold my own in just about any situation.  I was blessed to have earned a fair amount of education and experience in the last 42 years of living.  Working in manufacturing has given me the opportunities to learn about a lot of things many women wouldn’t.  For example, HH and I are going to remodel our kitchen.  I have learned enough through my experiences that I feel confident in designing, planning, installing, and working on my own home.  Yeah, I know it makes you feel better that I am more concerned about engineering my own home than the car you drive your family around in daily.  The difference is, I have to LIVE in my kitchen daily, you, I may not even ever have to meet (just kidding, truly!). 

5.  I have a lot of male friends.  This is a good thing because even if I am totally not interested in any sporting/hunting/car racing/golfing/etc events I can discuss them with a level of intelligence as to not embarrass myself.  I gain these little tidbits through osmosis by having to hear the stats at the beginning and end of every meeting. 

6. Cutting through the bullshit.  Let’s face it, talking with men is a totally different dynamic than talking with women.  Women are about the details, men are about the facts, in most cases.  Through dealing with mostly men, I have gained the ability to listen to a topic and pick out the relevant parts of it quickly and succinctly.  Why is this a positive? Because, when dealing with teachers, coaches, kids, contractors, doctors, husbands (wink), etc, I can listen to what they say and then hone in on the main points quickly.  This speeds things up tremendously, and frankly I do not have the time to listen to long drawn out stories when I have exactly 23 minutes to feed 3 kids and cart them to 3 separate activities all while sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and managing both HH and my EX’s social calendars.

7.  The wardrobe.  I do not have to spend oodles of money on fancy clothes.  I wear basic pants, a blouse or a sweater, a blue supervisor’s jacket complete with my name and company logo embroidered on my breasts, steel-toed shoes, bright yellow hard hat, and safety glasses EVERY SINGLE working day.  And, because men or so fashionably clueless, I rotate the same 5 outfits every single week (yeah, I know I dress like that and #1 still applies!).  Of course, they still ARE men, so I do have one low cut blouse that I pull out if I really need to get a job done more quickly….works every time!  It’s funny how making the girls a little more perky can remind these guys that I am STILL a woman ;-).

All in all, I am fortunate that I have a good job that allows me to have a decent home, comfortable life, and lots of opportunities to learn!

Be looking for the not so positives in the near future!

Nic

relationships, women

I have Reverse Anorexia……..

Momginerd

So, on my Facebook page today a friend posted this ad from the Body Shop that was pulled after Barbie, INC threatened them:

It made me realize that even though I most likely look like this ad, or perhaps even worse, in my mind, I look more like this (but brunette):

Image result for heidi klum angel

My reverse anorexia (I THINK I am skinnier than I truly am) displays itself in numerous situations.  Here are a couple of examples.

1) I have dated and even married very handsome men in the past.    I mean they actually gets hit on all the time when we are together, so I can only imagine what happens when we are not…okay, I prefer to think my love turns into an ugly ogre when he is not in my presence, but that is probably NOT true.  Anyway, we go places and I am thinking in my head, “Oh I look so cute and my butt looks awesome in these jeans.”  Then we walk by a mirror and I am all like “Who is that fat chick with MY man?  Why is she holding his hand?  Doesn’t she see I am right here?”  Only to then realize that fat chick is me!  It is a complete moment of cognitive dissonance when that occurs.  I actually want to ask  if I really do look as fat as mirrors MAKE me look. But I don’t because I really don’t want to know the answer….because in my MIND there is no way that could be me, and it is the damn mirror’s fault for having some sort of freaky fun house effect that only reflects me like that but not my partner.

 

2) Shopping for clothes.  NOT fun with reverse anorexia, let me tell you.  I go to the rack and think I know my size, then I end up in the horrible mirrored room (and YES, I do believe those mirrors are rigged to make you look even fatter than you really are), and do some serious yoga type moves to wrestle my way into the clothes….only to have to do reverse yoga to get them back off again.  I treat it as exercise and feel after all that “yoga” I really do deserve a nice Mocha from Starbucks ;-), but then I won’t get that yummy mocha cuz one of my skinny friends told me it has more calories than a Big Mac.  Instead I go and purchase yet more spanx to ensure that the muffin remains contained in the pants I just bought 1 size too small because “I will be that size again soon.”

3) Friends who really are skinny….you suck.  Well, you probably don’t but every time I see one of my many fabulously thin and gorgeous friends I feel incredibly jealous and think they don’t eat or must exercise like crazy…only to go to lunch with them and watch them consume more calories in 1 meal than I allow myself to eat in a week….damn you, but I know you don’t mind when I sneak some of your fries ;-)!

4) Kids….Yes they do say that darnedest things.  I love my 3 munchkins, but Damn they know how to tweak a person’s sense of false reality.  Princepessa told me the other day, “I love hugging you mommy, you are sssssooooo squishy.”  Yeah, exactly not what I wanted to hear.

I go back and forth on this issue in my head.  I will be really good and do all that exercise crap, eat like a rabbit, give up my precious Merlot and drop 15 lbs…only to reward myself for all my hard work by picking those lbs right back up…on my ass.  *sigh*

So, if admitting your problem is half the cure, I am hoping by publicly admitting to my reverse anorexia I will either will myself thin, or just accept that I am an almost middle aged mother of 3 kids with a muffin top….wtith an added bonus of a totally hot husband who thinks I am gorgeous no matter what the label in my pants says.

Cheers!
Nic

parenting, women

Mortgage, Acne, ADHD, Dyslexia, etc…OH MY

Momginerd

Well, you can probably see by the title how my week is going…about as well as trying to roll a snowball uphill!  I am in the process of refinancing my house.  I love how the mortgage companies are all like: “Oh this will be SO easy, just fill out this form online and you will be *almost* done.”  Then you fill out the friggin’ form which takes 3 hours and find out that you will spend the next 10 days looking for shit documents you haven’t looked at for 5 or more years, answering the same questions on the phone to 10 different people, scurrying around trying to find a FAX machine…I mean really, who in the hell doesn’t accept documents via e-mail these days….and basically wishing you were happy with the crappy mortgage you already have.

My son, Bubbie, has severe ADHD…and it is not the ADHD that all teachers/parents give to “that” kid who is just annoying.  We are talking: 1,000,000 miles per minute thoughts, bouncing off the walls (I swear, the kid vibrates he has so much pent up energy), can’t remember anything longer than 2 seconds, ADHD.  We tried everything and finally decided better living through pharmacology isn’t always a bad thing and medicated him with Adderall.  In my house the adderall is called “Thank you all mighty all knowing wonderful Pfizer the maker of the drug that allows my child to learn.”  Unfortunately, now that he is actually able to stop the buzzing in his head long enough to learn, we found out that part of his issue is called Scotopic Sensory Syndrome.  SSS is a form of dyslexia and basically Bubbie sees and process images and text the same way most people do, but he has an execution issue when it comes to writing it down.  He has lots of letter reversals, sees text as jumping on the page, and can not copy anything down correctly.  He is reading (believe it or not) way beyond grade level, but can not spell, write sentences, grasp punctuation, and other mechanics of fine motor skills that normal 8 year olds can.  Now here’s the suckness of the situation….he is “on grade level” for all subjects which basically means he is not eligible for educational resources through the school district…yeah I know….Whuck?  Thankfully my lovely school is making accommodations for him, and we are hoping that he can learn coping skills and out grow the SSS.

Acne: a cross almost every woman has had to bear during her lifetime.  However, not a cross an 11 year old should have, right?  Manudo has some nasty ass looking acne on her forehead.  We have tried every product at CVS as well as many “suggestions” from friends…none worked.  Finally took her to the doctor and we are now trying some more majorly expensive stuff….crossing my fingers this works, cuz the poor kid just got glasses, needs braces in the next couple of months and is entering middle school (aka the biggest most awful horrible time to be a girl) in the Fall.  I think I will be preording some xanax now.

Oh, and Princepessa is a freaking THIEF!  Her kindy teacher called me and told me twice she has been caught trying to take things.  So now she is locked up in kiddy jail begging for her afternoon ration of milk and cookies (just kidding).

Merlot Take Me Away!!!!

NOW, please!

Until next time,
Nic

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Welcome!

Momginerd

This is my first attempt at Blogging, so please forgive me if I disappoint. I am a mom to 3 kiddos: Manudo who is 11 going on 21, Bubbie who is 8 and has dysexia and ADHD, and Princepessa who is 5 and well a princess (I MAY have changed some names to protect the innocent, lol). I am married to the love of my life HH (Hottie Husband). I am a Sr. Manufacturing Engineer at a major automotive company, even though I am unsure of if this is what I REALLY want to be doing. I believe I must have a bit of ADHD myself, as I am constantly on the look out for my next career adventure. I have a BA in Psychology, History and Education, an MA in Counseling, and an MS in Manufacturing Management…oh and a 6-Sigma Blackbelt (this is a total geeky engineering thing about streamlining processes).

I wanted to start a blog, because basically I am a total smartass and NEED an outlet that I can get out my snarkiness instead of saying it out loud places where it isn’t as much appreciated…say like to my boss, co-workres, kid’s teachers, my parents etc…..

Some of the things I believe I will be snarking on include working in a male dominated job, dealing with an Ex-husband (the father of my 3 kids) who still thinks I should run his life like I did when we were married, a new(er) husband with 3 special needs kids and a psycho ex-wife, my crazy yet hilarious children, my funny and intelligent friends, and basically anything that just pisses me off. I figure, “Hey! It’s MY blog, I can write about what I want ;-).”

So, watch this space for sarcasm, my opinions (which you probably won’t agree with, but that’s okay), and my rants!

Nic