Momginerd

I am small, but I will bite your ankles and bring you DOWN!

The following is a true story about my 8 year old son, Bubbie “the Crusher”. He plays junior league football and also is in cub scouts. He isn’t the greatest (by far) player on the team and is on the developmental squad. This basically means he plays a grand total of 10 plays per game. He practices 5 days per week for 2 hours per day…..for a total of 5 minutes playing time per game (the games last about 2.5 hours, you do the math). Oh, and bubbie is the smallest kid on the team. He weighs a whopping 50 lbs….the biggest kid weighs 117 lbs. WHUCK?!? Imagine Angry Birds….Imagine a 117 pound kid tackling your 50 LB kid….Bubbie is the bird and the ground is the green pig.

The other day it was Bubbie’s first day as a Bear Scout. He woke up that morning and was SO excited. This kid loves all things outdoors and knows just about every creepy fact one could ever want to, not want to, or even dream about knowing about bugs…..yeah, I know. Take this factoid, shared during dinner the other night:

“Mom, did you know a cockroach can live nine days without eating. This is also the same amount of time that the body of a cockroach can live after its head has been cut off before it eventually dies from starvation.” Um……I think I am done eating now. Thank you Bubbie for introducing a new diet trend: Gross mom out so she can’t eat. I am sure it will be all the rage.

So, cub scouts is a natural fit for him and something he has really been looking forward to doing this year. It just so happens that football also has practice on the same day….of course football has practice everyday, so it pretty much puts our lives in chaos for 4 months (Princepessa and Manudo are cheerleaders for the same league as well). Being the momginerd I am, I have read the rules and regulations for the league very thoroughly. These rules specifically state that a football player can miss up to 1 unexcused practice per week and not be punished by the coach or miss any game playing time (hahahah, if 5 whole minutes counts as playing time). Bubbie’s coach is a bit……..well…..let’s just say he is really in to coaching this team. Like when the kids (these are 8 and 9 year old BOYS) lost a game, he practiced them so hard over half of them were crying and/or puking the next day….nice. Anyway, the much anticipated day of cub scouts arrived and Bubbie proudly wore his den shirt to school and drove us all nuts asking questions about what we thought he’d learn that day. This is every mom’s dream! To have a kid actually excited about learning! Am I right?

That evening when I picked him up from the den meeting he was engrossed into reading his new book and was bursting with information and excitement about all the activities he’d be doing with his den and pack. It was also raining, torrentially. I gave him the choice, we can hurry home and change for football, or he could go home do his homework and we’d start working on one of his badge activities. To be fair, he does like football and hardly ever complains about going to practice. He was nervous about how Coach would react to his missing a practice. In my head I was thinking, “What is he going to do, make you play MORE as punishment?” When we walked to the car and needed bath towels to dry off he (smartly, in my opinion) decided to stay home where it was warm, dry, and not doing pushups in to the mud (okay, you caught me, I only make him do that when he really pisses me off).

The next day at practice the following conversation occurred between Bubbie and Coach:

Coach: Why weren’t you at practice yesterday?
Bubbie: I had cub scouts.
Coach: CUB SCOUTS!!!! What is more important around here, boy, Cub Scouts or FOOTBALL!
Bubbie: Cub Scouts, I actually get to participate in cub scouts.
Coach: *Crickets*

I never in my life wanted so badly to run up and give my kid a huge hug and a kiss in front of everyone. I did spare him the embarassment, but he got an extra big piece of homemade pie that night for dessert…just because.

Now before the flames start, I will say football has been a great experience for the Bubster. He may be small, but he has learned the value of effort over size, teamwork, tenacity, and keeping your head down so it doesn’t get ripped off.

Until next time,
Nic

P.S. Did you know you can follow me on twitter? Look to the right and click on the twitter icon! I also have a momginerd facebook page find it here: Momginerd Facebook Page!

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Welcome to the Geekside

October 3, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Steve Jobs via Apple’s Ad campaign said it best:

To all you non-conformists, wierdos, nerds, geeks, techno-dweebs, oddballs, freaks, and crazies, I love you…keep up the good work because you are the ones who will one day change the world. When you look back through history at the “change makers” who do you think of? I think of people who did not just sit down and shut up, they stood up and SCREAMED their outrage. They didn’t listen to the nay-sayers that said “it couldn’t be done.” They proved them wrong in the face of all adversity…even when they may have thought deep down in their hearts that perhaps they couldn’t, they did not quit.

I invite all of you to be a geek, an oddball, a freak or a nerd. Come on over, the conversation is always stimulating and some of us are even a slight bit funny!

Nic

P.S. We usually have cool gadgets and good advice on how to fix your computer, program your remote, and knowledge of other esoteric things you may be curious about!

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Three legs of a healthy relationship

September 28, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Warning! This will not by a typical Momginerd blog with lots of sarcasm and humor, but I do still think it has a lot of good messages to share.

When my relationships start to falter, I spend a lot of time reflecting on what went wrong and why. I came up with an analogy to a 3-legged stool that I think are the basics of a healthy, long term, and happy relationship.

When you just don’t
care enough to care

Emotional: You need to have an emotional connection to your partner. By this, I mean you need to feel about your partner’s happiness, in many ways, more than you do about your own. If your partner is unhappy, then you will be too. If your partner is happy then you feel better as well. When you have an emotional connection with someone it is almost like you are linked metaphysically. Their emotions have a direct effect on your own. By having the emotional connection to each other you are more in tune in many ways to the non-verbal cues that they are offering. When you don’t have that connection, you are clueless as to how they feel and it can lead to feelings of apathy towards each other. When you feel apathetic towards your partner, I think, it is the beginning of the end. You have lost all emotional connection and you just don’t care enough anymore to try and get it back.

Physical: Well, this one should be pretty self-explanatory. You MUST be attracted to your partner. And by attracted I mean more than just the feelings of lust you have at the beginning of a relationship. Sure, that is physical and is important, but it really doesn’t last if there aren’t more things you find are attractive about your partner than the color of their eyes or hair or if they have an incredible body. To me the physical goes beyond the immediate lust to the little things that makes my partner irresistible to me. The twinkle in his eye when he gets my jokes. The smile that he reserves ONLY for me that tells me in one instant I am the woman for him, he loves and adores me despite my numerous flaws. But, at the end of the day a partner’s actual physical appearance from afar isn’t the most important thing to me.

Intellectual: By intellectual I do not mean to imply that your partner needs to have an IQ above 140, or even that both partners have to have matching intelligence and educational levels. I mean that you have to be able to connect with your partner in an intellectual way. You need to be able to communicate your feelings/thoughts/issues/problems in a way you can both understand. If you can’t have a conversation about a topic you care about with your partner, then it is very difficult to accomplish many other tasks in a relationship. Intellectual compatibility is SO important when it comes to family decisions on how to raise your children, how to manage finances, and long term goal planning. You don’t have to AGREE, you just have to be able to value the differences and see them as strengths. I believe there has to be a coming of the minds so that when one has an important issue that the other one understands exactly what the issue is and that you work as a partnership to fix the problem. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in the concept of a “perfect couple.” Most have had bad relationships in the past and I believe you have to put the utmost importance on communication. There will be certain topics (Ex’s, kids, politics) that you may not see eye to eye, but, a true partnership works to find and accept the good in both the things you agree on and, more so, the ones you disagree on. Take the time to LISTEN actively, and you may find sound logic for your partner’s positions.

Intellectual compatibility is also tied with empathy towards each other. Empathy only comes when one can truly understand how and why their partner feels certain ways about different topics. My personal cross to bear is making sure that I place the same value on my partners issues/concerns as he does. For example, I am used to doing 1000 different things per day, most of them all at the same time. On the other hand, a potential partner may like to accomplish one task and move on to the next. I have to be cognizant of how my partner may think and not add to his stress by constant bitching and offering up “solutions” to what I perceive as his issues. You see, to him this may not be an issue it is just who he is as a person. And yes, it probably would drive me nuts and I may have to take a step back and realize he is the sum of all of the things I love about him, not just the pieces I want to change.

I 100% believe that when a relationship has all three legs, and all three are strong, that the relationship can last a life-time. When you are missing one of the legs, or that part of the relationship breaks, you end up either living in an apathetic relationship or you go your separate ways.

This is my goal, a love to last a lifetime

Like I said, I am not a relationship expert, and I don’t even play on on TV, however this is how I feel and think. What do you think? Am I off base? What have been your past experiences?

Making divorce with kids involved work….sort of…..

September 21, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Lately I have been getting a few questions from colleagues and friends as to just how I make my divorce work. And eventhought Divorce and Making Things Work seems to be dichotomus, I thought I’d share some of the strategies that I have chosen to use and, thankfully, Ex follows along (if only he was so ammendable when we were married!).

1. Keep the kids first

Whenever I am deciding on a schedule change for the kids, personal decisions relating to my career, vacations, meal planning, etc I ALWAYS think of the kids first. If this change or decision would add undue stress to their schedules of lives, I just do not do it, or I change my plans. Even though I am remarried, HH is perfectly clear and understanding that the kids come first, and he, poor soul is a distant 4th.

2. Communicate, communicate, communicate

We use ALL these and more to keep
try and keep in touch, it seems.

Ex and I communicate every.single.mother.furking.day. Seriously! We either text, phone or email daily updates about the kids at least once a day. Some days, it seems like I talk to my Ex more than I talk to HH. I will admit, when we were in the process of getting divorced this communication wasn’t always pleasant or positive. It took time, energy, patience and dedication to strategy #1 for us both to make it work. I automatically forward every email/text I receive dealing with any of the kids school/social/athletic events. I will also Text and/or call Ex to REMIND him of events and exactly what is required for said event (special shirt, $$, gear, etc). It takes a lot of time, energy and patience, but it makes #1 work better…at the end of the day my mantra is “It is for the kids, if they are happy, I am happy.”

3. Agree to disagree

Ex and I definitely have different ideas on raising kids, morals, religion, etc. If we didn’t then we most likely would not be Exes. We finally came to a point about 6 months after our divorce was finalized that we agreed to disagree. This means that sometimes he makes decisions I don’t agree with (like having a babysitter for the kids almost every weekend he has them), but I do my best to keep my $.02 to myself about his decisions. He does the same for me, although he has little to complain about since I am so perfect ;-).

4. Let go and FORGIVE

OMG! They are KISSING
AGAIN!!!!!

No matter the circumstances that led to the end of your marriage you must learn to forgive your ex and more importantly, yourself. There can never be the end of a relationship that resulted in children when both parties do not feel some sort of guilt. Learning to forgive yourself and your ex will allow you to move on and become a better parent. Most folks had NO clue that Ex and I were going to get a divorce…until we did. We didn’t fight, we didn’t argue….we also didn’t love each other anymore. We were two people living separate lives in the same house. We do more together NOW than we did when we were married. I felt SO guilty about “breaking up my family and doing this to my kids.” I finally forgave myself when I realized that the marriage I had was NOT the example I wanted to set forth for my kids of a healthy adult relationship.

Until next time,

Nic

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Have some self respect already!

September 8, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I wouldn’t exactly call myself a feminist. I mean, I like being treated like a lady, having my door opened, being wooed as much as the next woman. However, perhaps because of my career (Engineer in manufacturing for any newbies to the site), I have a different perspective on the line between being a bra burning feminist and a lady. I also think that because I work in a male dominated (and lets face it, a better description is meathead dominated) job, I have developed dos and don’ts for how I handle myself and what I think (no, you don’t have to think like I do) is appropriate clothing for girls and women in public (what you all do in your own homes is your business!).

WHUCK?!?!?

For example, I do not think it is appropriate for young ladies to wear see-through shirts, daisy duke shorts, high heels, or thong underwear…all of which I saw with advertising targeted towards my 7th grade daughter while back to school shopping. It is not in my goals as a parent to teach my child to look like a whore…ever. Of course, I am in the minority in that my almost 12 year old is one of the few girls in her school that do not go to class with full-on make up either. I am fine with it…Manudo, hasn’t complained too much yet, but I plan on using the “When I was growing up….” explanation cuz we all know kids LOVE that one!

I also think it is inappropriate for adult women (and I use this term loosely) to wear clothing that is gender degrading. Why in the world would a grown woman want to walk around wearing a Hooter’s T-shirt, or even worse one from Playboy or Hustler? Especially when all of those built their MALE owned companies based on the objectification of women and their bodies. And before you ask, No, I haven’t had the wings, and I don’t care if they give me 3 minutes in heaven, you cannot tell me that most of the people who go there are going for the wings and not the, well, hooters. I am sure these are the same people who claim they read playboy and hustler for the “intellectually” stimulating articles….These people think women are here not only to be objectified but that they are dumb too!

However, I guess if your life’s goal as a woman is to have men stare at your boobs all day by choice then you are being successful. Bravo! Let me know how that works for you when your boobs are closer to your knees and you haven’t learned to get men to look you in the eye when talking to you.

I also believe that as a mom it is my job to teach both my daughters and even more importantly my son to respect women. Why is it that we all want our sons to be mommy’s boy, but then society is okay with said son becoming a person who disrespects woman (and by association their mothers) once they grow a few hairs you know where? Isn’t it important for our sons to think of women as smart, independent, and valuable life partners? Isn’t it important to teach our daughters to love their female friends and respect them? I am so upset by all the girl to girl bullying these days. It is bad enough that young girls have to compete with society’s vision of how they should look/act/dress, but to have to compete with their own female peers is just horrible.

Men, women, girls, boys, we all need to realize that women aren’t going anywhere, especially not back to heels and aprons and thinking that we are only as valuable as the men who care for us. All women deserve respect especially from themselves!

That’s not a smile, it is a grimace cuz her
feet are KILLING her!

Rant over…..for now!

Nic

parenting

Here is my take on the different types of Adults in America

August 30, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

In America there are many different groups of “Adults.” These can be broken down into distinct categories, each with their own unique features.

Here is how I see them:

1. DINKs (Dual income, no kids): These are the people who have worked hard at their careers and have decided either by choice or circumstance not to have kids. To those of us with kids, these people live the high life. They tend to have fancy toys, go on vacations, have no clue about that particular torture other parents call “kid(s) in team sports”, or limitations on spending money. I have some of these friends, and I can honestly say I am jealous of their lifestyle. When my other parented friends discuss this we always go back to the “Oh well, we can do that when the kids are grown.” The failing I find in that logic is, I will OLD when my kids are grown. Will I really WANT a camper, boat, big house, huge yard, cottage, etc when I am in my 60’s?

2. Partnered Parents with 1 kid: I like to call these parents “Practice Parents.” When you have only one child you are really not that inconvenienced. 1 kid is portable and shareable. Each parent can have equal share (even though most times we know Mom’s do most of the work). If one parent has something they’d like to do, it isn’t too big of a deal for the other to keep the child occupied. It is also easy to hire a babysitter or ask a family member to keep one child. Start adding complexity to the equation, and your social life ends. Most of my friends with one child still seem to lead pretty fun lives. Their Facebook pages claim they are going on vacations, many have boats, cottages, etc. I know when I only had one, I pretty much did everything I wanted to do…I just brought Manudo with me…she was portable like that.

3. Parents with 2 kids: These are the justice scale parents. They either have 1 kid for each hand, or divide the kids up equally between the parents. Extra lucky are the parents that get one kid of each sex. Then they can divide by gender and everyone is happy! It is still somewhat feasible to ask a family member to watch them so you and your partner can have some alone time…just don’t do it too often, as that leads to:

Oh look, mommy and daddy were busy with 2 of the 3 kids!

4. Parents with 3 or more kids: These are the adults that are frazzled ALL THE TIME. When you have 3 or more kids you never have enough hours in the day, money in the bank, or hands to keep them all in line. For some reason adding that 3rd (and subsequent) child will turn your household into a war-zone. Why is it that if I take any one of my kids out of the equation the other two will get along and not fight at all? As soon as the 3rd returns from wherever they have been, all hell breaks loose! Parents with 3 or more kids also find it is more difficult to do things as a family…there is no more “pairing off” as 1 child will always be free to cause chaos upon the world. 3 or more kids is especially “fun” when they all have to go to the restroom and there is only 1 parent around. At what age is is inappropriate for me to force my son to go to the ladies room cuz the girls have to go? Am I supposed to just leave him out in the restaurant to his own devices?

Image result for single parent 4. Single parents: These folks are SAINTS and SUPERHEROS! I have been there and it was extremely trying, difficult, and many times overwhelming. No matter HOW many kids single parents have, it is always difficult. Add more than 1 and your life becomes ruled by the laws of fairness and your brain becomes fixated on technology for cloning. How the heck is a person supposed to work and get 3 kids to 3 different activities, all the while planning nutritious meals and helping with homework? At some point, a single parent learns a lesson that many paired parents do not figure out until their kids hammer it into their brains during the horrid “I hate my parents” teenage years. This lesson is: We are not perfect, we will make mistakes, and worst of all we will disappoint the little people in our lives who used to think we are perfect. That look in your child’s eyes the first time you forget to pack the permission slip or are late to pick them up after school is heartbreaking for every parent. I think the Single parents feel it to a higher degree because they feel like they have to be even more perfect than their peers who have partners. I mean at least partnered parents have someone else to blame, am I right?

Which kind of Adult are you? What are some of the challenges I have missed? What do you love most about the life you are living with or without kids?

Until next time,

Nic

home improvement, relationships

9 Circles of Hell Kitchen Remodel, pt. 3

August 19, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

For those of you behind….come on already, keep up! Just kidding…Here is Part 1 of the saga, and for your continued amusement at our expense you can read Part 2.

Circle 7: Violence
Oh heck yeah, remodeling a Kitchen is nothing if not violent. You should have seen the glee in the eyes of the kids when I said: “Oh you want to hit your sister? Here’s a hammer, go hit the nasty cabinets instead!” Those kids were all about violently beating the crap out my old kitchen like stink is on you-know-what! I will say they did a fantastic job of tearing everything apart….why am I not surprised? I guess I should have looked in their rooms more frequently, as after a month of me being distracted by said kitchen their rooms pretty much resemble the demolished kitchen too.

Of course, when violence is involved, it doesn’t seem to limit itself to inanimate objects. Take this lovely picture of me, for example:

Vice grips -v- Thumb…Vice Grips WIN!

I was pulling nails out of the baseboards with a pair of torture implements from the early 1900’s vice grips when the hook and eye type closure decided to latch….right on my thumb. I had a VERY attractive blood blister for about a month.

HH and I would spend our 20 minutes we took before collapsing asleep in exhaustion at night taking inventory of the day’s battle scars. We combined had a total of 9 head bumps, 3 lacerations, 1 million bruises, 1 pulled bicep, 2 swollen wrists, 10 nail puncture wounds (yes we checked and we were both up to date on our tetanus shots), and various other injuries. In the war of the Kitchen -v- Us, I’d say the kitchen won most of the battles.

In the end we did end up winning the war by getting the old kitchen to relinquish its dominance over our home, and we celebrated greatly…for 5 minutes…before we passed out in exhaustion.

Take that you old ugly kitchen. We win, you are going
to the landfill…right where you belong!

Circle 8: Fraud
Oh yeah! This circle was probably the hardest for a couple of nerdy geeks to accept. I mean, we spend our lives deciphering the B.S. from the truth statistically (yes, 90% of it really is B.S. too). Our acquiescence to being frauded came mostly from the web, instruction manuals, and other people who claimed to be PROFESSIONALS!

We would wonder how to put in a 3 way switch for a light fixture….being nerds, we turned to the almighty Google for the answer. Those search engines are EVIL as well as fraudulent! We looked at this one page from an electrician and the title was “Putting in a 3 way switch is so easy a blind monkey can do it.” Being neither blind nor monkeys we figured “no problem!” Well….2 hours and 20 combinations of Black-White-White-Green wires later we felt like this :

Blind and NO thumbs…Doh!

Then there were the “experts.” These folks must have gotten some really great laughs at my expense. We’d go to the Orange Box From Hell (OBFH) store and ask a question…they’d give us an answer that basically made me feel like an for not figuring it out…you know the “Oh that’s so easy, you should be embarrassed for even asking that” type of response. We’d get home and try to replicate what they said only to find out 1. They told me wrong (probably on purpose, EVIL Frauds!), or 2. the tool they told me would work fine for the job actually did not so I’d have to go back to the OBFH store and spend more $$$ there. I swear, my paycheck for the next 6 months is just signed over to the OBFH.

Nicism….every project you do takes twice as long as you think and costs 3 times as much money.

Manuals…..what a joke. Those damn things should have a warning on them! Part A does not fit in Part B, and how about including all the damn parts next time???

Circle 9: Traitors

We like to call the traitors, vendors. These are the folks who promise something will be delivered on a certain date, but then don’t show up or call. Or the “nice people” who PROMISE that they are the best and have the most awesome customer service…until they get your money! We had a delivery company put a ding in our brand new refrigerator. When I called them (before the check cleared, I may add) they were all like: Oh momginerd, we are SO sorry, we will be sending out someone to look at that right away, we pride ourselves on our customer service!” Ironically the check cleared the next day and we are still waiting for our replacement door….3 weeks later!

All in all, I am proud of my accomplishment. The Kitchen isn’t perfect, but it is 10000% better than the 1970’s special we had before. We went from avocado appliances to stainless….boring white walls with 8 cabinets on soffits to 28 new cabinets and gorgeous Canyon Sunrise walls.

Will I ever do a project of this magnitude again….HELL no!

Till next time,

Nic

home improvement, relationships

Kitchen Remodel Circles of Hell, pt 2

August 16, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

As we continued on our Kitchen remodel, we continued to fall through the mythical Circles. For those of you new to the blog, check out pt. 1 here: Kitchen Remodel Circles of Hell, pt

If only I had THIS bed!

Circle 4: Hoarder and Spendthrifts
Yes, we became bi-polars who constantly went over and over through this circle. While sitting with the Kitchen Designer she informed us: If you spend $120 more, you will get $500 off! She was a cruel mistress that lady! HH and I were like, “Yippee! Spice rack, built in trash, and other thingamagiggies we don’t need here we come!”

Then, when it came to times we REALLY needed something, we would be cheap. We’d be making modifications to a 2×4 that took 2.5 hours instead of spending $8 on a 2×6! At our combined hourly rates that 2×6 cost us about $100! BUT….when you are in full-on home improvement mode, you think a penny saved is a penny earned. When in all actuality a penny saved is a thousand pennies flushed down the drain. That is a Nicism when it comes to projects!

Circle 5: The Wrathful and the Sullen
This circle is one of the worst experiences, because when you are doing a project of this intensity with your partner, one of you is the wrathful and the other is always the sullen. Both of us worked full-time while doing this project….fortunately he gets to work at home quite often…me not so much. So, we would be having lots of “discussions” over who did what, who sweated more, who was more sore, who was the bigger Pain in the Ass, etc. Then, we would both switch roles the next day. I’d take a vacation day to paint while he worked (at home, on the couch, drinking coffee, I’d like to add). I would become wrathful that I was sweating my a$$ off, and he would become sullen because he really DID have to work.

Let’s just say we more resembled this:

Than this:

Cirlcle 6: The Heretics

Oh yes, those darn Heretics! They were the ones who said “you guys can’t do that!” Who doubted our tenacity, knowledge, strength and integrity. To all of them I say:

Booyah!

All we need are our Contertops, but OUR portion is done

And, TAKE That!

There used to be a window where the Stove is

Perhaps I am going to be residing in the circle of PRIDE, because if nothing else, we did it and to us it looks great. Better yet, we did it and we are STILL married!

I will say that I used to be a big time perfectionist. Doing a home project like this will change you…I am now all about “It looks pretty damn good” and that is okay!

Pt. 3 coming soon!

Nic

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My 9 Circles of Hell Summer Remodeling my Kitchen Pt. 1 of 3

August 3, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I have been living through the 9 circles of Hell this summer, and I am not even speaking of how HOT it has been. You see, I decided that I am smart enough, strong enough, and yes just that GOOD enough to remodel our kitchen from the floorboards to the wall studs all by ourselves with minimal labor/help from anyone else. There are many lessons we learned about ourselves and each other throughout this journey, and baby, not all of them were good! Most importantly, I learned the value of working hard and making a lot of money so that I can hire someone else to do this work for me in the future!

So, exactly how is remodeling a kitchen the equivalent of living through the 9 Circles of Hell you may be asking?

Let me break it down:

Circle 1 Limbo

When living without a functioning kitchen for 6 weeks you really feel like your life is in limbo. And by limbo, I don’t mean the dancing kind.

If only it were this much fun!

I mean the kind where you never know up from down, right from left or right from wrong! For example, is it really all that wrong to write “messages” to any future homeowners behind the cabinets where they will only be seen if they decide to be disrespectful and tear out all my blood, sweat and tears hard work?

GOOD luck, cuz this kitchen has no even walls or floors!

Circle 2 The Lustful
Let me stop you…no I don’t mean the lustful as in “Hey baby, come on over here for some somthin’ somthin’!” kind of lustful. It is the lustful kind that means more of a Veruca Salt type of lust.

I want my fancy spice rack and
I want it NOW!!!

There is nothing that creates lust in my heart more than looking through hundreds of Kitchen Design magazines and seeing all the cool gadgets. I am a nerd like that. If there is a gadget that makes potatoes into curly fries, I want it…even though I don’t eat fries. I feel there can never be enough gadgets in the world…especially the electronic types.

Circle 3 The Gluttonous

NOT HH, but his is what he looked like
having REAL food for a change.

Reason would ascertain that living without a kitchen would make one less gluttonous, but I beg to differ. I am an avid cook and prior to the fateful day of June 28, 2011 my family probably ate restaurant or take-out food about once per month. I am the type of anal retentive Good Mom that almost always plans a weekly menu filled with a variety of healthy and mostly delicious meals for my family. We belong to an organic food co-op and eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit….especially in the summer. This summer, our diet has consisted of things I put in the microwave, crock-pot or on the grill. Did I mention that WE were doing the entire remodel ourselves while working full time? I was/am exhausted too! So, let’s just be honest and say my kidlets have eaten more than their fair share of pizza, Taco Bell, hot dogs, and burgers this summer with not too many balanced meals (read, not many fresh veggies/fruit) as an added bonus. Also, my sanctified family dinner time has gone down the tubes too. We have what is charmingly called a country kitchen. Basically this mean our postage stamp sized house has a huge kitchen and NO dining room. Since it has been so hot, the kids have been eating in the basement in front of the TV every single meal, every single day because it has been 10000 degrees with 1000% humidity all Summer long. You know it is bad when a family member takes pity and brings a home cooked meal and we ALL attacked it like a crack addict getting a fix. We ate every single morsel she brought still warm from her kitchen and Princepessa even was caught licking the gravy off her plate….Yes, that was a VERY gluttonous day! Most of our family conversations these days have been centered on the discussion of what meal we will make in our new glorious kitchen when it is finally finished. Like I am going to mess it up right after all this hard work.

Pts 2 and 3 coming soon! I will also include some pictures if y’all would like. I charge $500/hr for design and installation ;-).

Uncategorized

The Princepessa is six going on sixteen!

July 19, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Even though I like to eat cavegirl style,
I am a GIRLY girl!

This is my Princepessa. 6 years ago today she entered the world charming me, our doula, her dad and the entire hospital staff with her perfectness…she continues her journey of charming almost all who meet her daily. She is the most social of my 3 kids as well as being the most outgoing. She also has a killer sense of humor!

Here are some snippets of conversations either heard or relayed that Princepessa has had:

1. At 3 years old Princepessa was in a daycare. She had fallen and hit her head. The policy of the school is to call whenever any type of injury occurs involving the head. The teacher took her in to the office to make the call. While I was speaking with her teacher, Princepessa had the following discussion with the administrative assistant of the school:

P: You are very beautiful Ms. B.
Ms. B: Thank you P.
P: Ms. B, Why are your boobies so big?
Ms. B: Because that’s the way God made them.
P: After thinking about it for a while responds, “Well you must have been a really good angel before you were born for God to give you those boobies, they are VERY nice!”

2. Our Nanny, aka the kind woman who keeps me sane, took Princepessa and her siblings swimming this Summer at a friend’s house. Nanny’s friend is this gorgeous Chaldean girl with this beautifully bronze skin. P asked her if she had been tanning. The kind lady explained that no, she was born with darker skin. Princepessa responded, “Well your mommy must have had a sunlamp in her tummy for you to have such tan skin!”

3. On my recent birthday we had the following conversation:
P: Happy Birthday Mommy! You are the most gorgeous mommy in the whole universe. You are better than a Princess, you are the Queen of all beautiful mommies!”
Me: Thanks! I love you so much, I think you are the sweetest little girl in the whole universe!
P: I love you so much that when you die, I am coming to your memorial service and then every single year I will go to your grave and put flowers on it!
Me: That would be nice, but could we please not discuss my dying on my birthday?
P: Well, did you know that if you live to be 100 years old the President will call you on your birthday? How many more years will that be for you, mommy?
Me: 48
P: Well…….oh…….that’s a long time…..but, I will put flowers on your grave every year.

Not only is the precious child precocious, she is also very smart and very artistic. She is the kind of kid that will sit for hours and hours completing art projects. All of which are “Special” and must be hung up and are dedicated to me, her “most awesomist mom in the world.” HOWEVER, she cannot focus long enough to remember to flush the toilet!

I bet even this can can remember to flush, but
Princepessa always forgets!

She is the ultimate girly girl, which I think is one of the things that proves to me God has a sense of humor. I am about as girly as a lumberjack. For her birthday these are her top items on her list: Glitter make-up, nail polish, diamonds, rubies, all day spa trip, and high heeled shoes……PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW! I had to break her heart and tell her that she has caviar taste on a hot dog budget…..Then she added caviar to her wish list!

Hello! I am P’s new best friend!

Princepessa has never met a stranger. In fact she has never met an acquaintance. All new people are her new BFF’s. She HUGS everyone, and I mean everyone she meets. This is all cute and adorable on TV, but not so much when you are her mother and it is your job to keep her safe from the creepy people in the world. I am constantly reminding her that if she doesn’t know the person’s name, chances are they are strangers. She will then proceed to introduce herself, so that they can be new BFF’s and she can hug them. *sigh* I have been castigated by strangers for not teaching her “stranger danger” I kid you not! I always respond by letting them know that they are more than welcomed to buy her on eBay and teach her themselves. She is currently listed at $1B…any takers?

Until next time!
Nic