Category: women

Aging, relationships, women

The Unexpected Joy of Aging

Momginerd

aging

 

Aging happens, and should be a goal not seen as a punishment.  If you are lucky enough to be considered “old” then you have lived, which is WAY better than the alternative….

 

I have had a love/hate relationship with aging over the years.  In some ways I look resentfully in the mirror and see glimmers of the young hard-bodied woman I was.  I remember having a flat stomach, no gray hairs or lines on my face.  But, then I stop and think about the young woman I was.  For as cute as I may have been back then, I didn’t know it.  I didn’t appreciate it.  I didn’t believe it.

The curse of youth is we don’t appreciate it until we are too old to live it fully.  The tireless levels of energy, no creaky joints screaming protest at activities that were easy and effortless, the firm muscles that actually responded to the gym, and the carefree living of the first tastes of freedom with minimal debt, responsibility or stress.

As I see the big 5-0 approaching on the horizon, I have become reflective of my self-esteem and self-value, and I wouldn’t go back to the woman I was in those days.  I truly love the woman I have become.  I am happy.  What 25 year old woman feels confident in her body, mind and soul?  Not many I have met!

I have my opinions and thoughts and do not feel compelled to apologize for them anymore.  I do not live my life to an expectation of how I am seen by others, but live it to how I want to SEE MYSELF.  There is a huge and very important difference in those.

My youth taught me many lessons: some good, some bad…but they all were integral to my learning me.

Here is what I have learned about myself:

1. I love wholly and un-apologetically.  Yes I have been hurt, damaged and sometimes broken.  But, I wouldn’t change that part of myself despite the chances of future hurts.  I prefer to live, give love, and appreciate the small moments of joy and try not to worry about the “what ifs.”

Image result for funny old woman

2.  Life is funny!  Look for the joy in the every single day.  It doesn’t have to be  momentous, just something as simple as a funny thing your child says, or, for me, some awkward moment that would have embarrassed me in my youth, but now can bring me to tears of laughter.  I have a running joke with my girlfriends: Days without spilling something on my boobs.  I send pictures of the daily spillage, and we all laugh. My record is 3 days.Image may contain: one or more people and closeup

 

3.  Life is SHORT!

Grab that it by the tail and hang on for the ride.  Too soon you won’t be able to really embrace all the opportunities.  I do not want to live a life of regret.  Hell, when I die I want my friends and family to have a party and remember me as I am now.  I want them to say: she lived, she loved and she laughed, a lot!  When that special person says that they think you are attractive, believe them.  Because as we age, we also don’t have time for bullshit and generally mean what we say.

Image result for funny gravestone quotes

Until next time,

Enjoy the Ride my friends!

Nic

relationships, women

I have Reverse Anorexia……..

Momginerd

So, on my Facebook page today a friend posted this ad from the Body Shop that was pulled after Barbie, INC threatened them:

It made me realize that even though I most likely look like this ad, or perhaps even worse, in my mind, I look more like this (but brunette):

Image result for heidi klum angel

My reverse anorexia (I THINK I am skinnier than I truly am) displays itself in numerous situations.  Here are a couple of examples.

1) I have dated and even married very handsome men in the past.    I mean they actually gets hit on all the time when we are together, so I can only imagine what happens when we are not…okay, I prefer to think my love turns into an ugly ogre when he is not in my presence, but that is probably NOT true.  Anyway, we go places and I am thinking in my head, “Oh I look so cute and my butt looks awesome in these jeans.”  Then we walk by a mirror and I am all like “Who is that fat chick with MY man?  Why is she holding his hand?  Doesn’t she see I am right here?”  Only to then realize that fat chick is me!  It is a complete moment of cognitive dissonance when that occurs.  I actually want to ask  if I really do look as fat as mirrors MAKE me look. But I don’t because I really don’t want to know the answer….because in my MIND there is no way that could be me, and it is the damn mirror’s fault for having some sort of freaky fun house effect that only reflects me like that but not my partner.

 

2) Shopping for clothes.  NOT fun with reverse anorexia, let me tell you.  I go to the rack and think I know my size, then I end up in the horrible mirrored room (and YES, I do believe those mirrors are rigged to make you look even fatter than you really are), and do some serious yoga type moves to wrestle my way into the clothes….only to have to do reverse yoga to get them back off again.  I treat it as exercise and feel after all that “yoga” I really do deserve a nice Mocha from Starbucks ;-), but then I won’t get that yummy mocha cuz one of my skinny friends told me it has more calories than a Big Mac.  Instead I go and purchase yet more spanx to ensure that the muffin remains contained in the pants I just bought 1 size too small because “I will be that size again soon.”

3) Friends who really are skinny….you suck.  Well, you probably don’t but every time I see one of my many fabulously thin and gorgeous friends I feel incredibly jealous and think they don’t eat or must exercise like crazy…only to go to lunch with them and watch them consume more calories in 1 meal than I allow myself to eat in a week….damn you, but I know you don’t mind when I sneak some of your fries ;-)!

4) Kids….Yes they do say that darnedest things.  I love my 3 munchkins, but Damn they know how to tweak a person’s sense of false reality.  Princepessa told me the other day, “I love hugging you mommy, you are sssssooooo squishy.”  Yeah, exactly not what I wanted to hear.

I go back and forth on this issue in my head.  I will be really good and do all that exercise crap, eat like a rabbit, give up my precious Merlot and drop 15 lbs…only to reward myself for all my hard work by picking those lbs right back up…on my ass.  *sigh*

So, if admitting your problem is half the cure, I am hoping by publicly admitting to my reverse anorexia I will either will myself thin, or just accept that I am an almost middle aged mother of 3 kids with a muffin top….wtith an added bonus of a totally hot husband who thinks I am gorgeous no matter what the label in my pants says.

Cheers!
Nic

parenting, women

Mortgage, Acne, ADHD, Dyslexia, etc…OH MY

Momginerd

Well, you can probably see by the title how my week is going…about as well as trying to roll a snowball uphill!  I am in the process of refinancing my house.  I love how the mortgage companies are all like: “Oh this will be SO easy, just fill out this form online and you will be *almost* done.”  Then you fill out the friggin’ form which takes 3 hours and find out that you will spend the next 10 days looking for shit documents you haven’t looked at for 5 or more years, answering the same questions on the phone to 10 different people, scurrying around trying to find a FAX machine…I mean really, who in the hell doesn’t accept documents via e-mail these days….and basically wishing you were happy with the crappy mortgage you already have.

My son, Bubbie, has severe ADHD…and it is not the ADHD that all teachers/parents give to “that” kid who is just annoying.  We are talking: 1,000,000 miles per minute thoughts, bouncing off the walls (I swear, the kid vibrates he has so much pent up energy), can’t remember anything longer than 2 seconds, ADHD.  We tried everything and finally decided better living through pharmacology isn’t always a bad thing and medicated him with Adderall.  In my house the adderall is called “Thank you all mighty all knowing wonderful Pfizer the maker of the drug that allows my child to learn.”  Unfortunately, now that he is actually able to stop the buzzing in his head long enough to learn, we found out that part of his issue is called Scotopic Sensory Syndrome.  SSS is a form of dyslexia and basically Bubbie sees and process images and text the same way most people do, but he has an execution issue when it comes to writing it down.  He has lots of letter reversals, sees text as jumping on the page, and can not copy anything down correctly.  He is reading (believe it or not) way beyond grade level, but can not spell, write sentences, grasp punctuation, and other mechanics of fine motor skills that normal 8 year olds can.  Now here’s the suckness of the situation….he is “on grade level” for all subjects which basically means he is not eligible for educational resources through the school district…yeah I know….Whuck?  Thankfully my lovely school is making accommodations for him, and we are hoping that he can learn coping skills and out grow the SSS.

Acne: a cross almost every woman has had to bear during her lifetime.  However, not a cross an 11 year old should have, right?  Manudo has some nasty ass looking acne on her forehead.  We have tried every product at CVS as well as many “suggestions” from friends…none worked.  Finally took her to the doctor and we are now trying some more majorly expensive stuff….crossing my fingers this works, cuz the poor kid just got glasses, needs braces in the next couple of months and is entering middle school (aka the biggest most awful horrible time to be a girl) in the Fall.  I think I will be preording some xanax now.

Oh, and Princepessa is a freaking THIEF!  Her kindy teacher called me and told me twice she has been caught trying to take things.  So now she is locked up in kiddy jail begging for her afternoon ration of milk and cookies (just kidding).

Merlot Take Me Away!!!!

NOW, please!

Until next time,
Nic