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Autoimmune…..Or, Why is my own body trying to kill me????

June 22, 2011 Momginerd

Sorry Nic, your autoimmune system is shot

I have some serious issues with my autoimmune system. It is like my body is Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles screaming “Aaaaaauuuuttoooooiiiimmmmmuuunnne” and then my body is the car he describes as destroying. Here’s a clip for those of your born after 1980: Drunk as a Skunk (I highly recommend you watch this movie at least 500 times, preferably with your girl-friends and learn every single word). I have issues with both my thyroid (Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis) and my joints (Rheumatoid Arthritis). Basically, my life is a series of different “cocktails” of medications to try and tell my autoimmune system to STFU. And, unfortunately, these cocktails are not Mai Tais or Martinis. They have side effects much worse than too many Hurricanes at Pat O’Briens in New Orleans, and don’t come with the fun of actually drinking said hurricanes and enjoying the nightlife in the French Quarter. Instead my nightlife is more filled with the fun of “how many times will have to get up at night to go to the bathroom?” And, “hmmmmm are those ACTUAL spiders crawling on my skin, or am I just bat shit crazy?”

My newest cocktail is 7 pills and a weekly self injection of a chemotherapy drug. Oh yea, who wants to sign up for my kind of fun? Nothing like sticking a big needle in your leg knowing it is going to make you feel like Hell for the next two days, am I right? Then I get to have a nice purple bruise that is just starting to fade when I get to go through the fun ALL OVER AGAIN….every single Friday. Whoo Hoo! Let the weekend begin!

There is no fictional or non-fictional reading I do that scares the bejeezus out of me like reading all the warning labels on my meds. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I read: This medication has SERIOUS side-effects, some of which can lead to DEATH….then there is this really small writing at the bottom that basically says that my doctor thinks it is okay to risk death, as long as I don’t actually die. Headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fatigue, eye twitches, dry mouth, rashes, kidney failure, thinning corneas, hair loss, dry skin, etc are all acceptable. My guess is if I did actually die, he probably wouldn’t give that prescription out anymore, but that is just a guess. I actually asked him once if he has ever lost a patient to death from this cocktail. His response? “Not that I am aware, however, I have had some patients not return for follow-up appointments, I assume they got better.” Um….think it is because they are DEAD, I asked? *insert sounds of crickets* Then he responds, “Well you Engineers are always over thinking things, you always look for the statistics and want to know EVERYTHING.” Needless to say, I am thinkingI am not his favorite patient, and I am guessing he could have given me a smaller needle size for the injection. Next time, I will ask him ;-).

Okay, my needle isn’t that big, and I don’t look quite that crazed

The best part of autoimmune diseases is that they are always hanging around like that Easter Egg that was lost under the couch….you never know when it is going to crack and then you will have to tear apart the entire house to find where the smell is coming from (true story). I will go months and feel great, then the next day it is like a Mack truck drove through my bedroom with spiked snow tires, ran me over and then backed up to be sure it fully mangled my body. The Cocktail is supposed to help stop that truck. Fortunately, it does, for a while. Unfortunately, your autoimmune system has the ability to become immune to cocktails, so you have to trick it with a new one. Talk about irony, eh? When this happens, it is back to the doc for a new cocktail, and a new set of “side effects” that may or may not kill me…Oh, and the process of determining the next cocktail involves lots of blood work, x-rays, MRI’s, cortisone shots (I had 2 in the soles of my feet most recently), and pinching/prodding. I swear, I have been x-rayed and MRI’d so many times I should at least have some superpower like Spider Man or at the very least glow in the dark!

I am on week 3 and trip to the bathroom 1002 on my new cocktail. The all mighty doctor said I have to give it at least 6 weeks to calm down the side-effects and know if this cocktail will work for me…..for awhile.

Until next time…I will be in the bathroom.

Nic

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Working in a Gender Bending Role…….The Negatives

June 16, 2011 Momginerd

Last week I focused on the positives of working in a non-traditional career. Today, I plan on cluing you in to some of the more unpleasant aspects.

1. No, I am not an expert on ALL things female. I am sorry, but I do not know why your wife acts the way she does (except perhaps because YOU are a jackhole?) when you complain about why your dinner isn’t prepared when you get home. I have NO idea why she has denied you sex, drives the way she does, asks you the questions she does, or ignores your pleas for her to change. Please talk to your wife, not me. Having boobs does not make me an expert on all things female, just sayin’.

2. The noises. Working in cubeville with all men leads to overhearing sounds that I give time-outs to for my own son. Some of the doozies are: Snorking, the act of sucking snot while clearing your throat resulting in a sound that resembles a Canadian Goose dying. Farting, no definition required, I am sure. Burping/belching, this occurs a lot, and loudly, and is usually accompanied by a description of exactly which food led to said expelling of gas and how it tasted “coming back up.” Horking, like snorking, but without the snot sucking….just as gross and usually proceeds the sound of Spitting into the nearest trash can.

3. The advice. Just because you happen to have a penis and 10 or more years on me, does not make you the expert on all things dealing with me, my parenting, my marriage, my weight, my diet, my health, how I color my hair, my driving, how I spend my free time, which beverages I like to consume when not working, or what a “smart and pretty lady like you should do next in my career.”
4. The Nicknames. Oh yeah, I have a few. Some of them are mean, some are condescending and pretty much most of them are inappropriate. I have been dubbed the Princess Bitch, Little Lady, Work Wife, Bossy Lady, Aggressive Wench….etc, I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. I would like to say that just because I am in charge, I am not a bitch. I don’t hear you bitching about the Men who have similar expectations of you….my having female parts does not detract from the fact that I have a brain and I have earned my spot as a leader. So, STFU and keep it to yourself.

5. Did you know that if there is a woman in a generally all male workgroup it is the unspoken rule that said woman must organize all social events for the group? She must remember all birthdays and arrange for any activities for the birthday? She is also in charge of collecting and purchasing gifts for the group members’ wives who have children. I did not realize that a vijayjay came with the unique ability to be the work wife of every person who works in my department! Thanks….especially since when I was the one having the babies, nobody did jack shit. I guess I should have purchased something for myself and then asked for donations and passed around my own card….Jackholes.

6. Guilt. I believe that when you work with all men, mommy guilt tends to be magnified. Most of the men I work with when their kids are ill and unable to go to school their wives take care of them. Well, I am the MOM and my kids want me when they are sick. They also want me to go to their graduations, games and other activities that to me are more important than keeping a chair warm at my office. I am mobile and always available via BlackBerry and laptop. I am actually more productive from home as all my co-workers aren’t coming by to ask me about all their wives “womanly issues.” However, it never fails that if I take time to do something for my kids, I get a snide comment from a co-worker the next day.

So, there are a few snippets of being a woman working in a Man’s world. All in all, I enjoy it, but there are some days I want to just remind them of their manners and put them in time-out!

Until next time,
Nic

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Working in a gender bending role….The positives

June 8, 2011 Momginerd

This will be the first of a two part series. Because I like to consider myself an optimist, I am going to start with the positives :).

First a bit of background. I am a manufacturing engineer and I work in a 2.5M square foot manufacturing facility. I work for one of the Big 3 American Automotive companies. Yes, there are other women who work in my plant, but the majority of them do not work in an engineering capacity. There are many hardworking women working on the production line, a few work in Finance, and then there are a few who work in the Administrative role. These are all very important jobs within my company, but are more stereotypically “female.” Of the approximately 3,000 people employed at my plant, there are about 8 women in a “technical leadership role.”

1. I ALWAYS look good. Seriously, if you are a woman who is feeling down on yourself, consider a career change. I never go at least one day where I am not cat-called, oogled, hit on, or otherwise made to feel like men find me attractive. Of course, these are the SAME men that wouldn’t glance my way in a bar. When compared to the competition in a plant, I AM the hot one, and frankly if feels good sometimes at my advanced maternal age.
2. Just one of the guys. After a while my breasts seem to lose their ability to make men check themselves in their manners. At first when I started in this position, the “guys” would constantly be excusing themselves for swearing, putting down women, or otherwise just being men. This may sound like a negative, but in actuality it is a good thing. I get much more accomplished now that I am earning their respect for the quality of my work instead of the size of my bra.

3. Respect from folks outside of my plant. I think that when acquaintances hear what I do for a career many of them are unnecessarily impressed. In the grand scheme of things, I really don’t think it is that impressive. I mean, at the end of the day, exactly WHAT I am doing at work really will not mean anything in the long run. The fact that I am a divorced mother with 3 young children who have all thus far managed to not become derelicts and be placed in juvie, well that is impressive!

4. I can hold my own in just about any situation. I was blessed to have earned a fair amount of education and experience in the last 42 years of living. Working in manufacturing has given me the opportunities to learn about a lot of things many women wouldn’t. For example, HH and I are going to remodel our kitchen. I have learned enough through my experiences that I feel confident in designing, planning, installing, and working on my own home. Yeah, I know it makes you feel better that I am more concerned about engineering my own home than the car you drive your family around in daily. The difference is, I have to LIVE in my kitchen daily, you, I may not even ever have to meet (just kidding, truly!).

5. I have a lot of male friends. This is a good thing because even if I am totally not interested in any sporting/hunting/car racing/golfing/etc events I can discuss them with a level of intelligence as to not embarrass myself. I gain these little tidbits through osmosis by having to hear the stats at the beginning and end of every meeting.

6. Cutting through the bullshit. Let’s face it, talking with men is a totally different dynamic than talking with women. Women are about the details, men are about the facts, in most cases. Through dealing with mostly men, I have gained the ability to listen to a topic and pick out the relevant parts of it quickly and succinctly. Why is this a positive? Because, when dealing with teachers, coaches, kids, contractors, doctors, husbands (wink), etc, I can listen to what they say and then hone in on the main points quickly. This speeds things up tremendously, and frankly I do not have the time to listen to long drawn out stories when I have exactly 23 minutes to feed 3 kids and cart them to 3 separate activities all while sweeping the floors, doing dishes, and managing both HH and my EX’s social calendars.

7. The wardrobe. I do not have to spend oodles of money on fancy clothes. I wear basic pants, a blouse or a sweater, a blue supervisor’s jacket complete with my name and company logo embroidered on my breasts, steel-toed shoes, bright yellow hard hat, and safety glasses EVERY SINGLE working day. And, because men or so fashionably clueless, I rotate the same 5 outfits every single week (yeah, I know I dress like that and #1 still applies!). Of course, they still ARE men, so I do have one low cut blouse that I pull out if I really need to get a job done more quickly….works every time! It’s funny how making the girls a little more perky can remind these guys that I am STILL a woman ;-).

All in all, I am fortunate that I have a good job that allows me to have a decent home, comfortable life, and lots of opportunities to learn!

Be looking for the not so positives in the near future!

Nic

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Welcome!

May 17, 2011 Momginerd

This is my first attempt at Blogging, so please forgive me if I disappoint. I am a mom to 3 kiddos: Manudo who is 11 going on 21, Bubbie who is 8 and has dysexia and ADHD, and Princepessa who is 5 and well a princess (I MAY have changed some names to protect the innocent, lol). I am married to the love of my life HH (Hottie Husband). I am a Sr. Manufacturing Engineer at a major automotive company, even though I am unsure of if this is what I REALLY want to be doing. I believe I must have a bit of ADHD myself, as I am constantly on the look out for my next career adventure. I have a BA in Psychology, History and Education, an MA in Counseling, and an MS in Manufacturing Management…oh and a 6-Sigma Blackbelt (this is a total geeky engineering thing about streamlining processes).

I wanted to start a blog, because basically I am a total smartass and NEED an outlet that I can get out my snarkiness instead of saying it out loud places where it isn’t as much appreciated…say like to my boss, co-workres, kid’s teachers, my parents etc…..

Some of the things I believe I will be snarking on include working in a male dominated job, dealing with an Ex-husband (the father of my 3 kids) who still thinks I should run his life like I did when we were married, a new(er) husband with 3 special needs kids and a psycho ex-wife, my crazy yet hilarious children, my funny and intelligent friends, and basically anything that just pisses me off. I figure, “Hey! It’s MY blog, I can write about what I want ;-).”

So, watch this space for sarcasm, my opinions (which you probably won’t agree with, but that’s okay), and my rants!

Nic