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How My Kids Break the Rules of Logic and Science!

December 8, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

There are some things that defy all reason and scientific principles. Most of these are things that have to do with my offspring. Below is a list of things that make me go “WHUCK?” on a daily basis.

1. Toothpaste and its ability to travel long distances.

Every single muther furking time I go into the kids’ bathroom I find dried crusty toothpaste in the most odd places. Today, I found it on the windowsill, UNDER the blinds, that is approximately 5 ft from the sink and NO WHERE near the towel, which is also covered in a toothpaste/saliva combo.

2. Socks and where the Hell do they go?

I swear to all that is holy I have a basket of single socks that contains more socks than the actual pairs that end up in my kids drawers. Where do the socks go? Is there a black hole in my dryer that ONLY likes kids socks? Ironically, I rarely have an issue matching pairs of my socks. So, this black hole is not only a mystery, it is selective!

3. Pee on the seat

Bubbie is great at lifting and putting down the seat. It is most likely a long term repercussion (which I am sure will require some sort of therapy when he is an adult) of my fastidious toilet training. Yes, I did encourage him to “blot the tip” while training, and YES he has the cleanest underwear in the house thank.you.very.much to this day! This pee on the seat is about the girls. How in the heck do they manage to get dribble on the seat? Are they hovering in their own bathroom? Are they doing jumping jacks? Did I get confused and encourage them to shake it off while I was teaching Bubbie to blot?

4. Selective Hearing

How come I can whisper something about one of the kids from 3 rooms away and they can hear it, yet when I am right in front of them asking something they can’t? Should I yell my secret thoughts to HH and whisper my requests to the offspring?

5. Selective Blindness

Actual sign haning in all offspring rooms

This is the first cousin to Selective Hearing. I find it usually accompanies my request to fetch some object of theirs they are missing. For example, Manudo has selective vision for things as large as her lunch box. I have packed her lunch and remind her to grab it on her way out the door. She opens the fridge, stares RIGHT at the damn thing and says she can’t find it! I then will give her detailed directions to the area right in front of her face, and she STILL can’t see it! When I point it out, after stomping to the kitchen from the other room where I was importantly updating my FB status, she is all like “Oh….hahahahah….Sorry mom!” Google revealed this is a REAL illness! Refrigerator Blindness. And we all know, if it is on GOOGLE it must be TRUE!

6. Ackbassward Sleeping times

The unique phenomena of kids waking up at the crack of dawn on non-school days, yet having to be dragged kicking and screaming from their beds on school days. Why is it that they go to bed at reasonable times on school days and have a harder time getting up than when they are allowed leniency on the weekends? Perhaps I will do an experiment and let them stay up as late as they want on school days and make them go to bed early on weekends. It would only be fair, since I happen to enjoy sleeping in on my few days off of work!

These are just a few….I am sure as time goes on and I enter the realm of parenting a teenager more phenomena will manifest!

Until next time!
Nic

P.S. Did you know Momginerd has a Facebook page? If you like the blog, you will love the FB page which is updated almost daily!

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I am not playing Hookie…

November 17, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Hello Momginerd fans,

I have been remiss in not updating the blog lately, but I PROMISE I have a good excuse. I have been dealing with some pretty major heath issues. I feel comfortable posting now, that we have ruled out any life-threatening issues, but I am still searching for answers.

I have RA, and for a chronicle of that please see: My body is trying to kill me, which details some of the trials and tribulations of living with an autoimmune disease. About 6 weeks ago my rheumatologist increased one of my medications, and either coincidently or as a side effect, I have developed some “interesting” neurological “disturbances.”

Including: numbness on the left side of my face, lack of coordination/vertigo, visual halos/auras/floaties, losing my words when speaking, and numbness in hands and arms (mostly concentrated on the left side). Through process of elimination we do know 3 things:

1. I have a BRAIN, and she is gorgeous. I know because the doctor gave me a CD and I can look at her whenever I want!

2. I do not have lesions, aneurisms, tumors or other brain related abnormalities that could be causing my issues.

3. I do have some spinal issues with 4 protruding discs, but again they may explain SOME symptoms, but not all.

What we do not know, but suspect, is that I probably have a combination of issues (yeah, yeah, enter complicated woman comment here) that are causing my problems. We believe the hand issues are caused by the protruding discs, so I am going to physical therapy. I most likely have Hemiplegic Migraines which explain the other effects, and some residual side effects from the increase in the RA medication, methotrexate. I have had migraines in the past, but never one that has lingered as long as this one. I basically have been living with some level of a headache since the beginning of September. Most of the time I can power through and move on, but sometimes they knock my flat on my ass. NOTHING makes it go completely away, and I can now set up a side business dispensing drugs, if needed, since I have been prescribed everything from Imitrex to Vicodin to try and get these headaches under control.

I used to look human, but I have
had 4000 Xrays in 1 month

I am anxiously awaiting yet another call with results of yet more tests to see where the next step will lead. Most likely that will be to a neurologist and a pain clinic….which I am sure will end up in yet more tests so that I finally cease to look human and more resemble this a halo of myself, and more drugs to take up space in my overflowing aresenal….

Until then, the good news is my doctors (damn, that is scary to have to put the S after it), agree that I am to take it easy and play hooky, I mean work from home, as much as possible. Thankfully, I have an awesome team who understands and really do not NEED me daily to do their jobs!

Thank you all for your patience with me, I promise once all this is sorted out, I will be back full of snark and sarcasm per usual!

Lots and lots of love,Nic

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Rites of Passage or Mothering a Junior High School Daughter (God Help me now!)

November 1, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I wanted to be a Zombie, but Mom made me pretty instead

Last week, at least in my mind, Manudo looked like this on Halloween. All that was important was being pretty or scary, getting lots of attention, and KNOWING that Mommy would always be there to take care of her. She was always a unique child, even from a very young age. Manudo is one of those kids who doesn’t do things on a linear slope, she does them in peaks. She has always been this way! She went from not walking or crawling to RUNNING, at 9 months. She never jibber jabbered, she spoke in sentences, before she was 1. She is like this in school too. I will be all worried about a poor grade in a course (I don’t know if online grade reporting is a blessing or a curse at this point), only to be surprised and delighted when she aces the final exam. Yes, this causes me lots of worry and trepidation, because I can’t predict any achievements based any sort of a curve for her, she either gets it 100% or doesn’t get it at all. And just because she doesn’t get it today, doesn’t mean in a day she won’t have 100%. It drives me absolutely bat-assed crazy!

This past week has involved many rites of passage for both of us. She and her team won 1st place in her cheerleading competition after a very difficult, heart wrenching (for mom, think mean girls), exhausting, thrilling, and “political” 4 months of 5 days per week practice. She was THRILLED. Then, she had her first dance at her Junior High School. In years past, Manudo has always been the child who wants to be something scary and totally made up for Halloween (above picture notwithstanding, since she was too young to pick then). She has been scary witches with warts and green skin, zombies, and skeletons……so perhaps my mommy spidey sense should have went off when she said she wanted to go to her dance as a “pretty witch.” But it didn’t. Manudo has never before expressed any interest in boys, attracting boys, or being around boys. She was still in the OMG, Boys are Gross stage….last week.

So, being the Cool Mom I am, I proceeded to go out and get her lots of “pretty witch” accouterments. She had gorgeous glittery false eye-lashes, eye make-up, lipstick, etc….I also spent about 45 minutes styling her almost to her waist hair. It was a lot of work, and she looked gorgeous. She kept hopping up and looking in the mirror, was asking all kinds of questions about make-up application, and was very critical if there were any smudges or the like. She kept asking how I learned to apply makeup, how hard is it to curl hair, and other beauty routine related questions. It was also the very first time EVER she didn’t scream like a howler monkey when I styled her hair….Still, I was clueless.

She asked me, specifically, to take her to the school for the party/dance. On the way there, she is asking me all sorts of questions about my first dance experience. It was quite the challenge to recall 100 years ago when I was in Jr. High, but I dredged up some memories about first dances. You remember the girls on one side, boys on the other…waiting with bated breath as a very cute Jake Ryan looking boy traversed the 100 miles of gym floor thinking: “Is he coming towards me? What will I do if he doesn’t ask me to dance? What will I do if he DOES? OMG, he is coming towards me, for real, I hope they play Stairway to Heaven, cuz it is like 8 minutes long” times?

As I shook myself out of my reverie to the past, I noticed she was very fidgety, anxious and nervous. Being still clueless, I said, “Are you nervous? Why are you so nervous? Sit still, you will mess up your hair and get glitter all over my car!” She then proceeded to ask, in a very tiny and timid voice, “Mommy do you think the boys will think I look pretty?” I was totally speechless and felt this odd prickling feeling behind my eyelids, and right then I was back in junior high with that feeling when the boy did not ask me to dance. I wanted to turn that glitter covered car around and put my intelligent, beautiful, and for the first time ever self-conscious daughter in some footy pajamas, make her some hot chocolate and read her “Goodnight Moon” for the 1 millionth time. Instead, I told her that the joy of dances is there are lots of boys there so if one doesn’t like her, there is a high chance that another one will for sure. She then said, “but what if “he” doesn’t think I look pretty”….and I almost ran over the cop directing traffic in and out of the school for the kiss and ride line. I told her that if “he” thinks she looks pretty in school, then “he’d” be blind and dumb to not think she looks pretty right now! And I felt yet more prickling behind my eyelids and realized that I was dropping my (in my mind) 3 year old daughter off to be ogled by nasty pubescent wolves! As we pulled up to our spot in the line for her to get out, she opened the door, hesitated for a second, then got out. Before she shut the door, she looked at me, and in her voice still reminiscent of when she really was 3 said, “Thank you and I love you Mommy.”

The prickling became a floodgate and I bawled the whole way home….without my daughter. But I guess, even at 12 her most important things about Halloween this year were: Looking pretty, getting lots of attention, and knowing that Mommy will always be there to take care of her!

Nic
P.S. She texted me after the dance and said “he” thought she looked awesome…..

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my blog! Please add your comments and let me know what you think….any ideas on what you’d like to read here? Let me know!

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Things Kids Say

October 25, 2011 Momginerd

Here is a short compliation of some of the things I have overheard in my house in the past couple of weeks. Obviously, Princepessa is a born comedienne Feel free to laugh, and even better, add your own in the comments section!

Princepessa to Manudo (6 and 12): Mom said for you to put on your bra, Manudo. She said you will be in PUBLIC and you have to wear a bra. I am special cuz I don’t have to put one on, not.even.in.public! Manudo: Well that’s becausse you are only 6 and haven’t joined the IBT club, you’re still a BABY.
Princepessa: I am never joining that club, I am going to be a boy when I grow up!

Bubbie to Manudo (Bubbie is 8): today all the kids were making fun of me in school because I am the shortest kid in class.

Manudo: You aren’t short, you are FUN sized!

Princepessa to HH and me: Why haven’t you guys kissed lately? HH and I proceed to kiss.
Princepessa: “Oh the horror! my eyes, they are melting!!!”

Bubbie to Princepessa: You are so annoying, I am going to sell you on eBay when I grow up!

Princepessa: Well, mom was going to try that but decided not to because she said they’d send me back.

Manudo to HH: But WHY do I have to learn algebra! You are an engineer and I heard you say how dumb algebra is and how you never ever use it…you just do Excel formuals!

HH: *crickets*

Princepessa to the dog: You are the best dog in the whole world. I love you so much! I do wish you were a cat, though. They are softer and like to purr.

Bubbie to Princepessa: You SO do not my old room in the basement, you will be scared. It is very dark and there may be monsters!

Princepessa: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have been sharing a room with a monster named Manudo for 6 whole years! I love the dark lonely basement, all by myself!

Till next time,

Nic

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True Story about Bubbie, Football and Bugs

October 6, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I am small, but I will bite your ankles and bring you DOWN!

The following is a true story about my 8 year old son, Bubbie “the Crusher”. He plays junior league football and also is in cub scouts. He isn’t the greatest (by far) player on the team and is on the developmental squad. This basically means he plays a grand total of 10 plays per game. He practices 5 days per week for 2 hours per day…..for a total of 5 minutes playing time per game (the games last about 2.5 hours, you do the math). Oh, and bubbie is the smallest kid on the team. He weighs a whopping 50 lbs….the biggest kid weighs 117 lbs. WHUCK?!? Imagine Angry Birds….Imagine a 117 pound kid tackling your 50 LB kid….Bubbie is the bird and the ground is the green pig.

The other day it was Bubbie’s first day as a Bear Scout. He woke up that morning and was SO excited. This kid loves all things outdoors and knows just about every creepy fact one could ever want to, not want to, or even dream about knowing about bugs…..yeah, I know. Take this factoid, shared during dinner the other night:

“Mom, did you know a cockroach can live nine days without eating. This is also the same amount of time that the body of a cockroach can live after its head has been cut off before it eventually dies from starvation.” Um……I think I am done eating now. Thank you Bubbie for introducing a new diet trend: Gross mom out so she can’t eat. I am sure it will be all the rage.

So, cub scouts is a natural fit for him and something he has really been looking forward to doing this year. It just so happens that football also has practice on the same day….of course football has practice everyday, so it pretty much puts our lives in chaos for 4 months (Princepessa and Manudo are cheerleaders for the same league as well). Being the momginerd I am, I have read the rules and regulations for the league very thoroughly. These rules specifically state that a football player can miss up to 1 unexcused practice per week and not be punished by the coach or miss any game playing time (hahahah, if 5 whole minutes counts as playing time). Bubbie’s coach is a bit……..well…..let’s just say he is really in to coaching this team. Like when the kids (these are 8 and 9 year old BOYS) lost a game, he practiced them so hard over half of them were crying and/or puking the next day….nice. Anyway, the much anticipated day of cub scouts arrived and Bubbie proudly wore his den shirt to school and drove us all nuts asking questions about what we thought he’d learn that day. This is every mom’s dream! To have a kid actually excited about learning! Am I right?

That evening when I picked him up from the den meeting he was engrossed into reading his new book and was bursting with information and excitement about all the activities he’d be doing with his den and pack. It was also raining, torrentially. I gave him the choice, we can hurry home and change for football, or he could go home do his homework and we’d start working on one of his badge activities. To be fair, he does like football and hardly ever complains about going to practice. He was nervous about how Coach would react to his missing a practice. In my head I was thinking, “What is he going to do, make you play MORE as punishment?” When we walked to the car and needed bath towels to dry off he (smartly, in my opinion) decided to stay home where it was warm, dry, and not doing pushups in to the mud (okay, you caught me, I only make him do that when he really pisses me off).

The next day at practice the following conversation occurred between Bubbie and Coach:

Coach: Why weren’t you at practice yesterday?
Bubbie: I had cub scouts.
Coach: CUB SCOUTS!!!! What is more important around here, boy, Cub Scouts or FOOTBALL!
Bubbie: Cub Scouts, I actually get to participate in cub scouts.
Coach: *Crickets*

I never in my life wanted so badly to run up and give my kid a huge hug and a kiss in front of everyone. I did spare him the embarassment, but he got an extra big piece of homemade pie that night for dessert…just because.

Now before the flames start, I will say football has been a great experience for the Bubster. He may be small, but he has learned the value of effort over size, teamwork, tenacity, and keeping your head down so it doesn’t get ripped off.

Until next time,
Nic

P.S. Did you know you can follow me on twitter? Look to the right and click on the twitter icon! I also have a momginerd facebook page find it here: Momginerd Facebook Page!

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Welcome to the Geekside

October 3, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Steve Jobs via Apple’s Ad campaign said it best:

To all you non-conformists, wierdos, nerds, geeks, techno-dweebs, oddballs, freaks, and crazies, I love you…keep up the good work because you are the ones who will one day change the world. When you look back through history at the “change makers” who do you think of? I think of people who did not just sit down and shut up, they stood up and SCREAMED their outrage. They didn’t listen to the nay-sayers that said “it couldn’t be done.” They proved them wrong in the face of all adversity…even when they may have thought deep down in their hearts that perhaps they couldn’t, they did not quit.

I invite all of you to be a geek, an oddball, a freak or a nerd. Come on over, the conversation is always stimulating and some of us are even a slight bit funny!

Nic

P.S. We usually have cool gadgets and good advice on how to fix your computer, program your remote, and knowledge of other esoteric things you may be curious about!

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Three legs of a healthy relationship

September 28, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Warning! This will not by a typical Momginerd blog with lots of sarcasm and humor, but I do still think it has a lot of good messages to share.

When my relationships start to falter, I spend a lot of time reflecting on what went wrong and why. I came up with an analogy to a 3-legged stool that I think are the basics of a healthy, long term, and happy relationship.

When you just don’t
care enough to care

Emotional: You need to have an emotional connection to your partner. By this, I mean you need to feel about your partner’s happiness, in many ways, more than you do about your own. If your partner is unhappy, then you will be too. If your partner is happy then you feel better as well. When you have an emotional connection with someone it is almost like you are linked metaphysically. Their emotions have a direct effect on your own. By having the emotional connection to each other you are more in tune in many ways to the non-verbal cues that they are offering. When you don’t have that connection, you are clueless as to how they feel and it can lead to feelings of apathy towards each other. When you feel apathetic towards your partner, I think, it is the beginning of the end. You have lost all emotional connection and you just don’t care enough anymore to try and get it back.

Physical: Well, this one should be pretty self-explanatory. You MUST be attracted to your partner. And by attracted I mean more than just the feelings of lust you have at the beginning of a relationship. Sure, that is physical and is important, but it really doesn’t last if there aren’t more things you find are attractive about your partner than the color of their eyes or hair or if they have an incredible body. To me the physical goes beyond the immediate lust to the little things that makes my partner irresistible to me. The twinkle in his eye when he gets my jokes. The smile that he reserves ONLY for me that tells me in one instant I am the woman for him, he loves and adores me despite my numerous flaws. But, at the end of the day a partner’s actual physical appearance from afar isn’t the most important thing to me.

Intellectual: By intellectual I do not mean to imply that your partner needs to have an IQ above 140, or even that both partners have to have matching intelligence and educational levels. I mean that you have to be able to connect with your partner in an intellectual way. You need to be able to communicate your feelings/thoughts/issues/problems in a way you can both understand. If you can’t have a conversation about a topic you care about with your partner, then it is very difficult to accomplish many other tasks in a relationship. Intellectual compatibility is SO important when it comes to family decisions on how to raise your children, how to manage finances, and long term goal planning. You don’t have to AGREE, you just have to be able to value the differences and see them as strengths. I believe there has to be a coming of the minds so that when one has an important issue that the other one understands exactly what the issue is and that you work as a partnership to fix the problem. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in the concept of a “perfect couple.” Most have had bad relationships in the past and I believe you have to put the utmost importance on communication. There will be certain topics (Ex’s, kids, politics) that you may not see eye to eye, but, a true partnership works to find and accept the good in both the things you agree on and, more so, the ones you disagree on. Take the time to LISTEN actively, and you may find sound logic for your partner’s positions.

Intellectual compatibility is also tied with empathy towards each other. Empathy only comes when one can truly understand how and why their partner feels certain ways about different topics. My personal cross to bear is making sure that I place the same value on my partners issues/concerns as he does. For example, I am used to doing 1000 different things per day, most of them all at the same time. On the other hand, a potential partner may like to accomplish one task and move on to the next. I have to be cognizant of how my partner may think and not add to his stress by constant bitching and offering up “solutions” to what I perceive as his issues. You see, to him this may not be an issue it is just who he is as a person. And yes, it probably would drive me nuts and I may have to take a step back and realize he is the sum of all of the things I love about him, not just the pieces I want to change.

I 100% believe that when a relationship has all three legs, and all three are strong, that the relationship can last a life-time. When you are missing one of the legs, or that part of the relationship breaks, you end up either living in an apathetic relationship or you go your separate ways.

This is my goal, a love to last a lifetime

Like I said, I am not a relationship expert, and I don’t even play on on TV, however this is how I feel and think. What do you think? Am I off base? What have been your past experiences?

Have some self respect already!

September 8, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I wouldn’t exactly call myself a feminist. I mean, I like being treated like a lady, having my door opened, being wooed as much as the next woman. However, perhaps because of my career (Engineer in manufacturing for any newbies to the site), I have a different perspective on the line between being a bra burning feminist and a lady. I also think that because I work in a male dominated (and lets face it, a better description is meathead dominated) job, I have developed dos and don’ts for how I handle myself and what I think (no, you don’t have to think like I do) is appropriate clothing for girls and women in public (what you all do in your own homes is your business!).

WHUCK?!?!?

For example, I do not think it is appropriate for young ladies to wear see-through shirts, daisy duke shorts, high heels, or thong underwear…all of which I saw with advertising targeted towards my 7th grade daughter while back to school shopping. It is not in my goals as a parent to teach my child to look like a whore…ever. Of course, I am in the minority in that my almost 12 year old is one of the few girls in her school that do not go to class with full-on make up either. I am fine with it…Manudo, hasn’t complained too much yet, but I plan on using the “When I was growing up….” explanation cuz we all know kids LOVE that one!

I also think it is inappropriate for adult women (and I use this term loosely) to wear clothing that is gender degrading. Why in the world would a grown woman want to walk around wearing a Hooter’s T-shirt, or even worse one from Playboy or Hustler? Especially when all of those built their MALE owned companies based on the objectification of women and their bodies. And before you ask, No, I haven’t had the wings, and I don’t care if they give me 3 minutes in heaven, you cannot tell me that most of the people who go there are going for the wings and not the, well, hooters. I am sure these are the same people who claim they read playboy and hustler for the “intellectually” stimulating articles….These people think women are here not only to be objectified but that they are dumb too!

However, I guess if your life’s goal as a woman is to have men stare at your boobs all day by choice then you are being successful. Bravo! Let me know how that works for you when your boobs are closer to your knees and you haven’t learned to get men to look you in the eye when talking to you.

I also believe that as a mom it is my job to teach both my daughters and even more importantly my son to respect women. Why is it that we all want our sons to be mommy’s boy, but then society is okay with said son becoming a person who disrespects woman (and by association their mothers) once they grow a few hairs you know where? Isn’t it important for our sons to think of women as smart, independent, and valuable life partners? Isn’t it important to teach our daughters to love their female friends and respect them? I am so upset by all the girl to girl bullying these days. It is bad enough that young girls have to compete with society’s vision of how they should look/act/dress, but to have to compete with their own female peers is just horrible.

Men, women, girls, boys, we all need to realize that women aren’t going anywhere, especially not back to heels and aprons and thinking that we are only as valuable as the men who care for us. All women deserve respect especially from themselves!

That’s not a smile, it is a grimace cuz her
feet are KILLING her!

Rant over…..for now!

Nic

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My 9 Circles of Hell Summer Remodeling my Kitchen Pt. 1 of 3

August 3, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

I have been living through the 9 circles of Hell this summer, and I am not even speaking of how HOT it has been. You see, I decided that I am smart enough, strong enough, and yes just that GOOD enough to remodel our kitchen from the floorboards to the wall studs all by ourselves with minimal labor/help from anyone else. There are many lessons we learned about ourselves and each other throughout this journey, and baby, not all of them were good! Most importantly, I learned the value of working hard and making a lot of money so that I can hire someone else to do this work for me in the future!

So, exactly how is remodeling a kitchen the equivalent of living through the 9 Circles of Hell you may be asking?

Let me break it down:

Circle 1 Limbo

When living without a functioning kitchen for 6 weeks you really feel like your life is in limbo. And by limbo, I don’t mean the dancing kind.

If only it were this much fun!

I mean the kind where you never know up from down, right from left or right from wrong! For example, is it really all that wrong to write “messages” to any future homeowners behind the cabinets where they will only be seen if they decide to be disrespectful and tear out all my blood, sweat and tears hard work?

GOOD luck, cuz this kitchen has no even walls or floors!

Circle 2 The Lustful
Let me stop you…no I don’t mean the lustful as in “Hey baby, come on over here for some somthin’ somthin’!” kind of lustful. It is the lustful kind that means more of a Veruca Salt type of lust.

I want my fancy spice rack and
I want it NOW!!!

There is nothing that creates lust in my heart more than looking through hundreds of Kitchen Design magazines and seeing all the cool gadgets. I am a nerd like that. If there is a gadget that makes potatoes into curly fries, I want it…even though I don’t eat fries. I feel there can never be enough gadgets in the world…especially the electronic types.

Circle 3 The Gluttonous

NOT HH, but his is what he looked like
having REAL food for a change.

Reason would ascertain that living without a kitchen would make one less gluttonous, but I beg to differ. I am an avid cook and prior to the fateful day of June 28, 2011 my family probably ate restaurant or take-out food about once per month. I am the type of anal retentive Good Mom that almost always plans a weekly menu filled with a variety of healthy and mostly delicious meals for my family. We belong to an organic food co-op and eat a lot of fresh veggies and fruit….especially in the summer. This summer, our diet has consisted of things I put in the microwave, crock-pot or on the grill. Did I mention that WE were doing the entire remodel ourselves while working full time? I was/am exhausted too! So, let’s just be honest and say my kidlets have eaten more than their fair share of pizza, Taco Bell, hot dogs, and burgers this summer with not too many balanced meals (read, not many fresh veggies/fruit) as an added bonus. Also, my sanctified family dinner time has gone down the tubes too. We have what is charmingly called a country kitchen. Basically this mean our postage stamp sized house has a huge kitchen and NO dining room. Since it has been so hot, the kids have been eating in the basement in front of the TV every single meal, every single day because it has been 10000 degrees with 1000% humidity all Summer long. You know it is bad when a family member takes pity and brings a home cooked meal and we ALL attacked it like a crack addict getting a fix. We ate every single morsel she brought still warm from her kitchen and Princepessa even was caught licking the gravy off her plate….Yes, that was a VERY gluttonous day! Most of our family conversations these days have been centered on the discussion of what meal we will make in our new glorious kitchen when it is finally finished. Like I am going to mess it up right after all this hard work.

Pts 2 and 3 coming soon! I will also include some pictures if y’all would like. I charge $500/hr for design and installation ;-).

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The Princepessa is six going on sixteen!

July 19, 2011September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Even though I like to eat cavegirl style,
I am a GIRLY girl!

This is my Princepessa. 6 years ago today she entered the world charming me, our doula, her dad and the entire hospital staff with her perfectness…she continues her journey of charming almost all who meet her daily. She is the most social of my 3 kids as well as being the most outgoing. She also has a killer sense of humor!

Here are some snippets of conversations either heard or relayed that Princepessa has had:

1. At 3 years old Princepessa was in a daycare. She had fallen and hit her head. The policy of the school is to call whenever any type of injury occurs involving the head. The teacher took her in to the office to make the call. While I was speaking with her teacher, Princepessa had the following discussion with the administrative assistant of the school:

P: You are very beautiful Ms. B.
Ms. B: Thank you P.
P: Ms. B, Why are your boobies so big?
Ms. B: Because that’s the way God made them.
P: After thinking about it for a while responds, “Well you must have been a really good angel before you were born for God to give you those boobies, they are VERY nice!”

2. Our Nanny, aka the kind woman who keeps me sane, took Princepessa and her siblings swimming this Summer at a friend’s house. Nanny’s friend is this gorgeous Chaldean girl with this beautifully bronze skin. P asked her if she had been tanning. The kind lady explained that no, she was born with darker skin. Princepessa responded, “Well your mommy must have had a sunlamp in her tummy for you to have such tan skin!”

3. On my recent birthday we had the following conversation:
P: Happy Birthday Mommy! You are the most gorgeous mommy in the whole universe. You are better than a Princess, you are the Queen of all beautiful mommies!”
Me: Thanks! I love you so much, I think you are the sweetest little girl in the whole universe!
P: I love you so much that when you die, I am coming to your memorial service and then every single year I will go to your grave and put flowers on it!
Me: That would be nice, but could we please not discuss my dying on my birthday?
P: Well, did you know that if you live to be 100 years old the President will call you on your birthday? How many more years will that be for you, mommy?
Me: 48
P: Well…….oh…….that’s a long time…..but, I will put flowers on your grave every year.

Not only is the precious child precocious, she is also very smart and very artistic. She is the kind of kid that will sit for hours and hours completing art projects. All of which are “Special” and must be hung up and are dedicated to me, her “most awesomist mom in the world.” HOWEVER, she cannot focus long enough to remember to flush the toilet!

I bet even this can can remember to flush, but
Princepessa always forgets!

She is the ultimate girly girl, which I think is one of the things that proves to me God has a sense of humor. I am about as girly as a lumberjack. For her birthday these are her top items on her list: Glitter make-up, nail polish, diamonds, rubies, all day spa trip, and high heeled shoes……PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW! I had to break her heart and tell her that she has caviar taste on a hot dog budget…..Then she added caviar to her wish list!

Hello! I am P’s new best friend!

Princepessa has never met a stranger. In fact she has never met an acquaintance. All new people are her new BFF’s. She HUGS everyone, and I mean everyone she meets. This is all cute and adorable on TV, but not so much when you are her mother and it is your job to keep her safe from the creepy people in the world. I am constantly reminding her that if she doesn’t know the person’s name, chances are they are strangers. She will then proceed to introduce herself, so that they can be new BFF’s and she can hug them. *sigh* I have been castigated by strangers for not teaching her “stranger danger” I kid you not! I always respond by letting them know that they are more than welcomed to buy her on eBay and teach her themselves. She is currently listed at $1B…any takers?

Until next time!
Nic