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Am I Good Enough?

Momginerd

Image result for am i good enoughInsecurity after a bad relationship is horrible.  Especially when you truly and deeply loved the past person.  Loss of a relationship hurts no matter the circumstances. But, infidelity is like a vicious parasite that burrows into the deepest hollows of your soul.  Time passes…eyes open…hope begins to be renewed. You feel like the parasite has been vanquished. Smiles…heart flutters…HOPE springs. Then, as you feel a thaw in the block ice you spent years slowly dripping healing layers on in order to truly live in a world seemingly filled with happy people, the parasite raises its ugly head and starts whispering: Hey, you are fine….Don’t set yourself up again.  You know you will just get hurt….And you believe it. You start picking apart every communication, every gesture, every nuance of every single interaction with every “potential” future relationship. The illogical sounds logical. You begin to feel unworthy, unlovable and all the other “un” that helped you build the fucking ice block in the first place. It is a vicious circle of self loathing, distrust, and abject disillusion of every tenant in the “good” of people to which you once held in high esteem.

How can the circle be broken? And, perchance even worse:  Do you truly want to break this circle or just stay in the ice-cold self-built SAFE prison of  apathy?  Though the housing is cold, the safety is warm, embracing and mind numbing. Mind  numbing….it is heavenly, until it isn’t. A single word or look from a single person begins the melting.  You feel a spark of hope, which incites more melting and you take a breath and see a puddle at your feet reflecting the hope of blue skies and smiles….sighs…touch…happiness. 

Image result for puddle to a pond

Your heart sees this puddle and wants to jump in feet first.  It looks heavenly and in its depths you see glimmers of your old self.  Before the ugly…cold…hurt. You start by a toe dip, you find yourself smiling…laughing…wanting…and the puddle grows, becoming a pond.  The water isn’t too cold or deep, so you wade in a bit. If the parasite senses no impending danger; and you have been frantically looking for any danger much like a new mom letting her child play free for the first time at the playground, more melting and your pond is becoming a lake.  But, perhaps an ice covered lake, one upon which you are a tugboat constantly breaking up the frigid covering and leaving space for your lover to follow, if they are brave enough to have faith in your navigation skills. It isn’t a test of the new person, but more an unraveling of yourself in small weighted pieces as you continue to watch the shore for the parasite to be right.

Hopefully, because for the love of all things that keep you sane, one day you will look up Image result for icebergand realize you cannot even see the shore of your lake.  Your lake is now a vast ocean of experiences… sighs… touches… love. The ocean isn’t smooth, there are waves, storms and even some icebergs along the way, but, you have a co-captain along the journey.  The parasite isn’t dead and whispers in your ear at your most vulnerable, but now it is the one locked in the ice and you are basking in the warmth of renewal…hope…and dreams of journeys to come.

 

Good to be back Momginerdians!

 

 

Love and all that, Nic

 

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Millennial is not a bad word

Momginerd
Can you hear me now?  No, Please text it to me.
R U getting this? No? TTYL8R!



So recently and not so recently, I have seen a lot of complaining about “millennials.”  Hell, I have made some comments myself.  However, if you truly pay attention to them you may be surprised.  Sure, they spend all their time on their phones/laptops and sometimes conversations with them are less forthcoming and understandable than a Neanderthal, but they seriously have some fantastic morals and awareness that I know I did not have at their age.  For example, almost every one of my oldest’s millennial friends were extremely aware of the election as the platforms.  Even though most were not old enough to vote.  They had interpersonal debates, discussions and delved deep into public policy, women’s rights, consumerism, and foreign policy.  

 They also have a true touch on the future of the planet.  You know the one WE are supposed to be protecting for them?  THEY may end up saving it for us! We call my kids the recycling nazi’s because they will honestly chastise me if I put the wrong bottle in the wrong bin.  My son and daughter even compost in the summer!  

Another thing I have noticed about Millennials is that they genuinely love “people.”  By this, I mean they are open minded, forgiving and accepting.  Empathy is valued more than criticism.   I have witnessed open and honest conversations between teens that have deep tones of empathy for each other….yes, they are done via Snaps, Lines, MMS, etc and not face to face, but they are doing it.  And this isn’t just girls, it is the boys too.  The millennial young men I have known are not afraid to express themselves and their feelings.  They stand up for themselves and do not discount their or their friends’ feelings.  They not only accept individual differences, but truly seem to embrace and make efforts to understand the “why” of differences.  
Some may call them “liberals” in a snide or dismissive way.  Or say that they are unrealistic and romanticizing real life.  However, historically speaking, they said the same thing about flight, women’s rights, and autonomous cars….
Millennials have a lot to say and a lot of it is awesome.  Maybe we should stop criticizing them and

start listening.  We may need to adapt to the new genres of communication and not expect them to go back to telephones with 5foot cords in the kitchen.  We may just learn something important.

Cheers!
Momginerd
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That one time my kid yelled Cock in public….

Momginerd
Don’t let this cute face fool you

 
Today I am going with Minion 1 to a Chinese New Years celebration.  It is going to be great fun and educational and I am really looking forward to the event.  However, I can’t help but recall when we went for a family dinner at our local favorite Chinese restaurant about 6 years ago.

Princepessa was about 5 years old and just mastering the art of reading.  We all sit down and there are Chinese zodiac placemats on the table.  Which, as a parent with 3 small kids, are a good way to distract them from trying to stab each other with chopstick until food arrives.  We are all reading them and discussing the different characteristics associated with each sign.  Well, eventually we get to determining which animal is for each of us.

Audrey and I are both year of the Rooster.  However, this restaurant has a cock as the title.  Which in this day and age RARELY refers to the king of the hen house.  So, Princepessa sees this, and YELLS!  Mom, I have a Cock!  To which all the neighboring tables begin to giggle.  Which (as any parent will attest) only encouraged her.  I mean she is the 3rd child so attention was a bit thin for her….

She continues to read the dates and asks me which year I was born.  When she looks it up she yells, even louder now she has an audience….YOU have a cock too!  But yours must be bigger because you are so much older than me!!!

Image result for chinese zodiac placemat

I was literally torn between hiding under the table in embarrassment or to hide the laughing to keep from encouraging her more.  The poor waitress saw our distress and amusement and was giggling as well.  I could hear her telling the story back in the kitchen.  The owner of the restaurant came out and gave Princepessa a high five for her reading skills….and a free meal.

Which only encouraged her more….

For the next couple months every flying animal was a “cock.”

Image result for robin
Look mom!  A red breasted cock!

And it kept on going….

Image result for sriracha
Cock Sauce

So, today as I attend this dinner my number one goal is to not laugh during any cock related zodiac stories.

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Gary Won’t Be Back

Momginerd

Hello Momginerd fans.  First off, I want to say it is good be back in the blogosphere.  I had a looong dry spell of total lack of motivation and interest in writing.  Recently, I have felt motivated again.  Not sure how often I will post here, but figured it was better than writing books on Facebook.  haha!

So, I am an engineer. In this function usage of a laptop is integral to my job.  Daily.  I sometimes have 6-7 Excel spreadsheets, Layout files and PowerPoint documents open at any one time.  For you non-nerdy people, this takes a LOT of RAM and generally needs a decent sized monitor.  My company, although awesome, is stingy with computer updates.  My current laptop is over 3 years old. Which in digital terms makes it align with the Tyrannosaurus Rex or maybe a car with crank windows.

Actual keyboard I use daily

Luckily, I received an email notification that I was (finally) due to trade in my lapasaurus for a brand new shiny Yugo version computer.  I was very excited and followed the instructions; happily picking my engineering mobile workstation from the 3 approved choices allowed.  I received confirmation that said a mobile workstation with UPGRADED RAM would be delivered when I returned from our annual vacation.  Yay me!

Hello Momginerd, I am here to make your dreams come true!
Fast forward to day of the great upgrade.   First off, I was scheduled for 8:00 AM and arranged my calendar accordingly to allow for no access for the 2 hours they allotted.  When I log in, I see that they have moved the appointment to 3:00 PM.  Strike One. 
3:00 rolls around and Gary the IT guy rolls in with a big smile.  I smile back and am dreaming of uber fast processing speeds and a new sleekly designed laptop (shhh!  I am a nerd, we like these things).  Then, I look at what he is holding and it looks like something from my nightmares.  It was a tiny Disney princess tablet looking thing!  Those of you who know me, can imagine my response.  For those newbies, I will give you some highlights.
Me: Um, I think you have the wrong computer.  I need an engineering laptop.
Gary (not his real name): No Momginerd, here is the invoice right here that has your name on it.
Me:  NO, here is the email I received and as you can see it clearly outlines the specs for an ENGINEERING laptop.  I show him my card: Momginerd, ENGINEER EXTRAORDINARE.  
Gary:  Let me talk to my manager…..
Me: Yes, you do that. (strike two)
15 minutes pass…..
Gary: (who has now started to twitch a bit upon approaching me) Momginerd? Umm..I talked to my manager….
Me:……..
Gary: Well, you see, ummm, he said that this is your new laptop…..*blushes profusely
Me: No it isn’t.  
Gary:  Well, you know, ummm…I have heard of this happening a lot lately…but ummm this is your laptop (he is backing away only to be trapped by the corner of the cube farm).
Me:  Well Gary, you have just admitted to a flaw in your system.  If a lot of people are saying this is a mistake, then surely you understand my inability to further the problem and enable future victims by not accepting this laptop.  I will keep my lapasaurus until this is figured out. 
Gary:  Let me go talk to my manager……..
Me: You do that…. (strike 2.5)
15 minutes pass
Gary (who is now sweating profusely and seems to have lost the ability to speak without stuttering): mmmmooomm gi gi gi gi nerd? Um. he like said you like have to like take it.
Me: No I don’t, because if I log in to it even one time it becomes an asset assigned to my name, so I refuse since it is not technically MY laptop but a mistake.  
Gary: ummmmmm…..well, ummm….hmmmm…
Me:  Thank you for your time (not really).  But it is now time for me to leave.  Have a great evening. (strike three, I am outta there)
I then proceeded to pack up my lapasaurus and leave him standing alone in my space.  I thought I smelled a slight odor of urine as I walked by.
Today I logged into my email and found an email.  A scheduling appointment for a 15″ ENGINEERING laptop.  I will name her Lola and we will make many happy spreadsheets together.  
Bets are on as to which IT tech will come to deliver it to me.  My bet is it will NOT be Gary.
Happy to be back, please like/share/comment if you enjoyed this!
Momginerd
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Things Kids Say, pt 2

Momginerd

Like most families, our schedule is very chaotic and overwhelming.  One thing I insist on is everyone sitting down together for dinner.  Of course, this means sometimes we eat dinner at 4:30 PM, and other times at 8:00 PM.  I do this because I think it is a great time to commune over food and really get to have the kids attention.  There are just a couple of rules we enforce for our dinner:

1.  Use your manners.  Practicing at home means you will not forget them when you are out at a restaurant or  eating at a friend’s house.By manners we mean, no elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed, and keep bodily functional noises away (and I have a BOY, so farting and burping are things he takes great pride in doing well).

2.  Take what you get, and don’t throw a fit.  I work hard all day and make concerted efforts to cook at least one thing per meal that everyone will enjoy.  It takes a lot of coordination and planning to make a healthy family dinner after a long day at work.  I will not tolerate bitching and complaining about WHAT I have prepared.  If you don’t like it, don’t eat it….but there will not be any dessert or snacking later.  And being Momginerd, yes, I have an APP for that.  It is called Evernote, and it ROCKS!

Last year I started a tradition where we all go around the table answering 1 question.  This has led to some pretty funny responses from the offspring.

Me:   What do you want to be when you grow up?
Princepessa (7): I want to be a millionaire pet shop owning artist.
Me: How she will you BECOME a millionare?
Princepessa: Marry someone rich, duh.
Me:  Why don’t you earn your own money?
Princepessa:  Because if a boy is dumb enough to give me his money, why shouldn’t I just do what I like? Me:  “crickets”

Me:  Bubbie, when do you want to get your hair cut?  (His hair is pretty long, and he has even be mistaken as a girl on occasion).
Bubbie (9):  I don’t.
Me: Why not?
Bubbie:  The ladies love the locks, mom.
Me:  Okay then……

Me: Manudo, put down those electronics and come to the table.
Manudo (13):  grumble, grumble grumble.
Me: I don’t understand why you kids are so ADDICTED to those electronics!  When I was a kid we used to go OUTSIDE and play with other real life people!
Manudo:  Looking over at my 2 lap tops, iPad, Kindle, iPhone “Jeeze mom, I don’t know where we get it from.”
Me:  “………….”

Nic

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Things that make me want to stab myself in the eye

Momginerd

Soooooo….I was going to resolve to be less sarcastic this year, but then I didn’t.  Life is just to damn stressful and quirky to not allow oneself some small self-gratifications.  Sarcasm is my coping mechanism.  I wish that my sarcasm was paired with a better self-filter sometimes, but most of the time the people who are around me know how to take me.  While perusing the web I was inundated with different images that made me want to stab out my own eye. I just couldn’t help but say to myself   “Whuck the hell were you thinking?”

Seriously?  Whuck!?!  Why the hell would anyone WANT these nails?  How in the hell does she wipe her ass or wash her hair?  I am guessing she thinks she has some really cool nails, but no one can get close enough to her to check them out because of her overwhelming stench.  Is that middle finger supposed to be a bottle opener or something?  Is the thumb a corkscrew?  Because if so, THEN I can see the practicality of those nails!

And here is the next submission to WHUCK are you thinking?  Unless this man is independently wealthy, I am guessing his career choices are severely limited.  I mean, I wouldn’t even want him to make my burrito supreme from Taco Bell.  What if something fell out of that hole in his nose into my food?  I only hope he is a tattoo artist or something.  If not, I am sure his parents are still bugging him to clean his room in the basement.  Momginerd is not against tattoos, in fact she even has TWO, however, she also believes in the fact that to be successful you pretty much have to not scare the shit out of old people and young children.  Hell, this guy scared the shit out of me even with that pleasant dreamy smile on his face.

Look again, this isn’t porn!

Now, I am all for keeping cool when it is hot, but I am also for not making people think they are looking at something pornographic when really it is just an assault to the eyes.  Whuck was she thinking?  Didn’t the dude shopping with her have an opinion   What is with the tie holding the straps together?  Is that to offer more support for her backboobs?  I can’t stop looking at this picture and wondering how the hell did she get her backboobs to do that?  Where are the nipples was my next thought.

Happy New Year!
Momginerd

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The good news is your son doesn’t have dyslexia…

Momginerd

My son Bubbie has been struggling in school.  Not your normal “Your son is slightly behind,” or “Your son is fidgety and disruptive” kind of struggles either.  Bubbie can not write.  You can BARELY read his own name when he writes it down.  He also can not spell….not even simple words like “the.”  He is in 4th grade, so this is totally unacceptable.  I have been to numerous meetings with the school, but was told that because his overall academic performance fell within the “normal” range he was ineligible for services.  In my heart I knew something major was going on.  Bubbie is a people pleaser by nature and was very depressed and self-critical over his academic and sports performances.  He WANTS to do well and he just couldn’t.  

I took him to be independently tested by a Developmental Neurologist.  She ran her tests and came in and said:  I have good news and bad news.  The good news is Bubbie doesn’t have dyslexia.  The bad news is he has Dysgraphia, fine-motor dyspraxia, severe vision disturbances, and ADHD.  

I was floored.  All these years I have been telling everyone that would listen that there is more going on with Bubbie than just ADHD. But it was falling on deaf ears, or if his teacher KNEW that Bubbie needed special help his hands were tied by the fact he did not have any formalized medical diagnosis.  

Dysgraphia:  a learning disability that affects writing, which requires a complex set of motor and information processing skills. Dysgraphia makes the act of writing difficult. It can lead to problems with spelling, poor handwriting, and putting thoughts on paper. People with dysgraphia can have trouble organizing letters, numbers, and words on a line or page. This can result partly from:

  • Visual-spatial difficulties: trouble processing what the eye sees
  • Language processing difficulty: trouble processing and making sense of what the ear hears

    Here is what Bubbie’s writing looks like:
Most times he can’t even read it

Dyspraxia: a term that refers to a specific disorder in the area of motor skill development. People with dyspraxia have difficulty planning and completing intended fine motor tasks. 

  • Coordination difficulties can be particularly problematic in physical education classes and other sports activities.
  • Writing difficulties such as poor letter formation, pencil grip and slow writing can make school work frustrating.

Visual Disturbances:  Bubbie has visual disturbances both in eye tracking and eye teaming.  In a nutshell, this means that his eyes do not work together.  So for him, most writing looks like the bottom line to the right.  This means that his brain then has to decode what he sees and/or decide which eye is going to dominant, neurologically shutting down all inputs from the non-dominant eye.  Because the brain does this, he is unable to track moving objects in his field of vision.  So, for example when playing sports he either sees 2 balls coming at him, or he can not “follow” the person carrying the ball.

Bubbie the next Gatorade spokesma

Add ADHD into the mix described above, and basically it is a miracle and a testament to Bubbie’s intelligence level and temperament that he has achieved as much as he has both academically and physically.  He has played football (not well, but not horribly either) for 4 years.  He played baseball for 4 years and actually made some pretty good catches and plays this year.  He reads above grade level and can do long division in his head (even though he can’t write down his answers).   He is well liked by his peers, and his classmates actually protect him and stand up for him.  He does have a lot of anxiety and frustration levels, but has been working really hard to be in “better control” as he calls it.  I am so VERY proud to have this wonderful child in my life who is teaching me that when life hands you lemons you make lemonade.  I strongly feel that BECAUSE Bubbie has had to overcome so many obstacles as a child, he will be a very successful adult who will not quit or give up when presented with seemingly insurmountable problems.  He will have the skills to break them down into manageable parts and realize that he can DO ANYTHING he sets his mind to achieving.  

There is a lot of hope and hard work in the next couple of years for Bubbie.  He will finally be getting and Individualized Education Plan through his school.  This means he will be getting occupational therapy, assisted technology (laptop or tablet), as well as any accommodations he needs to reach his full potential academically, interpersonally and physically.  He will also be going to occupational therapy to help him train his right and left sides of his brain to communicate with his body (he can’t skip, or successfully touch his right hand to his left foot, for example).  He will also be seeing a developmental optometrist to work on the eye teaming and tracking.  Of all the developmental concerns he has this one is probably the easiest to overcome through vision therapy.  

The best news is WE FINALLY have a diagnosis and are working on a plan!  It is like a huge boulder has been lifted from my shoulders.  Bubbie is also relieved to know that all of his academic problems weren’t “because he didn’t try enough.”  

To all you parents and families and individuals that struggle with learning disabilities, I salute you and have much respect for the paths that you have forged allowing my son to be able to get the help he not only needs but deserves!

With much gratitude to medical science,
Momginerd

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Stop and THINK before you post!

Momginerd

Warning, this is a rant post.  If you are here today for some humor, you will most likely be disappointed.  Granted, there may be snippets of sarcasm, but this is a subject matter that is serious and deserves a serious post.

Recently I posted a link to a YouTube video of a very pretty, talented and sad girl named Amanda Todd on my Facebook page.  Since then (and NO I am not taking credit for the blow up, lol, I am sure it was coincidental), there has been a lot of discussion about this young lady and her tragic story which ultimately led to her suicide.  Her story has gone viral, and I see at least 30 – 40 people re-posting either the original video or links to a page dedicated to her on my oldest daughter’s Facebook page.  Does this girl deserve to be remembered?  YES!  Does my heart break for her? ABSOLUTELY!  Do I think she could have avoided what happened if she had the ability to think of consequences? Maybe.  I urge us all to look at the entire story and the circumstances that went into what led to her ultimate decision to take her own life. Use this not only as a lesson about what impact there is when a child is bullied, but as a lesson to teach our children that there are consequences for their digital actions. Stop and THINK before you post!

I am CONSTANTLY telling Manudo to think not once, not twice, not three times, but 100 times before posting a photo of herself on any of the multitude of social networking sites to which she currently belongs.  The list includes: Twitter, Facebook, GifBoom, Skype, Instagram, etc.  Some of these give the false impression that if you post something, decide it is inappropriate or you don’t like it, that you can choose to edit or remove the content.  I have news for you: Once something is on the Internet, it is there FOREVER.    All it takes is for one person to save that image to their personal computer and repost it…just like what happened in Amanda’s case.

If you have kids in the 12 – 17 age range, I am sure that they have at least a Facebook page.  My challenge to you is to log into your child’s Facebook page (and if you don’t have access to your minor child’s page, then shame on you), and look at what they are posting, Instant Messaging, and HIDING from you.  Also, look at what their so called friends are posting.  I will guarantee you that you will find any number of inappropriate posts/pictures/comments that will make you want to wash your eyes out with bleach.  On my daughter’s feed I have seen “friends” calling each other: Gay, Homo, Loser, Ugly, Bitch, Slut, Dick, Asshole, Stupid, Thug, Retard, Nigga’, Butt Buddy, Fat, Anorexic, Pimple Faced, the list goes on and on and on.  Seriously, if you have “friends” who do this to you what would your enemies be saying?  What is even more disturbing to me, as a mother, is the way that girls and boys are constantly “pimping” themselves out there by asking for “rates” on their photos.  Some will take multiple photos daily and post them to the site.  Not even an hour will go by  and they post they are depressed because their photo didn’t get as many “likes” or comments as they felt necessary to make them feel like a worthwhile human beings.  I have seen 12 and 13 year old girls posting pictures of their “cleavage”, full length bikini pictures (with the caption, do I look fat?), pictures of their asses, and sexually suggestive photos of themselves.  I have seen 12 and 13 year old girls posting about liking sex, wanting to “blow” someone, and pictures of themselves kissing and making out.  Whatever happened to the saying “Pretty is as Pretty Does?”  And the girls aren’t alone, boys are doing just as inappropriate texting/posting/etc.

I was very surprised, and impressed, when one of my daughter’s friends posted this picture:

BOTH stories are sad, but, could one have ended differently if they thought about the consequences of their actions?  Bullying is a very serious issue.  I also know I have been guilty of thinking “Well, I was bullied as a kid, and I grew up and was fine.”  However, kids who are bullied today face the fact that their torment is documented and shared virally, while the rest of us older than 20 only had to make it through the day at school.  These poor kids are stalked in ways we can only imagine.  It makes me nauseated to just think of it, and even more ill to think of how I would handle it if my child was the target of such bullying as Amanda or any number of other children who are just trying to fit in today.

All I know is I am and WILL monitor my children’s social media until they are 18.  Our deal is if you want access to these sites, you have to give me your log-in information.  Same rule applies to cell phones and texting.  It isn’t because I am nosy and do not respect my kids privacy, it is because I am their mother and my first job is to protect them, not FRIEND them.

Rant over.  I am sure many of you disagree, but if you think I made any valid points, please talk to your kids and better yet, share this post with your friends.

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Anxiety….Why do things have to come out?

Momginerd

We all have anxieties or things that make us feel anxious.  I have quite a few, but none are as embarrassing as my fear of things that come out of the human body.

One of my biggest ones is lutropublicaphobia (OMG, I want to use that in words with friends so bad).  This is the fear of “going” in public restrooms.  I really don’t have a problem with using a public restroom….it is I just freak out a bit if ANYONE else happens to be in said restroom.  AND, I get uber-panicked if I don’t have to just pee.

My favorite type of bathroom…NO stalls!

There have been more instances than I can ever count when I have to “go” so I head to my work restroom.  All the while I am PRAYING and talking to myself that there PLEASE not be ANYONE in there when I open the door.  Most of the time, if some poor soul has had the gall to actually use MY bathroom, I will simply leave and then stalk the door waiting for them to leave.    


Nothing is worse than having a “taco bell syndrome” day….and I have those frequently due to side-effects of my medications.  I mean, how do you call in to work and say you can’t come in because you have to poop a lot that day?  Think my boss would be sympathetic?  My male boss who actually PEES standing up right next to other people???????  I think not.

My fear of bodily functions extends itself to pretty much anything coming out of a body that isn’t words.  I have never passed gas in the presence of Hottie Husband (okay, maybe that one time when I sneezed, and I was mortified!).  I try to not burp or belch either.  I realize that this is not “normal,” but I can’t help myself.  

I pretty much have issues with anything that comes out of anyone’s body, unless it is a baby.  For example, my kids are at the age where they are losing teeth.  It grosses me out so much when those teeth are wiggling and the kids are SO damn proud.  I just want to put a bag over their heads until the damn thing is gone and I don’t have to look at it any more.  

One time Manudo had a VERY loose tooth that really bothering her.  She couldn’t get it out and was in tears begging me to help her.  I took a shot of vodka, sat her on the toilet, straddled her, reached in, pulled out the tooth, then immediately got light headed.  As soon as I regained consciousness, I was running all over the house holding that damn tooth like it was an Olympic torch and I just won the Gold Medal of parenting.  

Yeah Muthafracker! I pulled that tooth!

I also have problems with snot and boogers.  This one time (not at band camp), I had a friend who had kids the same ages as mine.  We used to have playdates frequently….until that one fateful day.  We were at my house and her son, who we will call Lizard, was playing with Bubbie.  All was well, and the mommies were having nice discussions about whose kid was smarter (duh, MINE), when I happened to glance over to where the boys were playing.  Lizard was sitting there playing with Legos when I noticed he had some snot about to drip.  I turned to mention it to Lizard’s Mom and offer her a Kleenex, when Lizard calmly stuck out his tongue and stuck it UP HIS NOSE to lick away the snot……I swear I am not exaggerating when I say I screamed and threw up in my mouth.  Needless to say, I was suddenly very busy when Lizard wanted to have more playdates.  

Like this but UP HIS NOSE!!!!!


So, do you have any anxieties?  Do they inhibit you in any way?  How WEIRD am I?


Nic

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They Call Me Mama Bear

Momginerd

Kids and sports is always a hot topic.  Especially when it is YOUR kid playing a sport, and you (the parent) feel your kid has been wronged.  Let me preface this rant by setting the facts:

  1. My kid is small…like 25% for height and less than that for weight small.
  2. He plays tackle football, some of the kids are DOUBLE his weight or more.
  3. I do NOT want him to play, he is the one who is insistent and always ready and anxious to go to practice.
  4. He has not missed a single practice and is there giving his best 10 or more hours per week.
  5. He is no where near being the best on the team, nor is he the worst.  But even if he was the worst, he still loves to play and deserves a fair chance.
  6. I have never, nor would I ever, even dream of telling a coach how to teach the game of Football to his team.  I know NOTHING about it other than the fact that the helmet and pads are pains in the ass to get on and off.
Olympic runner  Oscar Pistorius 
Now, I DO know some things about motivation from my past as a children’s counselor and my present as a team leader at work.  Here are some of the truths that I believe, as a leader and as a parent, that are a MUST to be a successful role model/leader/coach.
  1. When kids are young, they respond to positive reinforcement.  Ignoring or exclusion is NOT the way to get them to do their best for you.
  2. At 12 years old and younger it is MOST important to teach kids the fundamentals of the game, the value of team work, and to do so in a way that raises their confidence levels and allows them to have some fun.
  3. Winning is NOT everything.  At young ages it really is more about HOW you play the game.
  4. Not everyone deserves a trophy, but everyone deserves an equal and fair chance at earning one.
  5. 99.999% of the kids on pee-wee leagues will never ever be good enough to get college scholarships for sports, much less play in the pros.  However, the confidence and lessons they learn from being valued as a team member MAY help them to become future leaders and successful in their careers.
  6. Focusing on a perceived negative feature of a person will not help them to overcome their fears.  If a kid has determination and desire, they have the ability to overlook their short-comings and work through them.  Do you think Oscar Pistorius’ coaches focused on the fact he was a paraplegic, or do you think they focused on ways to help him be the best in spite of his limitations?
  7. Singling out a child in a negative way will ALWAYS backfire on you, especially when the child did NOTHING wrong.  It is noticed not only by the child being singled out, but by every other kid on the team.
  8. Breaking or bending the rules to fit your needs as a leader will always be noted and unfavorably received by your team.  What is good for YOU and YOUR child, better be just as good or better for the rest of team or you will suffer great criticism.
  9. If you do make decisions that will make a child upset, have the courtesy to explain the reasoning behind your decisions.  Kids are smart and they know when they are being discounted or underestimated or disrespected.
  10. If a parent comes up to you with a concern, DO NOT LIE to them.  Trust me, they have been watching and for every one concern they bring to your attention, they have held back 100 for fear of retaliation on their child.
  11. Parents of other kids do respect and have gratitude for what you do….even more if you do it in a fair and equitable manner.
Rant over…..for now!
Nic
If you want to read more about my adventures in team sports, check out this blast from the past: True story about Bubbie, Football and Bugs