Author: Momginerd

Hello! I am a Mom, Engineer, and Nerd. I am just a woman trying to keep all the balls of life in the air and not drop them too often! This blog is more a personal reflection for myself that others have oftentimes found helpful, thoughtful or interesting. I hope you enjoy it as well!
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My Favorite "Time Fillers"

Momginerd
I have the sort of job where it is either running at full tilt in a total panic….or waiting.  I have to say I much prefer the panic days as the work hours go by much more quickly.  Unfortunately, there are periods of waiting for a purchase order or similar that can last a week or longer.  During those periods, I try to do work related research…but, honestly I also spend time on some of my favorite time filler websites and aps.  Since I started using my iPhone, I have found that there are really cool time-fillers in the form of Aps and Games.  I am not putting the ususal suspects like FaceBook or Twitter, but more of the places/Aps I personally like that may be new to you.
Here they are, in no particular order (again, lists rule my life)
  1. Angry Birds:  Pretty much any version of this game will suck me in and make me beg one of my children to defeat a level for me.  Lately, I have been on the Angry Birds Space edition.  It is SO awesome because you have to take into consideration the orbit and gravity.   

2.  Sh*t My Kids Have Ruined: This is a website dedicated to users uploading pictures of items in their households their children have either destroyed, ruined, or added some artistic flavor to with their permanent markers.  This website is definitely not to be used as a parenting manual, but it has some truly epic parenting FAILS that will make you laugh till you pee on yourself (okay, maybe not YOU but I have had 3 kids so don’t judge).



I am sure the dog didn’t mind…NOT



3.  Regretsy:  Oh my Maude, if you can look at some of the craptastic stuff on this site and not go WHUCK? Your brain is made of different stuff than mine.  This site puts up REAL items that are for sale by Etsy or eBay that truly show how some people will call anything Art.  Even what looks to me like a bunch of melted wax vaguely resembling a nose with light bulbs for boogers.  The biggest shocker is this was SOLD to someone.  Who, what, where….I don’t even think I want to know the type of person that would put a light bulb booger blowing nose up in their house.  I am sure someone in that house is instructing it to put the lotion on…..
4.  Go Away:  This is a blog by David Thorne.  This blog will make you laugh until you cry.  He basically makes it his mission to use sarcasm and wit to annoy his co-workers.  Please be sure to check out his post called “Missing Missy.”  I love that post so much that I actually read it aloud to my department and showed the pictures….Unfortunately, they really didn’t understand what I was saying because I was laughing so hard my words were unintelligible!
5.  Pinterest:  They need to call it CRACKerest, because it is that addictive.   I have the mobile ap for my phone, a “Pin it” button on all my browsers, and check in on my pins or pin something almost as much as I check my FB account.  It is an invite only type thing, but they aren’t too picky (obviously since I got an account) on who they let in….if you need an invite leave me a comment and I can send one to you.  It really isn’t only a waste of time, because I use it almost like a virtual post-it note.  If I am looking for ideas for my garden, I will pin the picture to refer to later….same goes with recipes to try, places I’d like to travel, etc…. If you have never been to this site, please consider this your warning to check out a 12 step program prior to becoming addicted ;-).

6. Damn you auto correct:  I have to put a disclaimer that this is not an at work time filler.  Big Brother blocks it, and it is a good thing, because most of these contain strong adult language.  However, it is SO funny.  I don’t even care if they are all fake, I enjoy them just for the laughs.  Anyone who has ever had a smartphone and likes to text has been the victim of autocorrect.  Personally, my autocorrect kept turning the my Hottie Husband’s name into the word Tuna, so now his poor kids are known as the Tunas in our house (not to their faces, but as in “what time are you picking up the tunas?”).

7.  Words With Friends:  LOVE this ap on my iPhone which is also linked to my FaceBook account.  It is scrabble that you can play with your friends (duh!).  I usually have 6 – 8 games going simultaneously and have learned so many new words that I just thought I made up, but were actually REAL words!  Did you know that “Metope” is a REAL word, and not just a cool way to use the letter P (turns out it is an architectual term for the distance between 2 tryglyphs…now I want to use tryglyphs in Words With Friends!)?

What are some of your favorite time fillers?  Not that I need another addiction, but I am always on the look out for a great laugh!

Until next time….you can follow me on Pinterest, Twitter and check out my Momginerd FaceBook page!
Nic

P.S. If you like this blog, can you do me a favor and hit the “like” button over on the left and share it with your friends?

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Gadgets and Aps that Make My Life Easier

Momginerd

Being a self-proclaimed Mom-Engineer-Nerd (momginerd), I am often asked for advice on technological items that I would recommend.  Although I am not really an expert on gadgets and tech, I LOVE them.  So, I thought I’d share some of the items/aps that make my life easier or more enjoyable and hope that you will add a comment at the end of the Blog on some of the things you like too!

These will be in no particular order, but I like lists 😉

1.  iPhone

 I used to be a die-hard BlackBerry Girl.  I would look down my nose at iPhone or Droid users and think that those are TOYS whereas I have a real workhorse in my crackberry.  I liked the blackberry because I could get my work email and calendar delivered directly to the phone.  This was HUGE as a working mom with 3 kids, as it gave me the ability to stay in touch with work, while still taking the kids to the doctor, going on field trips, etc.  When my company announced they were going to start supporting iPhones with Good to do the same thing and simultaneously my Bold started acting up (for the 3rd time in a year), I took the plunge and ordered my iPhone.  And let me tell you, it has been a double edged sword.  Whereas before my phone was used as, well a phone, for email and calendar and texting, that was about it.  Now, my iPhone is like an umbilical cord attached to all aspects of my life. Without it I wouldn’t remember to take my meds, read the news, or check FaceBook.  Because of this flexibility I also have become entrenched in the Curse phenomena known as Words With Friends.  I also check FaceBook a lot more since I can now do it on my phone more easily. 

2.  Evernote

This is an Ap that is available for all smartphones, PC’s, and Tablets.  It is basically a “get yo’ shit organized” Ap that is FREE!  In order for me to maintain any semblance or sanity and not lose my schmidt on a daily basis I do a lot of list making, note taking, calendar planning.  Evernote works in that I can do this and COMMUNICATE the lists I have made to Hottie Husband seamlessly.  For example,  HH was grocery shopping (yes, he does this, NO you can’t have him), and I remembered I forgot to add kale to the shopping list.  I simply went to the Evernote Ap and added it to the list.  Meanwhile HH was shopping from his Evernote Ap and didn’t even know that I had added this item.  This also works for adding things I want but am too guilty to buy (Ice Cream).  *Ahem*

3.  Say Mmmm

This is a website that allows you to plan menus, store recipes and create and organize grocery lists.  It has made menu planning SO much easier for me.  I religiously plan the weekly menus every Sunday.  the BEST part about Say Mmmm is that it LINKS TO EVERNOTE!!!!!  So I can create my menu, look up recipes and then send the weekly menu, recipes and grocery list all to Evernote.  I also send it to my kids Evernote accounts and I no longer hear 100 times per day, “what’s for dinner.” Bonus, bonus, bonus!

4. Kindle

This is version of Kindle I currently own.  It is my second Kindle. I read voraciously, probably 3 – 4 books per month.  I also like to read 2 – 3 books simultaneously.  An eReader is a great invention for me, because I don’t have to carry around multiple books, just the light and compact reader!  Of course now I am drooling over the newest version the Kindle Fire.  AND here is the thing, I will still be keeping my old one for reading during lunch breaks, taking to kids sporting practices etc.  I just need want the Fire for the backlit screen, ability to watch movies, play games, and for magazines.  Why not an iPad, I have been asked.  And for me, it is mostly a matter of cost.  Why spend $500 for an iPad when I can spend less than half that on a Fire and have all the things an iPad does?  I already have an iPhone, so I just am (for right now) not interested in investing more money into an iPad which is an overgrown iPhone, without the phone.  We are already avid supporters of Amazon.com, so streaming movies from their Prime site is very appealing.  That is, of course, not to say I would not accept an iPad if it were offered, feel free to let me know if you’d like to donate one to me ;).

5. Waze

This is a navigation application for SmartPhones.  It is a unique approach to navigation because it crosses navigation with social media.  As you are driving, if you see an accident, traffic jam, etc you simply push a simple icon on the screen and it sends your report to all other drivers near you.  Every time you stop, it will flash the local traffic  issues on your screen.  When you use the navigation portion of the application, it will look at your route and suggest alternative routes to save time if there are reported traffic issues.  I commute 40 miles each way to work on the busiest roads.  This application has saved me countless lost minutes and episodes of road rage already.  Waze is a must, in my opinion for commuters!  I also found this neat dash pad mat for my iPhone that allows it to stick to the dashboard without doing any permanent damage.  I have been using it for 2 months and it has never allowed My Precious (iPhone’s nickname) to fall! 

What are some of your favorite Aps and Gadgets?  Any I need to add to my (ever growing) list?

Nic

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Tragedy…….

Momginerd

My community has experienced a tradgedy.  One of our own has taken his own life.  He left behind a wonderful family including a lovely wife and 5 children.  This has affected me in many ways, and forced me to take a good long look in the mirror.  Why?, you may be asking.  My answer is because it is very easy to be irate and sad.  Instead, I am forcing myself to try and look to the positive.  I know this sounds so very contradictory, but if I allow myself to wallow in the negative feelings, it is easy to ascertain that I too will become depressed and in a negative mind frame….Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I was there.  I was SO very angry for survivors of this tragedy.  But, I decided that my anger is misguided.  I need to do something to help, because my anger is not going to make this family’s struggles any easier.  This family is going to have a very difficult struggle not just emotionally, but financially as well. 

I went to the memorial service, and I believe this is where my focus began to change from anger to empathy and compassion.  There were SO many people there all there to support the family.  There were children, parents, family, friends, clergy, teachers, principals, acquaintances and even strangers.  All there to let this family know that WE will not desert them.  There were donation cards for a trust set up for the children’s education, and when I went through the line, almost all of the envelopes were gone!  I am part of a group that are gathering our collective financial and experintial resources to assist the family in getting their home in order.  They were in the middle of a major remodel that the husband was doing himself.  The remaining family does not have the skills nor resources to complete the job, and I would guess they will not be able to afford to pay a contractor.  So, we are gathering money, construction materials and people with experience to go and get the house at least livable.  It is a small thing in the grand scheme, but to me, as a mom, having a HOME to live in that is safe and welcoming is an important part of helping this family to heal. 
I am proud of my community.  Let’s face it, I live in a major metropolitan area, and many of us do not even know the names of the people who live in our neighborhood.  Yet, in the face of a tragedy we all came together and took joy in the fact that the family seems to be doing okay, given the circumstances.  Also, when a tragedy like th is happens, it has an effect on everyone. 
 This family is admired by all who have ever had the good fortune to meet any of them. The children are all gifted in thier own ways, but mostly in their ready smiles, politeness, and uniqueness that has inspired others.  Their mother is a saint, I mean, would’t you have to be to have 5 well adjusted, well mannered, educationally successful kids?  But, if nothing else I have learned that how people appear to casual acquaintences, and maybe even to close friends, is not how people really are behind the closed doors of their homes.  All I know is that he was not in his right mind.  I knew him as a very loving father, dedicated worker and compassionate partner to his wife…not the type of person who would take his own life.  It is so very sad that it took a tragedy to bond us together.   We all need to realize that the phrase “one never knows” is so very true.  You may THINK you know, but at the end of the day, we are all cluelessly going on with our lives and hoping we are doing more good than harm.



Stages of Grief



This tragedy has opened my eyes to look at people differently, and I think it has had a similar effect on many other people as well.  All of us who knew this family are greiving in our own way, but none more than the family.  As much as we all want to help, sometimes our ideas of helping are not that helpful.  I ran into the mother at the grocery store and she commented to me that everyone is trying to be so helpful, but she needed to go to the grocery on her own because it was “something normal.”  And I felt guilty, because I was immediately angry for her that she had to go to the store!  Talk about opening my eyes, and I am ashamed it took the person most connected to the tragedy to point out to me that for her doing something “normal” is how she is coping.  Everyone experiences grief and healing differently, and it is not for us to judge.  We need to accept and support, but never ever judge, because at the end of the day, you really do not know HOW you would react to an event of this magnitude unless you have lived the person’s life. 
So, I am going to focus on being empathetic and not being angry.  If I happen upon any of the family, I will greet them in the same manner I always have, and IF any of them want to talk, hug, joke around, whatever, I will gladly join in without judgement for how they are grieving.  Grief is personal, pain is subjective, and healing is individualized.

Until next time,
Nic

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Food Allergies, they are real and not just something to inconvenience you

Momginerd
As you may, or may not, know Bubbie had SEVERE food allergies for a long time.  Thankfully, he has out grown most of his so we have a mostly “normal” life, now.  But before, my life was consumed with worry and guilt.  Yes, I was THAT mom who caused all the other parents to have to limit what their kids could have for snacks and treats in the classroom.  Of the 8 main food allergens, Bubbie was allergic to six.  At one time he could have no wheat, eggs, dairy, soy, peanuts, or tree nuts.  He also had oral-allergy syndrome, which is when seasonal allergies mimic food allergies (and if you think this sounds easy, take a look in your cabinet at the ingredients in some of the foods you use daily).  During Spring and Summer, he also could have no melon, avocado, banana, apple or pear.  
We found out about his allergies when he was only about 2 months old.  I was still breastfeeding and he was not gaining any weight and started having severe gastrointestinal issues.  Just imagine you go to change your baby’s diaper and it is filled with bright red blood.  Bubbie was living in constant pain from the damage what I was eating was passing into his food.  He had serious reflux, and no lie, would spit up so violently that it would hit the wall 3 feet away if he was on my shoulder.  I kept taking him to the doctor, and they were stumped as well.  Finally, they did a scratch test, and found out he was allergic to pretty much everything I was eating “to keep my milk supply up.”  Talk about mommy guilt.  You think you are doing the absolute best thing for your child, only to find out that what you are doing has been slowly killing him.  And here’s the thing, Bubbie was the happiest baby in the world! Oh, and because he was allergic to dairy and soy, there were no formulas available, so I had to limit my diet of all 6 of his allergens as well.   
When he finally was getting relief from his allergies, he would hit himself.  I asked the doctor why, and she said it was because he had never lived without pain, and to him being in pain was NORMAL.  Sick, no?  I learned more about alternative food sources, reading labels, creative cooking, and recognizing allergic reactions to foods than I ever wanted to.  But it was worth it, because this is what Bubbie looked like 6 months after we figured out a good diet that worked. 
I can’t eat many things, but I do eat a lot!



I thought that my coming up with menus and foods that would satisfy and nourish him would be the hardest part of dealing with food allergies.  But it wasn’t.  The hardest part was all the other people in the world and their opinion that I was making it all up or overreacting.  Restaurants would not allow me to bring in foods or drinks for Bubbie, so we quit eating out.  Daycare providers would give him things to eat they KNEW he couldn’t have because he begged.  But they weren’t the ones up all night with a poor child screaming in pain and banging his head on the ground because IT HURT SO BAD.  When Manudo had a birthday party at a very popular kid’s venue named after a mouse, they refused me permission bring in a cupcake for Bubbie so he could take part in the celebration too (I did sneak that damn cupcake in anyway). 
Friends and family could be a challenge too.  Bubbie was not anaphylactic in his allergies.  He would suffer mostly through gastrointestinal distress and/or skin rashes.  Many times friends and family would make comments asking if a little bite of cookie/cake/pastry/pasta/etc would really hurt that much…the thing about food allergies is they are not like environmental ones.  You never ever know when your reaction will change in severity or manifestation.  I have a friend who had what he thought was food intolerance to almonds.  He would eat them, and have stomach issues, but nothing really severe.  One day he ate an almond and went into anaphylactic shock and almost died.  Think of food allergies as cumulative and not episodic.  Every time you ingest something you are allergic to your body registers it and adds it to the amount.  Each individual “bite” is not just a bite, it is a bite added to all the other bites you have ever had and you have no idea where your breaking point for severe -v- mild reaction is located.  So yes, just one bite could have hurt him, a lot. 
At the back to school orientations every year, many of the other parents would roll their eyes and complain that they couldn’t send peanut butter sandwiches for snacks to school, or cupcakes and cakes for their precious off-springs birthday party in class.  I never spoke out, but inside I was screaming “Is your child’s peanuts and sweets more important than my child’s LIFE?!?”  Is it really that big of a deal to read a freakin’ label and/or be empathetic or even GRATEFUL that you don’t have to feed that kid daily?  And, what the Hell is up with birthday parties in school?  We never had them when I was growing up, is it part of societies worship of children and everything they do that we must now celebrate their birthdays 3 times (school, friends party, family party)?



Your kids peanuts are not more important than THIS kid’s life!



Anywho, as Bubbie grew older, it seemed like every year he had fewer and fewer food allergens.  Just imagine the look on his face when he got to have his very first piece of cake that was made from real ingredients!  And here is the kicker, he suffered so much pain as a young child that he was AFRAID to try many of the foods that were deemed okay.  We had to go through food challenges where a very tiny bit of the food/allergen was introduced for a week.  The next week you added a bit more, the next week a bit more, etc. until you reach the equivalent of a serving.  Some of the foods still bothered him, even though he wasn’t technically allergic.  Those were the days that were tough, here I am telling him “It’s okay, the doctor said you can have it,” meanwhile an hour later he was curled in the fetal position looking at me with his huge blue eyes like I disappointed or lied to him.  *sniff*
He is now almost 9, and still has oral allergy syndrome and an allergy to tree nuts, but he no longer has to sit at the allergy free table, carry an epi-pen, answer 10000 questions about his medical alert bracelet, or be known as THAT kid.  However, in my mind, I still have intense fear for him and watch out for any type of response he may have to what he is eating.  I know how lucky he is to have outgrown his allergies, as well as to not have the anaphylactic reactions to his allergies that many children and adults suffer. But he could, and the doctors do say that just because he outgrew them for now, doesn’t mean he will be allergy free forever.  He could develop them again, or develop allergies to different things.  It is like living with a Jack-in-the-box waiting for the new issue to pop up sometimes.   
I will NEVER stop being an advocate for other parents who are going thorough what I did, and I ask, no BEG, you to please think of your own children/grand-children/nieces/nephews and how you would react if a request was made to help them fit in and/or save their lives.  At the end of the day, we all love our children, but maybe if we loved other people’s children a little more life would be easier for ALL children.
I could be your child, wouldn’t you
love me enough to protect me?
Until next time,
Nic
p.s. I would love to hear your thoughts/comments/etc regarding this, or any post I write.  Leave a comment!
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Dear Dumbass Manager:

Momginerd
Not the actual dumbass, but an actor portraying him

Dear Dumbass at work,
You are a major f-tard.  Just because you screwed up and are now scrambling to find a scapegoat for your misguided actions I will NOT be your punching bag.  In case you didn’t notice, you are 6’3″ and I am 5’1″, so it is probably unlikely that I was bullying you when I pointed out the reality of your lackadaisical actions over the past 9 months.  Yes, now YOU have some ‘splaining to do and I am not going to bail you out.  YOU are the one with the 2 fancy lease cars, corner office, and staff.  I am the peon that has been going behind you cleaning up your shit-pile like a street sweeper.  Is it really my fault that now you are being questioned?  Should I just bury my head in the sand  like you have, and pretend that it is all going to work out when clearly you have created a big f’n mess?  I think not.  Oh, and YES I have documented every.single.time you declined to act on the situation, so just try to blame me.

For what it is worth, you may have felt better venting your pedantic frustrations on me, but you looked like a major ass.  All 5 people who witnessed your toddler-like outburst were full of indignation and umbrage after our meeting.  As far as your comment that I was “yelling at you”, all the while you were standing over me, projecting spittle in my direction and banging the table, next time I will try whispering.  Pardon me, I didn’t realize that you had such sensitive hearing to rational speech.

Can’t wait to see how you explain this!

I have decided that passive resistance is the way to go with you.  So even though you deserve to be brought to the carpet for your actions, I will be sitting back and watching you crash and burn.  I am sure the VP will be happy to know your decisions has cost the company a lot of money!  I hope you enjoyed your little venting session, because when you are the PEON next month, I am sure you will be handed your ass to yourself on a shiny platter.  Meanwhile, I will be laughing my ass off!

So, congratulations!  You are the idiot of the year.  Let me know how you like the reward that will be coming to you soon ‘cuz I am sure the company will appreciate your attempt to play hide the weeny with their money!

Even David thinks you are an idiot!
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My top menus that satisfy almost ALL of my offspring

Momginerd

Being a working mom, I struggle with meals.  One of the big rules in my household is we eat dinner, sitting down at the table, with REAL plates every single night….even if I don’t want to!  99% of our meals are home cooked, from scratch.  This mostly started due to Bubbie and his pervasive food allergies, and then just became the way we do things at the House of Chaos.  So, without further ado, here are the top meals that are in my rotation that can either be made ahead, made quickly, or put in the crock-pot while I am gone.  We only have 3 rules at our family dinners.



1.  We eat what we get and we don’t throw a fit.
      – I am NOT a short order cook.  I make every effort to prepare meals they will all at least tolerate.  I am also fair in NOT putting things on plates if it is something that they have a real aversion against (Manudo: No food touching, Bubbie: No onions, Princepessa: No tomatoes, HH: Triple servings of everything).



This is wrong in so many ways…electronics AND
elbows on the table????



2.  NO electronic devices allowed….not even for Mom and Dad.  There is nothing so important that means we have to eat meals while our noses are buried into cell phones, iPods, DS’s, TV, etc.  No one is going to DIE if they miss a text, I promise.
3.  Family meals are a good time to practice our manners so if mom is nice enough to take us OUT to dinner one day, we won’t look like we have escaped a barn.
Those are the rules, and for the most part the kids and HH don’t complain about them.  It works for us, so we all make the effort to be sure we are home and present (both physically and mentally) for our daily together time.
I will try to link to recipes if I have them.  If there is a meal you’d like the recipe for, add a comment and I will post it there.
  1. Homemade Mac -n- Cheese, Smoked Sausage baked in the oven with green onions and mushrooms and Steamed Broccoli with lemon.  I SWEAR my kids would eat all of these daily.  I know that I am very lucky that they like veggies, and I hope that by typing this, I have not jinxed myself.
  2. Breakfast for dinner:  Eggs (okay, I WILL make eggs to order…some like them scrambled, some like them over easy), Bacon or Sausage, and a fresh fruit salad.  Sometimes I will mix it up with pancakes or French Toast.  Let’s face it, kids of working mom’s don’t have the luxury of really good breakfasts on most days, so it is always a treat to have their favorites as dinner.
  3. Crock-Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes, steamed Green Beans.  My kids, and especially HH are huge carnivores.  They love meat, even if I don’t eat as much as they do.  I like the pot-roast because it usually leaves left-overs for HH and my lunches.  If I am especially organized, I will pre-boil the mashed potatoes the night before to make it a faster meal.
  4. New Improved Joe’s, Sweet Potato Fries, Sliced Apples.  I had to stop using almost all pre-made canned items when Bubbie was younger, so I came up with this recipe for sloppy joe’s using no canned sauces and with spinach for extra nutrients.  My kids LOVE it!  I have also served it over pasta ala Cincinnati Chili.
  5. Salmon Patties, Rice, and Asparagus.  I make the asparagus in a pan on the top of the stove with a pat of butter, splash of soy sauce, and 1/4 cup of water.  I have a rice cooker, and have found it so worth the investment.  Rice comes out perfect every.single.time.
  6. Broiled whole pork tenderloin (just baste with a mixture of stone ground mustard and maple), Vanilla sweet potatoes, and spinach salad with orange/balsamic dressing. I bake the sweet potatoes the night before, and keep the dressing for the salad in a cruet in the fridge at all times. 
  7. Tacos, Refried Beans, Spanish rice….need I say more?
  8. Pasta with Basalmic Puttenesca Sauce, Garlic Bread, and a Salad.  When I serve this, I try to keep the olives out of Bubbie’s serving :). 
  9. Pulled Pork (whole pork tenderloin, favorite BBQ sauce, diced onions, cook in crock pot all day, shred with two forks), Cole Slaw, Baked Beans.
  10. Chili, Homemade Corn Bread, Salad.  I mix it up by sometimes doing white chili, beanless chili, or traditional red chili.  I like to really spice it up, but keep some extra spices on hand to sprinkle on HH’s and mine when the kidlets are around who seem to be opposed to anything spicier than a hot dog some days.

What are some of your go to meals?   How do you save time?  I hate feeling like I am in a rut, and I feel that way frequently in the winter when we do not have as many options for fresh fruits and veggies.

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How My Kids Break the Rules of Logic and Science!

Momginerd

There are some things that defy all reason and scientific principles.  Most of these are things that have to do with my offspring.  Below is a list of things that make me go “WHUCK?” on a daily basis.

1.  Toothpaste and its ability to travel long distances.

Every single muther furking time I go into the kids’ bathroom I find dried crusty toothpaste in the most odd places.  Today, I found it on the windowsill, UNDER the blinds, that is approximately 5 ft from the sink and NO WHERE near the towel, which is also covered in a toothpaste/saliva combo.

2.  Socks and where the Hell do they go?
I swear to all that is holy I have a basket of single socks that contains more socks than the actual pairs that end up in my kids drawers.  Where do the socks go?  Is there a black hole in my dryer that ONLY likes kids socks?  Ironically, I rarely have an issue matching pairs of my socks.  So, this black hole is not only a mystery, it is selective!
3.  Pee on the seat
Bubbie is great at lifting and putting down the seat.  It is most likely a long term repercussion (which I am sure will require some sort of therapy when he is an adult) of my fastidious toilet training.  Yes, I did encourage him to “blot the tip” while training, and YES he has the cleanest underwear in the house thank.you.very.much to this day!  This pee on the seat is about the girls.  How in the heck do they manage to get dribble on the seat?  Are they hovering in their own bathroom?  Are they doing jumping jacks?  Did I get confused and encourage them to shake it off while I was teaching Bubbie to blot?

4.  Selective Hearing

How come I can whisper something about one of the kids from 3 rooms away and they can hear it, yet when I am right in front of them asking something they can’t?  Should I yell my secret thoughts to HH and whisper my requests to the offspring?

5.  Selective Blindness

Actual sign haning in all offspring rooms
This is the first cousin to Selective Hearing.  I find it usually accompanies my request to fetch some object of theirs they are missing.  For example,  Manudo has selective vision for things as large as her lunch box.  I have packed her lunch and remind her to grab it on her way out the door.  She opens the fridge, stares RIGHT at the damn thing and says she can’t find it!  I then will give her detailed directions to the area right in front of her face, and she STILL can’t see it!  When I point it out, after stomping to the kitchen from the other room where I was importantly updating my FB status, she is all like “Oh….hahahahah….Sorry mom!”  Google revealed this is a REAL illness!  Refrigerator Blindness.  And we all know, if it is on GOOGLE it must be TRUE!

6.  Ackbassward Sleeping times

The unique phenomena of kids waking up at the crack of dawn on non-school days, yet having to be dragged kicking and screaming from their beds on school days.  Why is it that they go to bed at reasonable times on school days and have a harder time getting up than when they are allowed leniency on the weekends?  Perhaps I will do an experiment and let them stay up as late as they want on school days and make them go to bed early on weekends.  It would only be fair, since I happen to enjoy sleeping in on my few days off of work!

These are just a few….I am sure as time goes on and I enter the realm of parenting a teenager more phenomena will manifest!

Until next time!
Nic

P.S.  Did you know Momginerd has a Facebook page?  If you like the blog, you will love the FB page which is updated almost daily!

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I am not playing Hookie…

Momginerd

Hello Momginerd fans,

I have been  remiss in not updating the blog lately, but I PROMISE I have a good excuse.  I have been dealing with some pretty major heath issues.  I feel comfortable posting now, that we have ruled out any life-threatening issues, but I am still searching for answers.

I have RA, and for a chronicle of that please see: My body is trying to kill me, which details some of the trials and tribulations of living with an autoimmune disease.  About 6 weeks ago my rheumatologist increased one of my medications, and either coincidently or as a side effect, I have developed some “interesting” neurological “disturbances.”
Including: numbness on the left side of my face, lack of coordination/vertigo, visual halos/auras/floaties, losing my words when speaking, and numbness in hands and arms (mostly concentrated on the left side).  Through process of elimination we do know 3 things:

1.  I have a BRAIN, and she is gorgeous.  I know because the doctor gave me a CD and I can look at her whenever I want!

2.  I do not have lesions, aneurisms, tumors or other brain related abnormalities that could be causing my issues.

3.  I do have some spinal issues with 4 protruding discs, but again they may explain SOME symptoms, but not all.

What we do not know, but suspect, is that I probably have a combination of issues (yeah, yeah, enter complicated woman comment here) that are causing my problems.  We believe the hand issues are caused by the protruding discs, so I am going to physical therapy.  I most likely have Hemiplegic Migraines which explain the other effects, and some residual side effects from the increase in the RA medication, methotrexate. I have had migraines in the past, but never one that has lingered as long as this one. I basically have been living with some level of a headache since the beginning of September.  Most of the time I can power through and move on, but sometimes they knock my flat on my ass.  NOTHING makes it go completely away, and I can now set up a side business dispensing drugs, if needed, since I have been prescribed everything from Imitrex to Vicodin to try and get these headaches under control. 

   
I used to look human, but I have
had 4000 Xrays in 1 month
I am anxiously awaiting yet another call with results of yet more tests to see where the next step will lead.  Most likely that will be to a neurologist and a pain clinic….which I am sure will end up in yet more tests so that I finally cease to look human and more resemble this a halo of myself, and more drugs to take up space in my overflowing aresenal….

Until then, the good news is my doctors (damn, that is scary to have to put the S after it), agree that I am to take it easy and play hooky, I  mean work from home, as much as possible.  Thankfully, I have an awesome team who understands and really do not NEED me daily to do their jobs!

Thank you all for your patience with me, I promise once all this is sorted out, I will be back full of snark and sarcasm per usual!

Lots and lots of  love,Nic

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Rites of Passage or Mothering a Junior High School Daughter (God Help me now!)

Momginerd
I wanted to be a Zombie, but Mom made me pretty instead

Last week, at least in my mind, Manudo looked like this on Halloween.  All that was important was being pretty or scary, getting lots of attention, and KNOWING that Mommy would always be there to take care of her.  She was always a unique child, even from a very young age.  Manudo is one of those kids who doesn’t do things on a linear slope, she does them in peaks.  She has always been this way!  She went from not walking or crawling to RUNNING, at 9 months.  She never jibber jabbered, she spoke in sentences, before she was 1.  She is like this in school too.  I will be all worried about a poor grade in a course (I don’t know if online grade reporting is a blessing or a curse at this point), only to be surprised and delighted when she aces the final exam.  Yes, this causes me lots of worry and trepidation, because I can’t predict any achievements based any sort of a curve for her, she either gets it 100% or doesn’t get it at all.  And just because she doesn’t get it today, doesn’t mean in a day she won’t have 100%.  It drives me absolutely bat-assed crazy!

This past week has involved many rites of passage for both of us.  She and her team won 1st place in her cheerleading competition after a very difficult, heart wrenching (for mom, think mean girls), exhausting, thrilling, and “political” 4 months of 5 days per week practice.  She was THRILLED.  Then, she had her first dance at her Junior High School.  In years past, Manudo has always been the child who wants to be something scary and totally  made up for Halloween (above picture notwithstanding, since she was too young to pick then).  She has been scary witches with warts and green skin, zombies, and skeletons……so perhaps my mommy spidey sense should have went off when she said she wanted to go to her dance as a “pretty witch.”  But it didn’t.  Manudo has never before expressed any interest in boys, attracting boys, or being around boys.  She was still in the OMG, Boys are Gross stage….last week. 

So, being the Cool Mom I am, I proceeded to go out and get her lots of “pretty witch” accouterments.  She had gorgeous glittery false eye-lashes, eye make-up, lipstick, etc….I also spent about 45 minutes styling her almost to her waist hair.  It was a lot of work, and she looked gorgeous.  She kept hopping up and looking in the mirror, was asking all kinds of questions about make-up application, and was very critical if there were any smudges or the like.  She kept asking how I learned to apply makeup, how hard is it to curl hair, and other beauty routine related questions.  It was also the very first time EVER she didn’t scream like a howler monkey when I styled her hair….Still, I was clueless. 

She asked me, specifically, to take her to the school for the party/dance.  On the way there, she is asking me all sorts of questions about my first dance experience.  It was quite the challenge to recall 100 years ago when I was in Jr. High, but I dredged up some memories about first dances.  You remember the girls on one side, boys on the other…waiting with bated breath as a very cute Jake Ryan looking boy traversed the 100 miles of gym floor thinking: “Is he coming towards me?  What will I do if he doesn’t ask me to dance?  What will I do if he DOES? OMG, he is coming towards me, for real, I hope they play Stairway to Heaven, cuz it is like 8 minutes long” times?

As I shook myself out of my reverie to the past, I noticed she was very fidgety, anxious and nervous.  Being still clueless, I said, “Are you nervous?  Why are you so nervous? Sit still, you will mess up your hair and get glitter all over my car!”  She then proceeded to ask, in a very tiny and timid voice, “Mommy do you think the boys will think I look pretty?”  I was totally speechless and felt this odd prickling feeling behind my eyelids, and right then I was back in junior high with that feeling when the boy did not ask me to dance.  I wanted to turn that glitter covered car around and put my intelligent, beautiful, and for the first time ever self-conscious daughter in some footy pajamas, make her some hot chocolate and read her “Goodnight Moon” for the 1 millionth time.  Instead, I told her that the joy of dances is there are lots of boys there so if one doesn’t like her, there is a high chance that another one will for sure.  She then said, “but what if “he” doesn’t think I look pretty”….and I almost ran over the cop directing traffic in and out of the school for the kiss and ride line.   I told her that if “he” thinks she looks pretty in school, then “he’d” be blind and dumb to not think she looks pretty right now! And I felt yet more prickling behind my eyelids and realized that I was dropping my (in my mind) 3 year old daughter off to be ogled by nasty pubescent wolves!  As we pulled up to our spot in the line for her to get out, she opened the door, hesitated for a second, then got out.  Before she shut the door, she looked at me, and in her voice still reminiscent of when she really was 3 said, “Thank you and I love you Mommy.” 

The prickling became a floodgate and I bawled the whole way home….without my daughter.  But I guess, even at 12 her most important things about Halloween this year were: Looking pretty, getting lots of attention, and knowing that Mommy will always be there to take care of her!

Nic
P.S. She texted me after the dance and said “he” thought she looked awesome…..

I’d love to hear your thoughts on my blog!  Please add your comments and let me know what you think….any ideas on what you’d like to read here?  Let me know!

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Things Kids Say

Momginerd

Here is a short compliation of some of the things I have overheard in my house in the past couple of weeks. Obviously, Princepessa is a born comedienne Feel free to laugh, and even better, add your own in the comments section!

Princepessa to Manudo (6 and 12): Mom said for you to put on your bra, Manudo.  She said you will be in PUBLIC and you have to wear a bra.  I am special cuz I don’t have to put one on, not.even.in.public!  Manudo:  Well that’s becausse you are only 6 and haven’t joined the IBT club, you’re still a BABY. 
Princepessa:  I am never joining that club, I am going to be a boy when I grow up!

Bubbie to Manudo (Bubbie is 8):  today all the kids were making fun of me in school because I am the shortest kid in class.
Manudo:  You aren’t short, you are FUN sized!

Princepessa to HH and me: Why haven’t you guys kissed lately?  HH and I proceed to kiss.
Princepessa: “Oh the horror!  my eyes, they are melting!!!”

Bubbie to Princepessa:  You are so annoying, I am going to sell you on eBay when I grow up!
Princepessa:  Well, mom was going to try that but decided not to because she said they’d send me back. 
Manudo to HH: But WHY do I have to learn algebra!  You are an engineer and I heard you say how dumb algebra is and how you never ever use it…you just do Excel formuals! 
HH: *crickets*
Princepessa to the dog:  You are the best dog in the whole world.  I love you so much!  I do wish you were a cat, though.  They are softer and like to purr.
Bubbie to Princepessa:  You SO do not my old room in the basement, you will be scared.  It is very dark and there may be monsters!
Princepessa: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have been sharing a room with a monster named Manudo for 6 whole years!  I love the dark lonely basement, all by myself!
Till next time,
Nic