Momginerd

The Unexpected Joy of Aging

September 17, 2018 Momginerd

aging

Aging happens, and should be a goal not seen as a punishment. If you are lucky enough to be considered “old” then you have lived, which is WAY better than the alternative….

I have had a love/hate relationship with aging over the years. In some ways I look resentfully in the mirror and see glimmers of the young hard-bodied woman I was. I remember having a flat stomach, no gray hairs or lines on my face. But, then I stop and think about the young woman I was. For as cute as I may have been back then, I didn’t know it. I didn’t appreciate it. I didn’t believe it.

The curse of youth is we don’t appreciate it until we are too old to live it fully. The tireless levels of energy, no creaky joints screaming protest at activities that were easy and effortless, the firm muscles that actually responded to the gym, and the carefree living of the first tastes of freedom with minimal debt, responsibility or stress.

As I see the big 5-0 approaching on the horizon, I have become reflective of my self-esteem and self-value, and I wouldn’t go back to the woman I was in those days. I truly love the woman I have become. I am happy. What 25 year old woman feels confident in her body, mind and soul? Not many I have met!

I have my opinions and thoughts and do not feel compelled to apologize for them anymore. I do not live my life to an expectation of how I am seen by others, but live it to how I want to SEE MYSELF. There is a huge and very important difference in those.

My youth taught me many lessons: some good, some bad…but they all were integral to my learning me.

Here is what I have learned about myself:

1. I love wholly and un-apologetically. Yes I have been hurt, damaged and sometimes broken. But, I wouldn’t change that part of myself despite the chances of future hurts. I prefer to live, give love, and appreciate the small moments of joy and try not to worry about the “what ifs.”

Image result for funny old woman

2. Life is funny! Look for the joy in the every single day. It doesn’t have to be momentous, just something as simple as a funny thing your child says, or, for me, some awkward moment that would have embarrassed me in my youth, but now can bring me to tears of laughter. I have a running joke with my girlfriends: Days without spilling something on my boobs. I send pictures of the daily spillage, and we all laugh. My record is 3 days. Image may contain: one or more people and closeup

3. Life is SHORT!

Grab that it by the tail and hang on for the ride. Too soon you won’t be able to really embrace all the opportunities. I do not want to live a life of regret. Hell, when I die I want my friends and family to have a party and remember me as I am now. I want them to say: she lived, she loved and she laughed, a lot! When that special person says that they think you are attractive, believe them. Because as we age, we also don’t have time for bullshit and generally mean what we say.

Image result for funny gravestone quotes

Until next time,

Enjoy the Ride my friends!

Nic

trust, Uncategorized

Am I Good Enough?

September 11, 2018September 13, 2018 Momginerd

Image result for am i good enough Insecurity after a bad relationship is horrible. Especially when you truly and deeply loved the past person. Loss of a relationship hurts no matter the circumstances. But, infidelity is like a vicious parasite that burrows into the deepest hollows of your soul. Time passes…eyes open…hope begins to be renewed. You feel like the parasite has been vanquished. Smiles…heart flutters…HOPE springs. Then, as you feel a thaw in the block ice you spent years slowly dripping healing layers on in order to truly live in a world seemingly filled with happy people, the parasite raises its ugly head and starts whispering: Hey, you are fine….Don’t set yourself up again. You know you will just get hurt….And you believe it. You start picking apart every communication, every gesture, every nuance of every single interaction with every “potential” future relationship. The illogical sounds logical. You begin to feel unworthy, unlovable and all the other “un” that helped you build the fucking ice block in the first place. It is a vicious circle of self loathing, distrust, and abject disillusion of every tenant in the “good” of people to which you once held in high esteem.

How can the circle be broken? And, perchance even worse: Do you truly want to break this circle or just stay in the ice-cold self-built SAFE prison of apathy? Though the housing is cold, the safety is warm, embracing and mind numbing. Mind numbing….it is heavenly, until it isn’t. A single word or look from a single person begins the melting. You feel a spark of hope, which incites more melting and you take a breath and see a puddle at your feet reflecting the hope of blue skies and smiles….sighs…touch…happiness.

Image result for puddle to a pond

Your heart sees this puddle and wants to jump in feet first. It looks heavenly and in its depths you see glimmers of your old self. Before the ugly…cold…hurt. You start by a toe dip, you find yourself smiling…laughing…wanting…and the puddle grows, becoming a pond. The water isn’t too cold or deep, so you wade in a bit. If the parasite senses no impending danger; and you have been frantically looking for any danger much like a new mom letting her child play free for the first time at the playground, more melting and your pond is becoming a lake. But, perhaps an ice covered lake, one upon which you are a tugboat constantly breaking up the frigid covering and leaving space for your lover to follow, if they are brave enough to have faith in your navigation skills. It isn’t a test of the new person, but more an unraveling of yourself in small weighted pieces as you continue to watch the shore for the parasite to be right.

Hopefully, because for the love of all things that keep you sane, one day you will look up and realize you cannot even see the shore of your lake. Your lake is now a vast ocean of experiences… sighs… touches… love. The ocean isn’t smooth, there are waves, storms and even some icebergs along the way, but, you have a co-captain along the journey. The parasite isn’t dead and whispers in your ear at your most vulnerable, but now it is the one locked in the ice and you are basking in the warmth of renewal…hope…and dreams of journeys to come.

Good to be back Momginerdians!

Love and all that, Nic

Uncategorized

Millennial is not a bad word

February 9, 2017September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Can you hear me now? No, Please text it to me.

R U getting this? No? TTYL8R!

So recently and not so recently, I have seen a lot of complaining about “millennials.” Hell, I have made some comments myself. However, if you truly pay attention to them you may be surprised. Sure, they spend all their time on their phones/laptops and sometimes conversations with them are less forthcoming and understandable than a Neanderthal, but they seriously have some fantastic morals and awareness that I know I did not have at their age. For example, almost every one of my oldest’s millennial friends were extremely aware of the election as the platforms. Even though most were not old enough to vote. They had interpersonal debates, discussions and delved deep into public policy, women’s rights, consumerism, and foreign policy.

They also have a true touch on the future of the planet. You know the one WE are supposed to be protecting for them? THEY may end up saving it for us! We call my kids the recycling nazi’s because they will honestly chastise me if I put the wrong bottle in the wrong bin. My son and daughter even compost in the summer!

Another thing I have noticed about Millennials is that they genuinely love “people.” By this, I mean they are open minded, forgiving and accepting. Empathy is valued more than criticism. I have witnessed open and honest conversations between teens that have deep tones of empathy for each other….yes, they are done via Snaps, Lines, MMS, etc and not face to face, but they are doing it. And this isn’t just girls, it is the boys too. The millennial young men I have known are not afraid to express themselves and their feelings. They stand up for themselves and do not discount their or their friends’ feelings. They not only accept individual differences, but truly seem to embrace and make efforts to understand the “why” of differences.

Some may call them “liberals” in a snide or dismissive way. Or say that they are unrealistic and romanticizing real life. However, historically speaking, they said the same thing about flight, women’s rights, and autonomous cars….

Millennials have a lot to say and a lot of it is awesome. Maybe we should stop criticizing them and

start listening. We may need to adapt to the new genres of communication and not expect them to go back to telephones with 5foot cords in the kitchen. We may just learn something important.

Cheers!

Momginerd

Uncategorized

That one time my kid yelled Cock in public….

February 1, 2017September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Don’t let this cute face fool you

Today I am going with Minion 1 to a Chinese New Years celebration. It is going to be great fun and educational and I am really looking forward to the event. However, I can’t help but recall when we went for a family dinner at our local favorite Chinese restaurant about 6 years ago.

Princepessa was about 5 years old and just mastering the art of reading. We all sit down and there are Chinese zodiac placemats on the table. Which, as a parent with 3 small kids, are a good way to distract them from trying to stab each other with chopstick until food arrives. We are all reading them and discussing the different characteristics associated with each sign. Well, eventually we get to determining which animal is for each of us.

Audrey and I are both year of the Rooster. However, this restaurant has a cock as the title. Which in this day and age RARELY refers to the king of the hen house. So, Princepessa sees this, and YELLS! Mom, I have a Cock! To which all the neighboring tables begin to giggle. Which (as any parent will attest) only encouraged her. I mean she is the 3rd child so attention was a bit thin for her….

She continues to read the dates and asks me which year I was born. When she looks it up she yells, even louder now she has an audience….YOU have a cock too! But yours must be bigger because you are so much older than me!!!

Image result for chinese zodiac placemat

I was literally torn between hiding under the table in embarrassment or to hide the laughing to keep from encouraging her more. The poor waitress saw our distress and amusement and was giggling as well. I could hear her telling the story back in the kitchen. The owner of the restaurant came out and gave Princepessa a high five for her reading skills….and a free meal.

Which only encouraged her more….

For the next couple months every flying animal was a “cock.”

Look mom! A red breasted cock!

And it kept on going….

Cock Sauce

So, today as I attend this dinner my number one goal is to not laugh during any cock related zodiac stories.

Politics

I am a moderate, and that is OKAY!

January 25, 2017September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Hello Momginerdians,

If you are like me, your Facebook is either filled with a bunch of political posts, or you have unfollowed every person you used to enjoy and are looking at cat videos, memes and recipes (I am the latter). We all get it, you are upset/happy about the new POTUS. It is the end of days/beginning of a new era. And, frankly, I am about done with it all and am about social-mediaed out (shh, it’s my blog, I can make up words).

Am I happy about the current political state of this country? Nope. Have I lost all hope? Nope. And that’s okay. And what is even BETTER is I have as much RIGHT to this opinion as you do to yours. I will guarantee you 1 thing: Ranting, swearing, doing EXACTLY the same thing to men that you are against them doing to women will never ever change my mind.

I am all for standing up for your beliefs, but I do also believe there is a way to present them that doesn’t have to be filled with foul language and abusive context. Another thing that will never change my mind, is celebrities. Especially ones who have garnered their career over objectifying others (men, you are included here) or being overtly sexualized to make profits. Back in the day there was this word for people who sold their bodies for profit…..It is escaping me now. ;-).

Now before ranting about me being entitled/white/privileged, etc starts, I can assure you I am 1 of 3. I worked for my education, I work at a job (historically dominated by men), and I have been harassed/abused/discounted. But, I still do not blame a whole gender for this. I blame our culture which continually finds ways to divide us as humans. Color, Race, Sexuality, Socioeconomic status, Gender, Body Shape, Address, Education, Career, the list goes on and on.

A president isn’t going to fix those. Could he/she make it worse? Absolutely. Do you have to accept it? Absolutely NOT. But, being an ugly butt about it isn’t helping your cause. Do not present data as facts based on 3 second video clips, or quotes starting with “…” those little dots mean that something totally different may have prefaced the comment. Remember: All things you see on the internet are not truth. CHECK your facts before reposting, it saves me the time, lol.

If we want change we have to be the change. Be a motivation for my son and daughters, not someone I have to unfollow for fear my kids will see it, or change the channel because I am embarrassed by the rhetoric/vileness/crudeness.

And if this post pisstified you, good. Now you know how I feel when I can’t even enjoy a good cat video without cringing as I scroll through my feed. And, y’all know, Momginerd is no stranger to swearing. But, sometimes a message comes across better if you don’t lower yourself to the oppositions standards, especially when you are trying to influence change. Then it just becomes a pissing match and, ladies, we are missing something that will could ever allow us to can win a pissing match.

Oh, and if you are going to protest something, here is a friendly tip: Check your spelling! I will not judge you for your views, but I will judge your spelling.

Image result for embarrassing signs from the march

Kisses,

Momginerd the moderate not liking Trump or Hilary but really hating the division and ugliness being broadcast to me without my choice right now person.

Cooking, family

Do these memories make this meal taste better?

January 23, 2017September 13, 2018 Momginerd

Hello Momginerdians (Yeah, I just made that shit up…Let’s start our own nerd revolution)!

So, recently I joined a facebook group dedicated to using cast iron skillets. What is so special about that, you ask? Well, for me it is because they are the same pans that I received from my grandmother.

As many of you know who have been following me for a while, my childhood was, well, pretty much sucktastic. But, the best parts were going in the summer to visit my Mamaw and Auntie down in the mountains of Virginia. This lonely only child, who many times had oatmeal alone for dinner since my dad was always working, would have 3 square home cooked meals a day and a bunch of cousins to play with.

I LOVE BREAD!

I was FASCINATED by my mamaw and aunt’s cooking. I mean, my mamaw could make perfect biscuits by hand without a rolling pin or round mold. She would just pinch her hands together and each and every biscuit was perfectly round, brown, flaky and scrumptious…in her cast iron skillet.

We would make homemade jams and jellies, fried apple pies, fried chicken (yeah, you get the picture…yummy fried deliciousness), macaroni and cheese, corn bread, chicken and dumplings…the list goes on an on….all in her cast iron pans. The skillets were as much an extension of her arms as they were her cooking vessels.

In later years my beloved Mamaw developed Alzheimers disease and the days of being awakened byt he sound of iron pans banging together were past. My aunts and dad had the sad task of closing her household when she was no longer able to live alone. The kindly asked all the grandkids what (if anything) they would like from her home. I immediately knew I wanted at least one of her skillets. I was fortunate enough to end up with 5 of them! Some of them were in perfect condition, and some I had to give some TLC to bring back from oxidation and lack of use. But, all were much appreciated and wanted by me.

Made in the antique skillet

My joining the cast iron cooking FB page encouraged me to post a picture of a meal I was preparing for my family. A pretty simple meal for a busy work/school night. Sauteed cabbage with bacon and onions. I served it with smoked sausage, and the minions had rolls too. It went cast iron viral! Almost 400 likes/shares/comments. The popularity of the post got me to talk to my kids about it and tell them about my memories of my mamaw and her cooking and how every single time I cook with these pans I think about her. Just the smell of the pans heating up bring back memories of my time with her.

The kids seemed impressed and enjoyed the stories. I felt like mom of the year for not only preparing a home-cooked meal, but instilling a little family history at the same time.

We went about our business of cleaning/homework/gaming/etc. Until about an hour later I heard my pans being shuffled around in the kitchen. I went to investigate, only to find my offspring inspecting all my pans and negotiating for who gets which pan……when I die.

Me: Well I am still using them, you know.
Princepessa: Well, we are just being prepared, you know you are OLD mom!
Me: You get the ugliest one.

What type of family heirlooms do you have that have surprising meaning to you?

parenting

The road less traveled

January 4, 2017September 11, 2018 Momginerd

This year marks the last year my oldest will officially be still a “child.” She is now 17 and a senior (WHUCK!) in High School. She will soon be making her final decisions about college and then will be off for her new adventure in life. I wanted to make this Christmas about more than gifting. So I got her (amongst other things) the necklace above. But, I also had it wrapped in a letter. I am re-posting the letter here (with her permission).

Dear Daughter,

For me this is a bittersweet Christmas. It is, in fact, the very last Christmas before you are officially an adult. This coming year is filled with many firsts for you. You will be leaving home and in charge of your well being without having me or your dad here to catch or assist you daily. You will make decisions that have a long term effect on your entire life. It is stressful. But don’t let stress guide you. It is easy to pick the simple path of least resistance. But what happens when that path is chosen? You lead a simple life. A simple life isn’t a negative in and of itself, but it is the life you want to lead? You are adventurous, righteous, curious, and brave. These are the characteristics of change makers, not path followers.

My wish for you (besides figuring out how not to spill on your boobs) is for you to BE HAPPY. To be happy you need to start figuring out what it is that will make you happy. And not happy for now, but for the long term. My task for you is to realistically look at where you imagine yourself say at my age, or even at 30. Take some time to yourself and meditate on this.

Think of these things:

1. Will I be married?

2. Will I have children?

3. What do I like to do for fun?

4. Do I work to live or is work my life?

5. What makes me get up every single day and move forward even when I don’t want to?

Once you start figuring out these things, or even have some semblance of an idea about what you would answer for them, you will begin to understand what truly makes you motivated.

For me, if YOU are happy, fulfilled and proud of yourself, then I will be too. Whether you are an MD, PA, RN, JD, MS or any other myriad of letters you can accumulate after your name.

I picked this necklace for you because not only is it a symbol for woman power, but because to me, it represents not limiting yourself. The world is filled with glass ceilings, but you are strong enough to break any of them; even if your ultimate goal is to not be a career woman but a mom and partner.

No matter your ultimate path, know that you can make your life as meaningful and fulfilling as you want and are willing to break ceilings to achieve. I hope this necklace will be a reminder to never ever limit yourself based on outside expectations.

I love you so much it hurts some days. I feel blessed to be not only your mom, but to see how our relationship is maturing into a friendship.

With more love than stars in the sky for you now and forever,

Mom

Uncategorized

Gary Won’t Be Back

July 13, 2016September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Hello Momginerd fans. First off, I want to say it is good be back in the blogosphere. I had a looong dry spell of total lack of motivation and interest in writing. Recently, I have felt motivated again. Not sure how often I will post here, but figured it was better than writing books on Facebook. haha!

So, I am an engineer. In this function usage of a laptop is integral to my job. Daily. I sometimes have 6-7 Excel spreadsheets, Layout files and PowerPoint documents open at any one time. For you non-nerdy people, this takes a LOT of RAM and generally needs a decent sized monitor. My company, although awesome, is stingy with computer updates. My current laptop is over 3 years old. Which in digital terms makes it align with the Tyrannosaurus Rex or maybe a car with crank windows.

Actual keyboard I use daily

Luckily, I received an email notification that I was (finally) due to trade in my lapasaurus for a brand new shiny Yugo version computer. I was very excited and followed the instructions; happily picking my engineering mobile workstation from the 3 approved choices allowed. I received confirmation that said a mobile workstation with UPGRADED RAM would be delivered when I returned from our annual vacation. Yay me!

Hello Momginerd, I am here to make your dreams come true!

Fast forward to day of the great upgrade. First off, I was scheduled for 8:00 AM and arranged my calendar accordingly to allow for no access for the 2 hours they allotted. When I log in, I see that they have moved the appointment to 3:00 PM. Strike One.

3:00 rolls around and Gary the IT guy rolls in with a big smile. I smile back and am dreaming of uber fast processing speeds and a new sleekly designed laptop (shhh! I am a nerd, we like these things). Then, I look at what he is holding and it looks like something from my nightmares. It was a tiny Disney princess tablet looking thing! Those of you who know me, can imagine my response. For those newbies, I will give you some highlights.

Me: Um, I think you have the wrong computer. I need an engineering laptop.

Gary (not his real name): No Momginerd, here is the invoice right here that has your name on it.

Me: NO, here is the email I received and as you can see it clearly outlines the specs for an ENGINEERING laptop. I show him my card: Momginerd, ENGINEER EXTRAORDINARE.

Gary: Let me talk to my manager…..

Me: Yes, you do that. (strike two)

15 minutes pass…..

Gary: (who has now started to twitch a bit upon approaching me) Momginerd? Umm..I talked to my manager….

Me:……..

Gary: Well, you see, ummm, he said that this is your new laptop…..*blushes profusely

Me: No it isn’t.

Gary: Well, you know, ummm…I have heard of this happening a lot lately…but ummm this is your laptop (he is backing away only to be trapped by the corner of the cube farm).

Me: Well Gary, you have just admitted to a flaw in your system. If a lot of people are saying this is a mistake, then surely you understand my inability to further the problem and enable future victims by not accepting this laptop. I will keep my lapasaurus until this is figured out.

Gary: Let me go talk to my manager……..

Me: You do that…. (strike 2.5)

15 minutes pass

Gary (who is now sweating profusely and seems to have lost the ability to speak without stuttering): mmmmooomm gi gi gi gi nerd? Um. he like said you like have to like take it.

Me: No I don’t, because if I log in to it even one time it becomes an asset assigned to my name, so I refuse since it is not technically MY laptop but a mistake.

Gary: ummmmmm…..well, ummm….hmmmm…

Me: Thank you for your time (not really). But it is now time for me to leave. Have a great evening. (strike three, I am outta there)

I then proceeded to pack up my lapasaurus and leave him standing alone in my space. I thought I smelled a slight odor of urine as I walked by.

Today I logged into my email and found an email. A scheduling appointment for a 15″ ENGINEERING laptop. I will name her Lola and we will make many happy spreadsheets together.

Bets are on as to which IT tech will come to deliver it to me. My bet is it will NOT be Gary.

Happy to be back, please like/share/comment if you enjoyed this!

Momginerd

Uncategorized

Things Kids Say, pt 2

January 11, 2013September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Like most families, our schedule is very chaotic and overwhelming. One thing I insist on is everyone sitting down together for dinner. Of course, this means sometimes we eat dinner at 4:30 PM, and other times at 8:00 PM. I do this because I think it is a great time to commune over food and really get to have the kids attention. There are just a couple of rules we enforce for our dinner:

1. Use your manners. Practicing at home means you will not forget them when you are out at a restaurant or eating at a friend’s house.By manners we mean, no elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed, and keep bodily functional noises away (and I have a BOY, so farting and burping are things he takes great pride in doing well).

2. Take what you get, and don’t throw a fit. I work hard all day and make concerted efforts to cook at least one thing per meal that everyone will enjoy. It takes a lot of coordination and planning to make a healthy family dinner after a long day at work. I will not tolerate bitching and complaining about WHAT I have prepared. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it….but there will not be any dessert or snacking later. And being Momginerd, yes, I have an APP for that. It is called Evernote, and it ROCKS!

Last year I started a tradition where we all go around the table answering 1 question. This has led to some pretty funny responses from the offspring.

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Princepessa (7): I want to be a millionaire pet shop owning artist.
Me: How she will you BECOME a millionare?
Princepessa: Marry someone rich, duh.
Me: Why don’t you earn your own money?
Princepessa: Because if a boy is dumb enough to give me his money, why shouldn’t I just do what I like? Me: “crickets”

Me: Bubbie, when do you want to get your hair cut? (His hair is pretty long, and he has even be mistaken as a girl on occasion).
Bubbie (9): I don’t.
Me: Why not?
Bubbie: The ladies love the locks, mom.
Me: Okay then……

Me: Manudo, put down those electronics and come to the table.
Manudo (13): grumble, grumble grumble.
Me: I don’t understand why you kids are so ADDICTED to those electronics! When I was a kid we used to go OUTSIDE and play with other real life people!
Manudo: Looking over at my 2 lap tops, iPad, Kindle, iPhone “Jeeze mom, I don’t know where we get it from.”
Me: “………….”

Nic

Uncategorized

Things that make me want to stab myself in the eye

January 3, 2013September 11, 2018 Momginerd

Soooooo….I was going to resolve to be less sarcastic this year, but then I didn’t. Life is just to damn stressful and quirky to not allow oneself some small self-gratifications. Sarcasm is my coping mechanism. I wish that my sarcasm was paired with a better self-filter sometimes, but most of the time the people who are around me know how to take me. While perusing the web I was inundated with different images that made me want to stab out my own eye. I just couldn’t help but say to myself “Whuck the hell were you thinking?”

Seriously? Whuck!?! Why the hell would anyone WANT these nails? How in the hell does she wipe her ass or wash her hair? I am guessing she thinks she has some really cool nails, but no one can get close enough to her to check them out because of her overwhelming stench. Is that middle finger supposed to be a bottle opener or something? Is the thumb a corkscrew? Because if so, THEN I can see the practicality of those nails!

And here is the next submission to WHUCK are you thinking? Unless this man is independently wealthy, I am guessing his career choices are severely limited. I mean, I wouldn’t even want him to make my burrito supreme from Taco Bell. What if something fell out of that hole in his nose into my food? I only hope he is a tattoo artist or something. If not, I am sure his parents are still bugging him to clean his room in the basement. Momginerd is not against tattoos, in fact she even has TWO, however, she also believes in the fact that to be successful you pretty much have to not scare the shit out of old people and young children. Hell, this guy scared the shit out of me even with that pleasant dreamy smile on his face.

Look again, this isn’t porn!

Now, I am all for keeping cool when it is hot, but I am also for not making people think they are looking at something pornographic when really it is just an assault to the eyes. Whuck was she thinking? Didn’t the dude shopping with her have an opinion What is with the tie holding the straps together? Is that to offer more support for her backboobs? I can’t stop looking at this picture and wondering how the hell did she get her backboobs to do that? Where are the nipples was my next thought.

Happy New Year!
Momginerd